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Can Two Families Survive
Under One Roof?
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 Two boats, a fish, an octopus and a ladybug went for a swim. They swam down my mother-in-law’s toilet, along with a few other bath toys. They swirled, and my two-year-old nephew surely squealed, as he flushed and flushed, until the toilet would flush no more.
Under normal circumstances, a stopped toilet is a major inconvenience. However, the situation at my mother-in-law’s home made a normal disruption a near catastrophe. Her home resembled a hotel with all of the family living there temporarily: two nephews, two daughters-in-law, a son, three grandchildren, and her husband, who deserved great pity for letting so many people stay in his home. As I watched my husband’s futile attempts to dislodge the toys, I thought about the generosity of my in-laws.
My husband, Mark, and I moved in for the two months it would take to complete a home we were building, adding even more chaos to an already bustling and bursting home. Yet when we asked my in-laws if we could move in, they didn’t bat an eyelash. “We could stand on our heads for two months if we had to,” was my mother in law’s reply when I expressed concerns about burdening them further. I have no doubt she would stand on her head if one of her family members asked her to.
Living in such circumstances, surrounded by family, I learned many important lessons as well as some practical advice for those in a similar situation.
Serve others
The first is that the greatest service opportunities happen in the home. For example, while we were living with my in-laws, almost every family member got sick. Just as one person would recover, another would start showing the same symptoms. There were endless opportunities to help sick people, watch kids, cook dinners, clean, counsel, console, advise, and encourage. The more we served each other, the happier the home became.
Look for ways to serve your family members. Make it personal to their needs, and they will likely serve in return. One particularly stressful night I came home to a bouquet of flowers from my sister-in-law, along with an uplifting note. Every time I looked at the flowers, I felt better. It was a simple act, but it made me feel closer to my sister-in-law. When we were actively looking for chances to lighten one another’s burdens, a spirit of love permeated the home. On the other hand, if we let our selfish desires surface, disharmony resulted.
Resolve differences
When family members argue, no one wins. In a home with so many people there was bound to be occasional contention. There were at least ten different opinions on everything from disciplining children to what to make for dinner, and how to load the dishwasher. What I discovered was that very few things are actually worth getting upset over. Honest communication is the solution to misunderstandings.
“Contention builds up walls and puts up barriers,” says Elder Marvin J. Ashton of the Council of the Twelve (Ensign, May 1978). “Love opens doors.” Communicating in a spirit of love resolves differences.
I learned from my sister-in-law that beating around the bush is not as effective as being forthright in our feelings. Also, rather than taking offense at minor disturbances or annoyances, peace is more easily achieved with acceptance and forgiveness. Additionally, a focus on the positive aspects of each family member is much more productive to happiness than dwelling on negative or difficult characteristics.
Express Gratitude
One of the antidotes to contention, as well as another key to family harmony, is showing sincere gratitude. For some reason it is easy to take our families for granted. We come to expect members of the family to perform certain tasks, and in the process, often forget to thank them for what they do. In the February 2000 Ensign, President Thomas S. Monson says of gratitude, “If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.”
>> Click here for entire article
By Gretchen Willard Nov/Dec issue
>> Click here for information about LDS Living Magazine
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 The Choirs of BYU: The Road Home CD
The legendary choral textures of the various BYU choirs are showcased in this beautiful new collection of favorite melodies centered around the idea of home. Produced by directors Ronald Staheli and Rosalind Hall, The Road Home features the Concert Choir, University Singers, Men's Chorus and Women's Chorus, and in some cases all the choirs combined into a majestic grand chorus.
>> CLICK HERE
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The Three Nephites
This powerful, interesting book provides answers about the mission, purpose and activities of the Three Nephites. The book also shares well-documented visits with both the Three Nephites and other translated beings. Though there have been many translated beings, none seem to have captured the interest and intrigue of the Latter-day Saint people as have the Three Nephites.
>> CLICK HERE
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