Johnny Lingo is a 1969 LDS film. In Johnny Lingo, Mahana is a young woman who is constantly told she is ugly, she believes she is ugly and she appears to be ugly. Once her suitor is willing to pay an unprecedented 8 cows for her to become his bride, she becomes beautiful in appearance.
"Mahana You Ugly!" The first time someone said that to me, I was not laughing. In fact, I was preparing to open up a can of whoop-fast. Luckily just before his face hit the pavement, someone mentioned something about a movie (assault charge averted). The first time someone called me an 8-cow woman, they had 8 seconds to explain to me why they had just called me a heifer. Something was said about "Johnny Lingo" and I think they took off running. About 5 years ago I finally saw the movie Johnny Lingo, and that person had it twisted, I am a million-cow woman! For all of you who learned the hard way that not everyone has seen this movie, I feel for you. For those of you out there who have never seen this movie, please know that if you ever find yourself trying to figure out if a Mormon has just referred to you as an ugly cow, they may have actually been trying to give you a compliment.
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