This “list” became a great source of sorrow for me, as I unwisely tucked the “list” into my scriptures and reflected upon it, and my many imperfections, for the next 5 years or so. I shed so many tears and prayers over this stupid list! I think I even made copies and handed it out to others, thus spreading the dysfunction! So Sorry! If I could go back into my fantasy time machine, I would snatched those stupid handouts out of the instructor’s briefcase, before they ended up in my hands, and toss them in the trash where they belong! My quest for Toxic Perfectionism only led to unhappiness and dissatisfaction. I later discovered happiness was attainable when I accepted that G-d loved me, even in my imperfect state, and Jesus was my Savior, not some ridiculous list. I had not yet learned to let go of perfectionism, in order to struggle for true excellence. I was not learning how to follow Him.
If I had access to a time machine, I would go back 20 + years in my life and change a moment that took 5+ years out of my life. I was a young working wife and mother trying the best of my ability to live the gospel. Having grown up in the Mormon culture, I was well acquainted with shaming perfectionistic standards. While sitting in a lesson in Sunday school, a lengthy to-do list to obtain a place in the Celestial Kingdom was passed out to the class.
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