The prayer in my heart didn’t keep me from fumbling and stumbling, trying to put words to all that I was feeling. I only hoped that the clumsy flow of emotion and fractured thoughts could be understood. I know. I care. I’m sorry it’s so hard.
Ben didn’t say much, and I fear I said too much. I wish I’d asked more questions, sought to understand more of how he feels about everything. We were able to talk a little about some of our different views about God and religion. In the end, all of my weakness aside, though, I think he knew I meant it when I said, “If you want a place at church, I want you to know you have a place by me.” I gave him a hug, and I left.
It wasn’t pretty. It was pretty embarrassing, actually. I was so nervous, afraid I’d said the wrong thing. And I probably did at times throughout the conversation.