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Dave's Thoughts on Pre-nuptual Agreements

by | Sep. 21, 2010

Finances

Dear Dave,

My fiancé is from a wealthy family. The other day, her father suggested a pre-nuptial agreement. I’m not sure what to think about this. What’s your opinion on pre-nups?

Jeremy

Dear Jeremy,

It sounds like her family values its money more than it values their relationship with you. That could be a problem. If your bride-to-be feels the same way, then you shouldn’t marry her. In most cases there’s just a really bad spirit that goes along with pre-nups. It’s basically planning your divorce in advance. And in most cases, what you set your eyes on is what you’ll end up getting. One of my daughters just got married, and I never even thought of suggesting a pre-nuptial agreement.

There may be one exception to this rule. If you’re fiancé was already wealthy on her own, I might change my answer. Extreme wealth has a tendency to attract a whole lot of weirdness and dishonesty. I’ve even gone so far as to tell my wife to get a pre-nup if I die and she marries again. This is different than just the potential to be wealthy, like your case.

You can still have a wonderful marriage, even if you don’t see eye-to-eye with her family on this. But both of you need to be on the same page and of one mind. That’s why I think it would be a really good idea for you guys to address this before the wedding with a heart-to-heart talk and some pre-marital counseling!

— Dave

* For more financial help please visit daveramsey.com.

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