The last few months of my mission changed my relationship to God in a very unexpected way. That’s when it seemed to me God decided to go home early while I finished my full two years. I noticed God’s absence most during personal prayer. What formerly seemed like a welcome opportunity to express gratitude and ask for assistance, or like an intimate confession or reunion, became to me like speaking alone to a bare ceiling.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…
A subtle shift. After a few weeks of my anxiety-inducing attempts to receive some sort of obvious sign that God had returned, my thoughts snuck in questions about whether he was there before at all. I resisted the thought that I could have been wrong about God.