If you look at porn, you’ve probably realized by now that beating yourself up about it doesn’t really help anything. Sometimes feeling ashamed just makes it worse.
One major observation I have made is that a person doesn’t “quit” porn simply by stopping it, or avoiding it. Yes, those two things seem like common-sense solutions when trying to kick the habit, but they rarely actually work. There are multiple reasons why:
1. Merely discontinuing a bad habit does not remedy, or even address, what’s causing the bad habit.
2. Adjustments to thoughts and feelings usually precede changes in behavior. Behavior is just the tip of the iceberg.
3. Quitting one thing usually isn’t enough change. Often entire routines have to be switched up, with multiple new positive habits thrown in the mix
4. We get nowhere in life by simply avoiding the bad. NOT doing something bad does not equal doing something good.
A big mistake that a lot of Mormons make – and I assume those of other faith traditions make also – is thinking that NOT BREAKING RULES is equivalent to living righteously. We get the idea that we are making all this progress by merely not doing a bunch of stuff.
Don’t Quit Something – Start something!