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Stop Looking for a Soul Mate, Says BYU Professor

by | Aug. 20, 2015

Mormon Life

MR says: Are you still looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right? You won't want to miss this great advice about how we can all find something much more romantic and lasting than a soul mate.

For related reading, check out "One Big Reason Young Mormons Are Afraid of Marriage (And How to Fix It)"  or "Love Lessons from the Prophets & Their Wives."

One way to cause problems in a marriage before it even begins is to go looking for a soul mate.

That's according to Scott Braithwaite, who spoke Tuesday at BYU's Campus Education Week on “Who Decides Whom We Marry?”

Braithwaite, an assistant professor of psychology at BYU, taught that happiness in marriage comes as people accept the responsibility of choosing their spouse for themselves. He emphasized that eternal marriage is essential to the plan of salvation and that husbands and wives work together to gain exaltation.

Marriage has eternal consequences, so who to marry is one of the most important decisions people can make. However, Braithwaite continued, the Lord will not make that decision for them. The idea of soul mates, that there is one person perfectly suited for one other person, is false, said Braithwaite, who backed this claim with words from President Spencer W. Kimball.

“‘Soul mates’ are fiction and an illusion …,” President Kimball said in a 1977 address. “Almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.”


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For more on how to find true, eternal love in your life, check out this insightful book, Love Is a Choice

We all know that actions speak louder than words. We may say “I love you,” but do our actions back up that claim? Elder Lynn G. Robbins teaches us that love is more than a feeling — it is a commitment, a promise to be responsible, respectful, and responsive to the needs and experiences of other. And like any other action we undertake, perfecting the act of love requires a lifetime of practice and good choices.

Available at deseretbook.com.


Lead image from Deseret News.
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