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10 Things Every Newlywed Should Know: Tips from John & Kimberly Bytheway


Live with the gospel in your marriage.

We’ve found that one of the greatest joys of married life is praying together, studying scriptures together, and attending the temple together. These things, when done consistently, allow Christ inside to bless our marriage. These practices are critical in the first year of marriage (and vital for all the years that follow) for a couple of reasons. First of all, you begin a pattern for the rest of your marriage. Second, it’s much harder to feel resentment or unkind feelings toward your spouse when you’re on your knees together at the end of the day. It’s wonderful to be able to thank your Father in Heaven for your spouse and express your love for your partner when he or she is kneeling beside you. . . .

Remember your covenants.

You kiss and make up after a disagreement not just because you love your spouse but because you’ve made a covenant to love your spouse. Sure, love is a feeling, but it’s also a choice, a commitment, and a covenant. . . .

A “temple marriage” indicates a location, but a “celestial marriage” indicates a quality. Your marriage may have been performed in the temple, but only the Lord can make it celestial. The greatest thing you can do for your marriage is be committed to the Lord and his gospel. It’s not just about having an eternal perspective or remembering the plan of salvation. The plan of salvation is your marriage. It’s your personal plan of salvation. Your exaltation is impossible without it. That’s why it deserves so much attention and continued effort. 

We’re encouraged by this quotation from President Spencer W. Kimball: “While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive” (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, pp. 305–6).

President James E. Faust expressed a similar feeling this way: “Happiness in marriage and parenthood can exceed a thousand times any other happiness” (Ensign, November 1977, p. 11).


John & Kimberly Bytheway: 10 Things Every Newlywed Should Know

For more great newlywed advice, check out What We Wish We Would Have Known As Newly Weds at deseretbook.com.