We've all had those moments sitting in sacrament meeting or watching general conference when we open our hymn book and suddenly realize a Church song we thought we knew really doesn't mention toilet paper, elephants, or badgers eating squirrels. We've just heard it wrong all along.
We reached out to our readers on Facebook to see what hymn lyrics they've misheard, and we received over 200 comments! Here are some highlights from these funny hymn mix-ups that are too good not to share:
"High on the Mountain Top"
"When he was little, my Dad thought the words were, 'High on a mountain top, a badger killed a squirrel. Ye Nations now look up, he waves to all the world.' I picture a badger standing on top of a dead squirrel at the top of a mountain every time I hear that song." -Lissa V. Mumford
"High on the mountain top, A banner is unfurled. Ye nations, now look up; It waves to all the world."
"Dearest Children, God Is Near You"
"My cousin Beverly Ririe has a hilarious one. As a child she thought it said, 'cherries hurt you' instead of 'cherish virtue.'" -Kathryn Raphael
"Cherish virtue! Cherish virtue!"
"We’ll Sing All Hail to Jesus’ Name"
"When my in-laws joined the Church they really thought the first few times that people were 'singing all hell to Jesus' name.'" -Joy Kristen Allen
"We’ll sing all hail to Jesus’ name."
"Come, Come Ye Saints"
"Come, come ye saints! No toilet paper here!" -Cassandra Rowley
"Come, come, ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear."
"Lord, I Would Follow Thee"
"'Find in thee my strength, my bacon.' There was a time when I was going through a very hard time and this hymn always made me ugly cry!! So every time we sang it, I was a total emotional wreck. . . . But then one time I literally heard the congregation say bacon!! So there I was like a crazy woman crying and laughing at the same time." -Iracema Pell Schaver
"Find in thee my strength, my beacon."
"Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel"
"We all have work, so don't be a jerk, Put your shoulder to the wheel." -Serena Kay Latimer Young
"Put your shoulder to the wheel, push along. If the wheel goes in reverse, you won't live long!" -Anonymous
"We all have shirts, but no one works." -Greg Sears
"Butcher shoulder to the wheel." -Cassandra Rowley
"Put your shoulder to the wheel; push along, Do your duty with a heart full of song, We all have work; let no one shirk. Put your shoulder to the wheel."
"Praise to the Man"
"When I was younger, I thought we were singing, 'When appeared two Heavenly Beans.' I pictured limas on a cloud." -Tami Allred Patterson
"My youngest used to sing, 'Praise to the man who confused with Jehovah.'" -Natalie Cheetham Martin
"My daughter always sings 'Praise to the Man' and she sings 'Traitors and Titans still fight him in vain!' She is sure she is right AND she says it makes sense because the prophet could totally fight the Titans." -Janice Aarabi
"When appeared two heavenly beings, God the Father and the Son."
"Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah."
"Traitors and tyrants now fight him in vain."
"While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks"
"While shepherds washed their socks by night all seated on the ground, the angel of the Lord came and passed the soap around." -Suzanne Malmberg Douglas
"While shepherds watch’d their flocks by night, All seated on the ground, The angel of the Lord came down, And glory shone around."
"America the Beautiful"
"O Holy Night"
"Love One Another"
"When I was little I thought 'by this shall men know, ye are my disciples' in 'Love One Another' was a Hebrew phrase 'shalmeno.'" -Jeanette Meyers
"By this shall men know, Ye are my disciples, If ye have love, One to another."
"Away in a Manger"
"The cattle are lowing, the poor baby wakes."
"The Spirit of God"
"Hosanna, hosanna to God and the Lamb!"
"My Country, 'Tis of Thee"
"My Country 'tis of thee sweet land of liberty, a flea I see." -Anonymous
"My country, 'tis of thee, Sweet land of liberty, Of thee I sing."
