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How I Became Closer to God After My Suicide Attempt

"I could feel a part of me craving a hug from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I was so ready for that kind of love. I realize now, that feeling was Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ trying to comfort me and be there for me," Ashley Richards remembers the night she attempted suicide for the last time. 

Ever since I can remember I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression. There were a few times where my body was in so much pain because of it and fear would completely take over. I would just fall on the floor, crying. I would lay for a minute but I would struggle to breathe. I would try standing up again but there was so much panic I would fall right back down. It got to the point where I could only crawl, or I would be on the floor rocking myself back and forth just screaming. No matter what I did I couldn’t relax or calm down. After going through that so many times I started spending at least an hour every day thinking how I was going to end my life and when would be the right time for my family.

I didn’t have the nerve to go through with anything until I started spending time with other people who were struggling. I started getting involved with boys, alcohol, and drugs. I tried finding comfort down a path that was giving me the complete opposite. Eventually, I started acting on those suicidal thoughts.

After high school things got a little better. I didn’t have anxiety attacks or bad thoughts as often until I got back into bad habits and old friends. It went downhill very quickly from there, which led me to the last day I tried to take my life. This was also the day I realized I needed Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in my life and I needed their help.

Lead image from Ruby Girl.
Read the rest of this story at rubygirl.org
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