According to one study, the top reason Millennials gave for leaving the Church was that they felt judged or misunderstood. So how can we better connect with Millennials in our wards?
When Richard Ostler took over as bishop of a Young Single Adult ward near the start of this decade, he set out to learn as much as he could about the 18-to-30-year-old Latter-day Saints in the West Valley City and Magna areas.
He reached out through social media "to get them to talk to me and tell me their stories," he said.
At the same time, Robert Ferrell was serving as a YSA bishop and then stake president in the North Ogden area and launched his own investigation into how young Latter-day Saints interact with their faith and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Both were concerned too many millennial members, those ages 22 to 37, according to the Pew Research Center, weren't actively engaged with the church. In their ministry, Ostler and Ferrell refused to accept that it had to be that way, not when 90 percent of Latter-day Saint millennials say they believe in God and 82 percent feel his presence each week, according to research by Jana Riess and Benjamin Knoll.
The biggest issue, Ostler and Ferrell said, is thatLatter-day Saint millennials are misunderstood. After years of service, they offered 10 ways that older Latter-day Saints can connect with their younger counterparts.
Ostler's five suggestions:
Listen without trying to turn the conversation to your expertise.
Ostler said he conducted interviews by sitting on the same side of the desk, face to face and knee to knee with the millennials he served. Then he listened.
"As they shared their thoughts, I tried not to go into fix-it mode," he said. "I wrote impressions, but I wouldn't share them until later."
Millennials told Riess the top reason they stop attending church is feeling judged or misunderstood. Ostler said active listening helps them feel understood and validated.
Recognize that millennial members are better wired to see people on the margins.
"They are wired to see the world the way Christ does," Ostler said. "They see him in the scriptures helping all those on the margins. They think, how can our gospel or church first reach the people on the margins, those with tattoos or the divorced or people of other races, etc.? They say, 'He would see them first and want to make them feel welcomed.'"
Practically, Ostler responded by following the counsel of Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, who said, "There are no height requirements' to attend church."
"I decided to do what I could to make our congregation a safe place for everyone. I wanted everyone to feel like, 'I'm good enough to be here, and I belong.' Belonging is different than fitting in. You are accepted for who you are. It includes people whose testimonies are 'I hope' and 'I believe' and not just 'I know."