When things go very wrong with a pregnancy

My name is Stephanie and I am a convert to the church which I joined at almost 20. Having children and raising a family had always been one of my great wishes. In 2002, my husband and I had decided to have another baby with the other two we had. This was just before Christmas. I remember taking my temperature and telling my husband the ‘day’ would be January 8. Indeed it was, and I waited a couple of weeks before doing a pregnancy test at my doctor’s. I remember having mixed feelings and couldn’t quite pinpoint why.

I was really excited to have the 18-week scan done. I guess our main concern was to decide whether or not we should ask the sex of the baby. Over the course of the ultrasound, I had three different doctors looking at the baby, and I assumed they were not very good at working their machines. It never occurred to me that my baby could be sick. No, not my baby, I was a healthy 25-year-old with two previous perfect pregnancies; how could anything be wrong with my baby? I remember sitting in a small office wondering what kind of problems my baby could have? An extra finger? Down syndrome? What kind of operation would she need? The doctor was really sorry and announced that my baby had some kidney disease and would die at birth, if she even survived until then. Then, I don’t really remember what happened.

I know I saw at least three doctors who all told me different things and was given many choices but I left knowing I had to come back the next day to see a genetic counsellor and discuss a termination.

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