Orson Scott Card: Dating with a purpose

To the unmarried young men of the church: If movie/dinner/dance is the axis of pointlessness in dating, what kind of date is useful in helping discover who would make a good wife for you?

I have little patience, I'm afraid, with "creative dates" — you know, the kind where your friend dresses up in a tux and serves KFC chicken to you and your date on fine china on a card table in the median strip of a highway.

To me, dates like that seem like showing off. It's about the public display of "creativity," not about getting to know the other person.

In fact, you'd better be sure that the young woman you're "treating" to this experience is not shy. I know plenty of women to whom such a "date" would be the rough equivalent of an hour or two in hell.

A useful date is not a show you put on to impress a girl. It's one where the two of you have a significant task to perform together. Something real, in which your cooperation is essential. Bungee-jumping does not qualify.

When I got home from my mission, my first date was with the woman I ended up marrying. Yet it took 3½ years to get from A to B. Part of the delay was because we were both trapped in the dating mindset.

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