I spent my formative teenage years in the nearly all-Latter-Day-Saint town of Rexburg, Idaho. In this highly sheltered setting my friends and I largely had shared experiences surrounding religion.
We would throw around phrases like, “What are you doing for youth conference this year?” or “What time is mutual over for you?” almost without a second thought.
And the two (literally only two) friends I had that weren’t members of the Church just learned to put up with our Latter-day Saint lingo.
The world has changed a bit since my teenage years. In so many ways, thanks to social media and the internet, it has gotten larger.
Which means even if you live in a city with large Church-member population, your kids are still likely to have regular interactions with others who are not of our faith.
Video conferencing and other forms of technology are now used at home and in schools to connect children across the country.
Families are moving around the world because jobs are more flexible and working from home is more common than ever.
Even kids who are homeschooled are likely participating in real-world community activities and virtual learning opportunities that expose them to people with a rich variety of cultures and backgrounds.
Whether you only know a few people of other faiths, or you live in an area where your child is the only member of the Church in their entire school, odds are conversations about religion and philosophy will come up.
Now, perhaps more than ever, it’s important that our children know how, when, and why they should talk to their friends about God, faith, Jesus Christ, and the Church.
Below are some ideas for helping your kids discuss these important topics with their friends of other faiths:
1. Talk about different faiths in your own home
A simple way to start is by helping our kids see there are lots of different faiths in the world. With the recent addition of Come, Follow Me, we should be having more frequent faith-filled conversations with our children anyway.
So let’s build on that.
In your faith conversations, it’s great to bring up examples of others’ beliefs—instead of shying away from them.
As President Gordon B. Hinckley once said, “We appreciate the truth in all churches and the good which they do.”
We can draw a lot from truths in other religions, and as you bring up names like Judaism, Islam, and Catholic, you might find your kids chiming in about their friends who believe these things.
That can give you a good outlet to answer their questions, and encourage them to love their friends, no matter what they believe.
2. Let your kids know talking about their faith is okay
As members of the Church, we tend to get shy about offending people with talk about religion.
But honestly, good friends will be curious about what you believe at some point.
Letting our kids, young and old, know that it’s fine to talk about the gospel—and it’s also fine to hear about other faiths—can go a long way to easing any discomfort around kids with different backgrounds.
3. Be a good listener
When it comes to your children exploring and learning about other faiths, try not to shut down their questions or curiosity.
If they come home from school wanting to know if our Church believes in the trinity or excited that their good friend also reads the Bible, be excited with them!
And then continue the conversation.
Find scriptures that explain what we believe and help them understand what their friends believe. Help them see how they might answer their friends’ questions.
Be an example of listening well and then turn that into a discussion about how listening to our friends about their faith is just as important as talking to them about ours.
4. Encourage them to stand up for Christ
Sometimes kids are put into not-so-great situations.
The media in today’s world is not always kind to Christians and those same sentiments can leak onto the playground or locker room.
Kids need to know that if they are uncomfortable with what someone is saying about our Church, they can stand up for Christ.
They can talk about how he taught us to be kind and help other people.
Practice this in your own home by using news as a jumping off point to talk about how others may attack our beliefs from time to time.
Talk about things that might be portrayed less than accurately, and show them how you can defend Christ in your own heart and mind. They’ll pick it up from you, and soon they’ll have their own ways of defending their faith.
5. Demonstrate give and take
We are taught in our Sunday meetings that we should spread the gospel, share the Book of Mormon, and invite friends to church. These are all great things, and we should keep doing them! But sometimes I wonder if we’re so focused on sharing what is important to us, we don’t pay attention to what is important to our friends.
If you want your friends to come to church it can be a good idea to visit their church as well. Attending another person’s church is not a sin. If you invite them to the primary program don’t be weird about going to their church’s annual Easter egg hunt.
We shouldn’t be afraid of exposing our kids to lots of different points of view.
They will still feel the spirit testifying to them when things are true and when they aren’t.
So go ahead and send your child to Bible study night with their high school teammate. And then be sure you always talk about what they learned at another church so that you can help them discern truth for themselves.
6. Show them friendship doesn’t have to be tied to faith
Being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can feel a bit like an exclusive club. So it can be easy for us to get wrapped up in our social life inside the Church, and never look outside.
Our faith is central to who we are, but there are lots of other things to talk about and do with our friends outside the Church.
When it’s time for a party, reach out to neighbors, family members, PTA parents, and coworkers.
Show your kids what being a good friend outside of the Church looks like. This is so much more powerful than talking about being inclusive.
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles may have put it best recently when he said, "Some who come and see will, perhaps, never join the Church; some will at a later time. That is their choice. But that doesn’t change our love for them. And it doesn’t change our enthusiastic efforts to continue inviting individuals and families to come and see, come and help, and come and stay."
Preston Lee is a Latter-day dad who enjoys learning about other faiths. He also runs a website for people who want to learn to work for themselves. His team teaches them basic skills like how to write an invoice and get paid for work you do from home.