"Stars Were Gleaming"
"Star Wars gleaming, shepherds screaming." -Trish Strebel Mercer
"Ah that singing, hear it ringing, earthworms leaning, Christmas bringing." -Kimberly Bower
"Stars were gleaming, shepherds dreaming."
"Ah, that singing! Hear it ringing, Earthward winging, Christmas bringing!"
"Love at Home"
"In our house 'Love Fat Gnomes' replaces 'Love At Home.'" -Marilyn West
"There is beauty all around, when there is no one home!" -Robbie Baumgardner Stone
"There is beauty all around, When there's love at home."
"Jesus, Once of Humble Birth"
"Jesus wants a humble bird." -Dixie Shumway Maestas
"Count Your Blessings"
"Called to Serve"
"We Are All Enlisted"
"Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam"
"Jesus wants me for a sunbeam."
"The Thirteenth Article of Faith"
"We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men."
"The Church of Jesus Christ"
"I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints."
"I Am a Child of God"
"Has given me an ice cream cone, from parents kind and dear!" -Anonymous
"Has given me an earthly home, with carrots kind and dear!" -Anonymous
"I always heard, 'I am a child of God, and he has sent me ears.'" -Dynette Erbe
"Teach me all that I'm a stew to live with Him someday."
"When my second daughter was three she used to sing 'I am a child of God and so my knees are grey.' At first I thought it was cute/funny, but then I thought it was fitting. Our knees should be grey from talking to our Heavenly Father." -Laura Hotchkiss Gordon
"My eldest son when he was 2 years old, he'd sing, 'I am a child of Gold.'" -Rima Singia
"I am a child of God, And He has sent me here."
"Teach me all that I must do, To live with Him someday."
"I am a child of God, And so my needs are great."
"My niece came home from Primary one day and told her mom . . . that they sang about Santa in Primary. Her mom said, 'Are you sure you sang about Santa?' 'Yes, it said 'Oh Santa, oh Santa all hail triumphant King'. . . I love kids." -Leslee Bushell Coates
"Hosanna! Hosanna! All hail, triumphant King!"
"A very young Primary kid in our ward once asked his mum what 'crap' means. His mum asked where he heard it. He said in Primary, in the song that ends like this 'but I have to be hinges or else I would crap!'" -Heart Peroy-Rabacal
"But I have to be hinges, or else I would crack!"
"Little Purple Pansies"
"'Little purple panties touched with yellow gold.' I used to wonder why we were singing about underwear in Primary and how embarrassing, the yellow part!" -Leslie Legge Dannelly
"Little purple pansies, touched with yellow gold."
"When I Am Baptized"
"In the Baptism song, a few of our daughters thought it said, 'I know when I am baptized my arms are washed away.' Scary thought for them." -Teri Andy Wariner
"I know when I am baptized my lungs are washed away." -Julie Hornbeck Sintay
"I know when I am baptized my wrongs are washed away."
"When He Comes Again"
"Because he said in days gone by, 'Suffer them to come to me.'”
"I Hope They Call Me on a Mission"
"I ALWAYS WONDERED about a three or for legged missionary!" -Bonnie McBride
"When our son was little he sang, 'I hope they call me on a mission when I have got to 42.'" -Pat Crisp
"To teach and preach and work like missionary stew." -Ginger O'Gaffney
"I hope they call me on a mission, When I have grown a foot or two."
"To teach and preach and work as missionaries do."
"Follow the Prophet"
"Book of Mormon Stories"
"You’ve Had a Birthday"
"We’ll Bring the World His Truth"
"In the Leafy Treetops"
These might not be official hymns or Primary songs, but they are too great not to mention:
"My neighbor taught me a song from her church—'Gladly the Cross I'd Bear'—I thought it was about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly!" -Mareen Layton
"Eternal marriage. Primary child asked, 'Turtle marriage?'" -KC Harding
Have you ever heard (or misheard!) a funny hymn or primary song lyric? Let us know in the comments!