- Betrayal of marriage vows to "forsake all others"
- Confusion over how video images and pictures became more important than marriage, family, church or career
- Anger at the lies, the secrecy and the emotional abandonment that is minimized or unacknowledged
- Fear of who will find out
- Isolation in not knowing where to turn
- Hopelessness that the marriage can ever be salvaged
The secrets are about where they go, how they spend their time, why they stay so late or go so early to work, why they have to have wireless Internet access wherever they go.