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[00:00:00] Hello everyone. Before we get into today's episode, I just wanted to give you a heads up that we will be taking a little break for the summer and we will be back in mid-August. We appreciate you listening and hope you'll join us again after all of your summer Fun.

There is nothing I could say that would better introduce this episode than an Instagram post written by Emily Peterson's daughter Eliza on November 10th, 2021.

She wrote In the past five days, my entire world has been turned upside down. Last Friday, my dad went. To the doctor because he had been really tired and a bit imbalanced in the past week. Little things were going wrong, like him forgetting which turn to take while driving, tripping on nothing and not being able to type or write.

Well. Once at the doctor, they immediately sent him to the ER for an MRI on his brain and found out that he has cancer all throughout. The entire right side of his brain. After multiple visits to the doctor, we've found that he has cancer all throughout the entire right side of his brain and at the top of his brainstem.

It is an extremely fast growing and aggressive cancer and a terminal diagnosis. We don't know how long he has, but it is most likely not long. It is to the point where he cannot stand or walk on his own. His. Fine motor skills are shaky and some of his cognition is starting to fade. I was reluctant to post anything but tomorrow afternoon he has a major biopsy in surgery at Huntsman, and I would like to ask all of you to fast or pray for my dad no matter what you believe in or who you are.

Pray that his time with us will be lengthened, that he will be protected during surgery from any harm, that his recovery from the surgery will be full and quick. That the doctors will be guided in being exact and perfect in their performance of the surgery. That our family will be able to feel peace and comfort and that everything will work out.

According to God's plan for our family. I never imagined something like this would happen to my family. My dad is the best person I have ever known. He loves his family with his [00:02:00] whole heart and loves God with his whole heart. He's kind, soft-spoken, loving, and faithful. He has dedicated his life to serving us.

God and those around him. His entire life has been an example to me and so many others around him, and he continues to be that example and show more faith than anyone I have ever known. No matter what happens, I know that God lives and that he loves each one of us. That he is aware of us and by our side each step of the way, and that families can be together forever.

Nathan Peterson passed away on January 5th, 2022. Emily Peterson is the co-founder and CEO of Saranoni . A note from Nathan and Emily Peterson is still on their website and I love it more than any bio, so I'm going to read that instead. We were married in 1997, have six children and love being parents and business owners.

Our lives can be crazy trying to manage kids' chores and homework, getting everyone to lessons and sports practices, and running a business. But we try to embrace the craziness. We spend a lot of late nights working together, talking about blankets, and sharing our hopes for our kids. I dream of a bigger laundry room and traveling to different parts of the world with our children for humanitarian projects.

Nathan dreams of fewer late nights, more family time, and more rounds of golf with the kids. We cherish our faith in our family. We believe in doing the job right? No half. Bake jobs and that we can make a difference in the world as we try to serve others and be a friend. Emily Peterson is the co-founder and CEO of Saranoni .

This is All In an LDS Living podcast where we ask the question, what does it really mean to be all in the gospel of Jesus Christ? I'm Morgan Pearson, and I am so honored to have Emily Peterson on the line with me today. Emily, welcome. Oh, so glad to be here, Morgan. Thanks for having me. Well, I have admired you, Emily, for a [00:04:00] long time.

I, we met years ago and just from a distance in the last few years, I have admired your strength and your testimony and, and you just have such a light about you, you always have. And so I think it's such a treat for me to get to talk with you and to learn from you today. And I am sure our listeners will feel the same way by the time this interview is over.

I wanted to start with how you and your husband Nathan met and what originally attracted you to him, because I feel like this gives us, when I ask a question like this, it gives the ability for us to get to know. You and your husband a little bit better before we get into more of your story. Okay. Well, we actually met on a Friday, but my husband would say that we met on Wednesday and Nathan, I was a temple worker at the Provo Temple, and Nathan was attending a temple session.

And he happened to see me in the temple and he said, he looked and checked out to make sure that I didn't have a ring. And he thought, oh, she's really pretty. I would love to meet her. And he didn't say anything that day. But then two days later we happened to both show up at a stake activity at the ORM Rec Center.

And so, yeah, that's I, he would say we met in the temple. And I would say that now too. I feel like our grandparents, we were both a little bit older and so we feel like our great grandparents were just up there figuring this all out for us. And then we met, um, like I said, at the OR rec center at a stake activity.

Okay. And your married life together. I, I, as I prepared for this interview, Emily, I feel like I've already learned a good amount about you. I knew about Nathan's passing. I knew about how quickly that happened and how devastating that must have been. I, I remember praying for your family. Thank you. But I, I didn't know about.

