5. Stephenie Meyer.
In case you’ve been living in an abandoned missile silo over the last five years, Stephenie Meyer is the most popular Mormon author since Moroni and is the one responsible for injecting the term “Team Edward” into our daily conversations. THANKS A LOT. She also invented glittering emo vampires.
A lot of people think that her books are terrible. They might be right, but Orson Scott Card thinks she’s a genius. How about this: you get to complain about Stephenie’s lack of talent after YOU’VE sold over 100 million copies of your books and had them translated into 37 different languages. Her husband, “Pancho,” has ‘retired’ to take care of the kids. So now even the more traditional Mormon can hate Stephenie, if only for this obvious perversion of the Right Way to Raise Children (TM).