Because mostly, it seems that I go for me.
I do like to think about the woman I’m doing ordinance work for. I like to think about her—I wonder what she’s like, if she’s there with me, if we’ll someday meet and connect in a heart to heart way I can’t fathom mortally. I wonder if she’s been waiting. If she knows something I don’t know, and if she’ll whisper it to me in my reverence.
But initially, as I head out every week, I’m going for something more: for an enlarged perspective. For understanding about temple work. For comfort. And assurance. And for some glorious epiphany that sometimes comes later, on my drive home or while writing in my journal—or sometimes never. Sometimes I go wondering what I’ll get out of it. Sometimes I go with a specific question in my heart. Sometimes I just go because it’s time to go.