Some other [00:06:00] things that you all went through as a family, that you had a stillborn baby, is that right? Yes. Yeah. So we have, um, six children, but throughout our marriage we had multiple miscarriages. And as, especially as we got to the, the younger kids, I started having more miscarriages. But there was a time that the, I was carrying the baby longer and, you know, those miscarriages were hard.

But I will say, um, it was more of an early stillborn, but I, my sister was going through a, a trial of her faith at that time, and then we lost our little Ezra, and that was a tough time. I think that was the first time that I really felt myself, like going to the depths, like I just, of sorrow. It was just a tough time and it was something that I, I couldn't understand, you know?

I felt like we had received answers to being able to have this little one. And so it was just a, a challenging time, I think a time that caused me to just really take my faith, um, to a deeper level and my level of trust, um, to an even deeper level. So yes, we have a little Ezra that would've been right before our last child.

Grace is. I feel like that's the thing that is so hard. W with miscarriages as well. I feel like the thing that's so hard, and I, I haven't had a miscarriage, but observing other people, it seems like family planning and praying about when to have another baby and how many kids to have. I think that tends to be something that people are so prayerful about, and so when it feels guided and then it doesn't work out the way that you imagine, I think that can just be, it can rock you and for good reason.

I think for me, as I look back, it was a preparation, right? It was like this [00:08:00] refining time that maybe my first experience where I had this, I felt like I was in this refiner's fire, and I look back now and I just think like. I can see how it helped prepare me for the challenges that would come later. It ended up being a beautiful experience for us and our children and a, an opportunity for us to be able to teach and to be able to grow as a family and have this hope and then that, you know, it continued to help.

And bless me, I think as I've gone through challenges later. Thank you for sharing that. Another, another big part of, I feel like your family's story is the story of Erni, but I did not know that Erni was founded as a way to financially support your family through a another challenge. And so I wondered, could you tell listeners a little bit about how Eroni came to be?

Yeah, so our oldest daughter, Eliza, was born with what's called Mysia, which is an underdeveloped outer and middle ear. And actually, um, I had microdia, but on a really small level. Okay. And was told that it was just that it was an hereditary. And so then our first child is born. And she was just born with a little ear lobe and so no canal and just a little ear lobe.

And so obviously that was a big shock to both of us at, at that time. But, um, later on in her life when she was about, uh, seven or eight years old, that was the time that she was going to be able to. Have surgery that we started looking at being able to create her a little ear. And I remember meeting with the doctors in California and for some reason that was the first time we realized that the surgery would be considered cosmetic.

And so this, even just this first surgery. That we were hoping to have for her, um, was over a hundred thousand. And that didn't include like any middle ear or any [00:10:00] additional surgeries that she would have as a result, um, of this mysia. And so we, at that time, we had three young kids and we were just trying to figure out like we wanted this surgery for our daughter and how are we going to be able to.

Financially make that happen. They didn't have the GoFundMe like we do now. Right? And so we, at that time, that's where we said, well, we've gotta do something above and beyond to be able to, to provide this surgery for us. So I always say that ceremony was born outta love, love for our little Eliza. That's so beautiful.

I, I loved learning about that and I thought. How cool is it to see the way the Lord works? That in, in helping you get, find a way to help your daughter, he also helped you do something that you probably never imagined you would ever do. I noticed, um, Emily in Nathan's obituary, it said this, all of life's decisions big and small were made hand in hand In reference to you too as a couple, some people I think would say, don't work with your spouse, but you and Nathan seem to have made.

An incredible team, and so I wondered what you would say to other families or husbands and wives that are considering or starting a business together. Well, hopefully I, hopefully you have a good husband like I had because I think we were able to do it because of who he was and the kind of individual that he is.

And he was loving and patient and we really, I felt like we just worked, did everything together as a team and, and I'm talking everything from parenting. We just were on the same team and he helped with laundry and. He helped with kids [00:12:00] just as much as I did. So we really shared the load in so many ways and, and with our business, you know, I was in a spot, he had a, a current job and so he was working his job and so I was able to start that kind of on my, I.

Own in the evening hours. Um, obviously he supported me through all the years, but then it came to the point where ceremony was growing and um, he was in there supporting. Me at all times, but then eventually came to the point that I'm like, I can't do everything. And he was able to kind of take those, uh, that load from me and run ceremony.

