Why I’m so grateful someone pushed through awkwardness to serve

On the day that I defended my doctoral dissertation, I went to the Mesa Arizona Temple to express gratitude for the divine help I had felt throughout my academic journey. I was also interested in mapping out what would be next for my life. I had accepted a position to teach at Brigham Young University and was anticipating a move to Utah. I felt like it was a new beginning. I sensed that my life had a clean slate of sorts. Further, I had the words of the previous general conference resonating in my mind and heart. In particular, the teachings of Elder Dallin H. Oaks were profoundly penetrating my heart:

I was a stay-at-home mom for seven years. Then I became a full-time working mom with an unemployed husband and two children at home (and I continue to work full-time now as a single mother). Having experienced motherhood from both sides, I understand the challenges each set of circumstances presents. Neither situation is easy, and insensitive comments can make things even harder. So, here it is: my personal list of things not to say to stay-at-home moms.

A great number of righteous men and women from the Old Testament and Book of Mormon, including prophets, priests, kings, and others, served as types and shadows of Jesus Christ. Their personal purity and righteousness, as well as events in their lives, foreshadowed Jesus’ righteousness and his works. The parallels between these individuals and Christ are so striking that these persons “were types and shadows of our Lord’s coming; they were living, walking, breathing Messianic prophecies.”1 Elder Jeffrey R. Holland wrote: “Jehovah used an abundance of archetypes and symbols. Indeed, these have always been a conspicuous characteristic of the Lord’s instruction to his children. Examples of those figures—especially prefigurations of Christ—are present throughout the pre-Messianic record. . . .

I remember many years ago, long before I had children, attending a religious lecture by a prominent religious scholar who taught at BYU. The topic of the lecture was agency. During the lecture, this religious professor indicated that most LDS parents only want their kids to get to a level three in personal faith development and not a level five. As soon as he said this, there was a rumble of protest in the audience, implying, “Of course we want our kids to get to level five.” Then the presenter went on to explain what he meant by a level five: "Level five means that you have the faith to allow your kids to find their own paths, to find their own testimonies, to ask hard questions, to wonder what they feel, struggle with personal beliefs, and on some occasions even choose to believe differently than you do.”

At a time in my marriage when everything seemed to be colliding—family differences, work pressures, stressful finances, hectic schedules, health problems—I found myself rolling my eyes, grumbling, or snapping at my husband far too often. I felt stretched thin, kept at my maximum stress threshold, and any tipping of the scales sent everything crashing down on the both of us.

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When it comes to making big decisions, finding answers to questions, or searching for solutions, we know that seeking revelation is vital. But sometimes as we are pondering and seeking, we find that instead we are overthinking and worrying. Our fears and anxieties dominate our thoughts, and worries spiral to the point that we are unable to receive the heavenly direction we need.

Steve Young never backs down from a challenge. In fact, his tenacity is the hallmark of his football career and every other aspect of his life. From tirelessly perfecting his game to earning a law degree from BYU while in the NFL (which even required him to attend class the day after his 1994 Super Bowl victory) to enduring years of criticism while he searched for “the one” to marry, Young has never hesitated to do the work required to achieve his goals.

Whether you're preparing to receive your patriarchal blessing or are looking for new perspective as you study yours, these resources offer wonderful suggestions and advice to help you navigate and understand the counsel God has for you.