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"Besides, without the infamous stages kids go through, we might not have interesting stories to tell their future spouses."
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As parents recognize stages for what they are, children will abandon them more quickly and agreeably. Here’s a look into what you can do to make it a pleasant process.
Play it Down: Don’t Reinforce the Big Deal
Tears of frustration and despair would run down my younger sister’s face when my mom would do her hair in elementary school. The tears were not because she did not like her hair done; in fact, quite the opposite was true. She would cry because she demanded the perfect hairdo. She would refuse to go to her first-grade class unless her hair was impeccably smooth, with every hair in flawless contour. My mother spent hours redoing ponytails to make her happy. When the siblings would say anything, my mom would say, “She’ll grow out of it. It’s just a stage.” She did grow out of it and is now so pretty she could do her hair with an eggbeater and still look great.
When I was four years old I had a terrible habit of licking my little lips until they were raw. My mom would apply layers and layers of lip balm and remind me not to lick them. However, I continued to lick them the entire year. But of course, “It was just a stage.”
Give Kids Time to Grow Up
We often think our children’s behavior is incorrigible, but the phrase “It’s just a stage” helps us remember that some behaviors are not permanent.
My second son, like most other two-year-olds, is a triumphant tantrum thrower. He will get upset, stop what he is doing, and begin to howl. Then his chubby little legs will carry him forward a few steps, and he’ll throw himself mercilessly on the ground, always a martyr for his cause.
The latest tantrum occurred when we were attending regional conference in the Marriott Center at BYU, where Elder M. Russell Ballard was speaking. My son started bawling so my husband quickly stood to take him out and end the scene. But my son had a sandwich bag full of cereal, which he began to jerk back and forth. The cereal in the bag sprayed four rows in front of us and four rows behind us.
View the complete article here >
by Tamara A. Fackrell - LDS Living Magazine Jan/Feb Issue
Learn more about LDS Living Magazine >
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Short & Simple
News, Musings, and Other Interesting Tidbits
"5 Ways to Build Your Child's Self-Esteem"
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They won’t be your little babies forever. Your children are slowly becoming men and women before your eyes. You see their potential, but sometimes they don’t. Don’t worry. Here are several ways you can help build your children’s self esteem:
- Be a good role model. If you want your children to have confidence, have confidence in yourself. The positive attitudes you have about yourself can create a home environment of confidence, where creativity and curiosity are encouraged.
- Be realistic in your expectations. You might have dreams for your children that are completely different from their own. Let them develop their own unique talents and set their own goals. Have reasonable expectations.
- Praise every accomplishment and applaud every effort. No matter how big or small, sincerely praise your children for their every accomplishment. But just as important is to praise your children for their sincere efforts. Children can—and do—often learn the most from their failures.
- Avoid rescuing. Your children are going to have problems just like everybody else. Give them a chance to work them out on their own. They will gain confidence as they realize they are mature and responsible enough to solve their own problems.
- Show respect and love. It is important that your children feel like they are irreplaceable in your family and that they have your respect. Be careful what you say. When there’s a need to correct your children, make sure your comments are focused on behavior. If you just accuse your children of something, they will become defensive and critical.
For more great helpful hints, check out the Jan/Feb issue of LDS Living Magazine
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