So he was actually the CEO of ny. But I think we, we looked and understood our strengths and we were able to work. On our strengths and our strengths were different from each other, and so that's how we worked well as a team because I could focus and do the the things that I was strong in, and then he was able to, to carry the load of all the other areas.

I remember when I was dating somebody saying, you wanna find somebody who fills in your gaps. And I think we tend to be drawn to people that are a lot like us, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they, they, I. Fill in those or, or that you have different strengths and weaknesses and that those can actually compliment one another.

I learned a fun fact about the name NY as I was preparing, and that is that the company is named after two ancestors, one from your family tree and one from Nathan's. So I wondered how have you drawn strength from these two women that s is named after. As you've gone through what you've gone through the last few years, we obviously named our companies Sarah and Noni b based on [00:14:00] from Sarah Benson and, and Noni Huggins and their values and the things and the lessons that they have taught us.

Um, but in particular, I have thought multiple times over and over about Sarah and. Over the last couple years, she, there was a time in her life when her co husband was called to serve, and I believe she was pregnant with her eighth child when he left, and she had seven other children that, and she had a farm that was their livelihood and this woman.

Because of her great faith in the Lord and her desire to let her husband go serve, she took over the farm and continued to raise those kids, and I just think I have been able to just relate to her and truly be able to draw strength from her knowing like she was able to do these things and she didn't have everything that I have.

Right. And I remember thinking that she is one, that her faith was the most important thing to her. And so she didn't speak negatively about her husband serving, and she, you know, try have those treasure moments of them being able to read his letters. And so I've tried to approach it with, with her, and that's, like I said, I've thought of her multiple times as I've gone through this challenge in my life.

I love that. I love that we are able to draw strength from the stories of our ancestors, but I think often, you know, if we don't know those stories, we're not able to draw strength from them. So I love that you know enough about her that she has been a source of comfort. Emily, I want to get into what I want to talk about for the bulk of the rest of our conversation, which is the experience that your family had in losing Nathan.

Temporarily in 2021, your [00:16:00] otherwise, from what I understand, your otherwise healthy husband began to feel really tired and thought that it was a thyroid issue, and two months later he passed away following a short battle with a very aggressive brain cancer. I wondered if you could share with me and with listeners a little bit about that experience from his diagnosis.

To his passing, and then maybe we can dig in a little bit to some of the things that you've learned from that experience. Yeah, you're exactly right. I mean, we were kind of in the prime of our life. Our youngest had just gone to kindergarten. We were just loving being able to go to all the golf tournaments and football games that our kids were playing in.

And I think for the, you know, first time it was a time that we just were able to spend lots of time together and Nathan had taken the kids to a BYU game. He was currently, he was serving as a bishop at the time, and so he had gotten home late from the BYU game. We live in Logan and he. I got up early at six to go to meetings and it was tithing settlement time.

He came home late at night. I remember him saying like, I am just so tired. I'm like, of course you are. You haven't like gotten any sleep. But by Wednesday he came home and he just said, I, I think I have a thyroid problem. And so Friday I took him. Into the InstaCare, and we were immediately sent to, uh, the emergency room where he received an MRI and we were told that he had a brain tumor, but they didn't have a doctor there that could read it or tell us anything about it.

And so o obviously we were devastated as we drove home thinking like how our lives had just completely gone from one. You know, looked one way and, and looked a totally different way. Um, just minutes after we thought, you know, minutes later. And so we [00:18:00] came home thinking and, and hoping that we would be able to see a doctor and that there would be some sort of, I.

Treatment, there would be some sort of surgery. Um, that was on a Friday, but by Sunday, um, Nathan lost the ability to be able to walk so he couldn't walk on his own. So that quickly from a Friday to a Sunday, I. He couldn't walk and we, through a series of miracles, were able to get into Huntsman, um, the following Tuesday.

So just several days later. And at that time we were told that he most likely had glioblastoma and, and also he, the tumor was in the middle of the brainstem. And so we learned that it was not possible to. Have any sort of surgery to be able to remove the tumor. And of course I, you know, I'm like, well, there has to be some way, like we've gotta have chemotherapy or radiation or something.

But really no options for us. They, his, his tumor had cut off this cerebral spinal fluid from flowing, and so basically they admitted us immediately and we had emergency surgery the next morning. He had emergency surgery the next morning to be able to. Go in and put a shunt in so that he, that cerebral spinal fluid could flow.

