When Your Child Rejects Your Religion: Do's and Don'ts

Kim Giles, a life coach who experienced children rejecting her beliefs first-hand, shared her insights into how parents should respond in such situations:

Unconditional love is always the answer.

Unconditional love means you edify, honor, cherish and respect him, right where he is right now. It means you see him as the same as you (not as someone who is bad or wrong in any way) and allow him to find his way in life.

Here are some principles which helped us to understand our options.

Principle 1: There are only two states from which you can to respond to any situation. You can respond from love(focused on honoring, edifying and validating the other person) or you can respond from fear (focused on what you need). Every possible response fits into these two categories.

Read more here.

Recently, someone wrote to Giles who was still struggling with the heartbreak of having her daughter admit she no longer believes in God. Giles shared the sweet advice below:

If you are still experiencing sadness, anger and panic, are pulling back and even struggling to spend time with your daughter — you are still coming from fear, not love. I understand why this situation is triggering this fear of loss and failure in you. I really do, but those emotions aren't doing you or your child any good and they may make the situation worse.

In the other article on this I explained why unconditional love is the answer when a loved one rejects your religion. The problem is that as long as you are entrenched in fear, you aren't capable of love.

If you can't change your perspective and get out of fear, your child is going to see you and your religion as unloving. It isn't and you know that you're scared because you love her so much, but your fear energy could make her pull even farther away. You cannot let your fear be bigger than your love.

Lead image from KSL.

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For more on this topic, check out Robin Zenger Baker's book Finding Peace When a Child Chooses Another Path or Robert L. Millet's When A Child Wanders.

Read the rest of this story at ksl.com
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