During most of those years, I never really felt capable. In fact, I felt completely incapable. I seemed so far away from what I imagined a bishop should be. My desk was messy. I drink too much diet Dr. Pepper. We struggled to have family home evenings. Other bishops in the stake seemed so much more qualified.
In addition to feeling unqualified, being a bishop was difficult. A bishop is on-call 24-7-365 for crises spiritual, temporal, and emotional. It is exhausting, physically and emotionally.
There were so many hard days and hard problems: welfare, divorce, discipline. Watching people hurting them themselves and their loved ones is a difficult and lonely burden to bear.