9 Hilarious Stages of Giving a Talk at Church

by | Jan. 17, 2019


Have you ever had to stand in the spotlight at the podium, nervously adjusting the microphone as you try to say something profound and spiritual? You're not alone! Everyone who speaks at a sacrament meeting goes through some variety of these nine funny, and sometimes painful, stages.

1. A few days (or if you're lucky, weeks) before Sunday, a member of the bishopric asks you to speak. You, of course, nonchalantly agree. "You got it, dude."

2. A few days go by, and though you keep telling yourself you've been thinking about it, you still haven't actually started.

3. Saturday night rolls around faster than expected, and you suddenly realize it's crunch time! 

4. You finally finish writing in the wee hours of Sunday morning, confident that your best work happens under pressure.

5. As you walk onto the stand, your confidence slips into nervousness.

6. More people stream into the chapel, turning your nervousness into panic. Oddly enough, the speaker scheduled to talk after you still seems remarkably calm.

7. When it's your turn to speak, you start by awkwardly introducing yourself to a roomful of people who have most likely known you for years.

8. Two sentences in, you realize you don't remember the story that your notes are telling you to share next.

9. Ultimately, you rush through in half the time you planned on, say amen, and hastily retreat back to your seat before breathing a sigh of relief!

Mission accomplished! 

To avoid some of these hilarious stages of giving a talk in sacrament meeting, check out some of the following resources:

- How to Give a Talk Like President Monson

- 8 Tips to Prepare a Stellar Sacrament Meeting Talk

- How We Teach Our Kids to Hate Speaking in Church (Without Meaning To)

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