And at that time, um, they took a biopsy and, um, we were then, um, in the hospital for the next week trying to, um, help him, um, recover from the surgery. And a week later we received the news that it in fact was glioblastoma, multiform stage four cancer. And, um, they gave him four weeks to live. I cannot, I cannot even imagine.

And I. As I, I remember seeing your post at that time, Emily, I think it was one of your daughters, maybe your oldest daughter [00:20:00] that posted something. That was the very first thing that I saw, and I just remember thinking, I cannot imagine if that were my dad and now being married. Fast forward a few years, I'm like, I cannot imagine if that were my husband.

And so I, I, I don't know how you did it, but I wondered. In those, those final weeks, it seems like your family was able to spend a lot of time together with your husband and that, that that had to have been a sacred experience. Are there, is there anything that you would share about that time and about maybe how, what it was like to kind of usher your husband into that new phase of, of eternal life?

Yeah. You know, we, at that time we chose to, to go on an experimental treatment, not through Huntsman, because nothing was offered there, and I think we were just praying and hoping for a miracle. You know, I remember coming home on that Friday and seen Nathan's, we have a painting, it's the Pool of Bethesda.

It's been Nathan's paint. Favorite painting for I don't know how many years, probably. 13 years at that time. And it, we have a large painting in our, in our living, in our family room, and I saw that his, his screen changer immediately changed on that Friday. And it was a picture of that pool of Bethesda and the savior healing that man that had been.

Um, sat there for 38 years unhealed, and, and we believed and hoped and prayed that we would be able to have this big miracle. Um, but Nathan was so, so good in being able to help lead and guide us as a com, as, as a, as a family. I remember the first thing [00:22:00] is he pulled us together on that Friday. He said to us, um, if we come out of this with greater faith in Jesus Christ and closer as a family, it will be worth it in the end.

And I, I, you know, at that point we didn't know his diagnosis, but I think that one saying has. Allowed us to treat this totally different than maybe we would have to be able to look at it and to say, our ultimate goal is to come out of this, to come out of our challenges, our trials with a deeper faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

And, and you know, sometimes I think it is a, a deeper trial of our faith to. To not be healed, right? To like, like we're exercising faith on that we would receive this miracle that by some miracle that this experimental treatment would work. But Nathan's faith was ran deeper than that. You know, every, he had us at every single prayer always saved that it wasn't, we didn't want our wills.

Right it. It's whatever the Lord would want and what would help us draw closer to the savior and closer as a family. And so I think he had the faith to be healed. If anyone knows Nathan, they know he was a man of great faith, but he also had the faith to not healed. And I think that it took a little deeper faith to not be healed.

Because if you know Nathan also, you know that his family, me and his family, we were everything to him, you know? And so. Which I, it, I'm sure it is for everyone. Right? But, but that, that I think took the greater faith to, to not be held, to be able to [00:24:00] say like Danielle and his friends, like, but if not, like, we want this.

But if not, right, we'll still believe we will still be faithful. We will still, you know, find the miracles. Even though the little miracles, even though we didn't receive our, the miracle. The miracle, right. Emily, how would you say that your family, that you've seen kind of the fulfillment of that hope that Nathan had, that you would come out of it with deeper faith in Jesus Christ?

How have you seen that in the years since I. Oh, I would say in so, so many ways, I think it's been everything that we've had to clinging onto as a family. There have been several situations that have been tough, situations that kids have dealt with with grief that we've had to just dig so deep to be able to.

Fully trust and to be able to learn, I guess, what it means to, to trust in the Lord and to have faith. It wasn't, it's not faith in, you know, being healed. It's not faith in, um, not having a stillborn, it's like faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Right. And in his ability to. To bless us as a family in his ability to heal our hearts, in his ability, um, and, and, and trusting in, in Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father and, and understanding who they really are, right.

And their true natures. Because I think that is what we have as we've tried to have faith in those things, then we're able to. Kind of face the challenges, you know, and, and I believe, you know, that's when we are able to see the, the miracles, the little miracles. 'cause I think often it's just like, well, we didn't get what we want.

Well, the right only father doesn't care about us. Right. I can think from a child's perspective, you [00:26:00] know, he doesn't, he didn't answer my prayers, you know, he didn't, he isn't. Care what I'm going through, you know, like we could go on and on and on. And I, you know, I remember Nathan saying to us like, don't ask why I don't want you ever to ask why.

And so several times as other challenges that I've been faced with. With the business or just wondering with, you know, how I'm gonna do all this on my own? Um, I find myself like, why? And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I have to do what Nathan asked. You know, what, what can we learn? And so, um, I've seen my children, I.

