A man I consider a friend, Seth Adam Smith, posted an essay called Marriage is Not for You that has gone seriously viral. Seth shares some advice from his dad that has helped him in his new marriage — advice to not be selfish. It’s excellent advice at the face of it. I also think it’s great how it reminds people that marriage is not supposed to be a selfish pursuit. I like the positive energy around the topic of marriage that has resulted. So yay for that. And yet….
I’ve also seen how the post has left some women who are struggling mightily in their marriages (because of pornography addiction of their husbands or other struggles) feeling frustrated and confused. Of course, it’s just a blog post, but since it has gone so viral, I think it merits a some thoughts on behalf of these women. (Seth did respond to some of the responses, but I still feel like there is something women in this situation need to hear more directly.)