Courting Myself

“I want to conclude this message by saying if the focus of your life and all your subsequent activities in life are not pointing towards marriage, then you are sinning…” I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. I quietly shifted in the uncomfortable church pew and glanced at my best friend, Anna, to see her reaction to this statement. Her face mirrored mine: the obvious “did-he-really-just-say-that?” mixed with frustration, guilt, and sadness, with a hint of “what’s-wrong-with-me?” lying just below the surface. I sighed and turned to not-so-subtly look at the reactions of my fellow student ward members. There were a lot of looks similar to mine and Anna’s as well a lot of restless shifting in the pews, as if focusing on finding a more comfortable position on the hard benches would erase the sting of that last statement. The bishop’s remarks were quickly followed by the closing song and prayer. The typical post-meeting chatter after the final “Amen” was a little more subdued than usual. I couldn’t help but wondered if other people were mulling over the same questions in their minds as I was: “Sinning, really?!?!” “Am I doing enough?” “Am I doing my best?” “Is my best good enough?” “What if I never get married?” “Why am I not married?” And, of course, the questions that rocks all single people at some point in their lives, “What’s wrong with me?”

Over the next week, I spent most of my mental energy thinking about the things my bishop had said.

Read the rest of this story at segullah.org/blog/
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