Ask Dr. Elia: How can I best help my husband overcome online porn? Part 1

Dear Dr. Elia,

I've read several of your articles on internet addiction, and it sounds like you've also worked with spouses of addicts. I'm sure I'm not alone in asking you this, but how can I help my husband who struggles with a pornography addicition? I've talked to a lot of women who are in a similar position, but we often disagree as to what's the best approach. I know it's not my problem, but it does affect my (and my children's) lives in many ways. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

"Nancy"

Dear Nancy,

You're right in that over the years I have worked with many Internet addicts as well as their spouses. You pose a great question, and the truth is that there isn't a "one size fits all" answer. First off, I like the fact that you know this is not your problem to solve. Far too many women feel like if they could somehow have done things differently, for example if they dressed sexier or were more available in the bedroom, then their husbands wouldn't be looking at pornography. There are also many husbands who will try to make their wives feel responsible for the issue. It is one of the symptoms of addiction for the addict to try and blame someone else for their problems.

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