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"My Heart Is Still Hurting": How to Find Peace When Your Adult Child Leaves the Church

by | Feb. 06, 2018

Mormon Life

Having a family member leave the Church can be an emotionally painful experience. However, that doesn't mean this experience is void of being able to teach us Christlike attributes. 

In a recent KSL article, life coach Kim Giles shared some advice to those who have had a family member leave the Church. 

Question:

I just read your article on adult children rejecting the parent’s religion and I agree with what you’re saying, however, my heart is still hurting. I understand my pain is all about me and that I need to just love them, but I can’t help resenting my son and his wife for causing me this pain. He is my only son and I resent his wife taking him away from the way he was raised. I find myself resenting them and not wanting to hang out with them. I don’t want to feel this way, but my heart is so sad that there will not be baby blessings, baptisms and temple marriages for my grandchildren. I'm just not sure how to bridge the gap, stop grieving and feeling so emotional about it. Thank you for any thoughts on this.

► You'll also like: "When a Loved One Leaves the Church: 4 Mistakes to Avoid"

Answer:

First, we want you to choose a perspective about why we are on this planet. Most people feel we are on the planet to do two things: 1. Learn, grow and become the best version of ourselves we can be and 2. To love and serve others and try to make a difference in their lives. We find these two ideas are consistent with most religions and life philosophies.

If you think these two ideas feel like truth to you, you might consider seeing life as a classroom. This philosophy means that everything that shows up in your life is there for one primary reason — to help you learn to love at a higher level.

► You'll also like: "When a Child Leaves the Church"

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