This language, the Language of Recovery, is based on five powerful keys that combine the latest clinical knowledge with gospel understanding on effectively treating those caught in the trap of pornography addiction and providing education to those who want to help.
In my past articles, the keys to this new language have been introduced: 1. Acknowledgment 2. Surrender 3. Awareness 4. Mindfulness 5. Faith. At first glance these five keys may sound simplistic, but there is a depth and breadth to them that can only be discovered as one begins to practice them daily. The focus of this article is on key number 3, awareness.
One of the greatest illusions of life is that the present moment is not the critical, decisive moment. This is why awareness is one of the major keys in the Language of Recovery. In recovery work of any kind, it is critical to ingrain that this next moment, the next hour is the critical one, the decisive one. The problem is that most of us aren’t aware enough to even notice it. Most of us tend to drift through life and might think that we can take care of certain issues later on. Such thinking can lead to trouble. By increasing our awareness to what is always going on around us, we can find safety and shelter from the ongoing storms of life.
Really, the only time we ever have is the present moment. The past is gone forever and we cannot call it back. We cannot change what has already happened. The future is just a concept—it never really comes. Thus, the only time we will ever possess is right now. Perhaps this is what led Albert Einstein to state, “For us physicists believe the separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, although a convincing one.”
Learning that reality—the now—is all we ever have or ever will have can change the focus of everything we do. Such awareness can give one strength to cut through the illusion that addictive activities will bring one peace. One can learn to confront addictive triggers by asking certain questions when they are triggered to act out inappropriately. We call these questions the Ten Commandment Questions of Relapse Prevention:
1) Will acting on this temptation bring me long-term satisfaction or instant gratification?
2) What will be the end result if I act on this temptation?
3) If I choose to act on this temptation will it make my life better or worse?
4) Do I take 100 percent responsibility for my own actions, or do I blame others and make excuses?
5) Can the addicted part of my brain force me to act out against my will?
6) Is there a part of me that wants to walk away from this?
7) Can I choose to follow that part that wants to walk away?
8) Is there a feeling of peace that will come to me if I walk away?
9) Would I feel better about myself tomorrow if I didn’t act out today?
10) Will I honor the rational part of my brain that is encouraging me to walk away from this temptation?
Remember that one of the greatest illusions of life is that the present moment is not the critical, decisive moment. Write it on your heart that now is the only time you will ever have. Such awareness changes everything.
This article is sponsored by Inner Gold. For more information on the Language of Recovery go to Innergold.com.