Testimonies just grow even deeper. Their belief in the savior grow even deeper because they, they are hoping and, and holding onto those promises that we've been given. I can't imagine being a mother. And, and facing this without the gospel of Jesus Christ. It has been everything that, um, to me in knowing how to handle the challenges that he, that I faced, that the children have faced and, you know, that we, that the sadness and of missing him and not having him here with us.

You mentioned that grief and, and your children dealing with grief. I think my mom always says a mother is only as happy as her saddest child. And I think as a mom, that would be one of like, not only are you dealing with your own grief, but you also are trying to help. Your beautiful children navigate grief.

So how, how have you done that? What, what has been helpful to you in helping guide your kids through that grief? Outside of just belief in Jesus Christ, which obviously is everything. Yeah. Um, you know, the first that, um, came to me was an experience of my daughter, my oldest [00:28:00] daughter, who had received a mission call.

And, and I think it had been so busy with going back to BYU in the middle of the semester, losing Nathan and trying to do school and everything. Received her mission call and when school ended, um, she was just hit with this wave of grief that just took her to the ground and would, she wasn't in a place that she could.

That she could go serve a mission. And so we prolonged her, her leaving on her mission. And I remember one day we, I felt like we had done everything, like we had gone, you know, to counseling. We, she was doing cold plunges, she was listening to podcasts, she was reading her scripture, she was going to the temple and she just couldn't pull out of it.

I remember the car was my sacred place. It was where I just cried every day as I went to work and where I, one day I just finally said to Heavenly father, heavenly Father, and Nathan. I just addressed them both and I said, you are her heavenly father. You are her earthly father, and I cannot do this. We have tried.

Everything that we can and we can't do it. So she is yours like I like She's yours. I'm turning her all over to you. It was an incredible thing. I, I, I thought to myself later, why didn't I do this before? Why didn't I turn it over to the Lord and Nathan before? But that's where, you know, one of many experiences that I've had where I know that Earthly angels can help us, that our family from the other side can help us.

But it literally, that night. The first miracle came. It was not the miracle she was wanting. My son was leaving on his mission and he asked to give [00:30:00] each of us a blessing before he left on his mission, and he started giving her her blessing and he told her that she needed to serve and that the heavenly father was counting on her.

And I, she was not happy. She was mad and I knew it, but she was bawling. I was bawling. Um. Isaac was bawling. And then after that experience said multiple other things, it is, is the first time as he's, he's giving blessings for the first time in his life, right? But he let her know that like those words were not his.

And that was the beginning. And it literally was like this upward trajectory that I couldn't even believe myself. And she wasn't telling me what was going on. And she told me later all the experiences that happened in between. But it was like an immediate upward climb and she was able to leave on her mission.

And I, I just look at that as one of the greatest miracles, but, but. You know, I remember Nathan used to pray for our kids. He would pray for family to help protect and watch over our kids, his family on the other side. Right. And I remember thinking, well, that's a nice thing to pray for, you know? And then I remember Sister Nelson's talk.

It's my favorite talk now, hopefully I can remember it, about delighting in the covenant of the Lord. It was a BYU talk, and she talked about when she first learned about angels, that how we could call an angels from the other side, how she learned that from Elder Holland. And I, I think I, that point, I was like, okay, that's, that's a neat thing.

But the experiences that we were able to have during those eight weeks, I, I called on angels multiple times. From the other side to help Nathan and to help me get through nights of Seing and to help get through an MRI that we desperately needed, that he couldn't hold still from, and I called them by name and.

[00:32:00] I, I, we saw, we saw blessings that, that came from that. And so I guess I, that maybe is, is one of those things. They don't, it doesn't always come that way. Right? We don't always get these big miracles. We've seen, I've seen so many things since where we, obviously I didn't, we didn't receive our big miracle and we're not going to always receive it.

Um, help from the other side. But I do think it's a power and a strength that maybe we don't rely on or turn to. As much as we could turn to. And so that's maybe how I've, I, I learned through that experience that I have. I can call on them. I can rely on them. Well, I love the way that you said you directly addressed Nathan because you knew that you needed him.

And I think that that is, that's profound. I think that we sometimes. I, I think sometimes we live beneath our privilege in being able to ask for the things that we need directly from the Lord and I, I've had experiences as well, Emily, where I felt like I needed to be pulled out of a hole, and it was not until I directly asked for the Savior's help in pulling myself out of that hole that I.

Started to see that progress, that forward progress that you mentioned, and it, it does come rapidly as soon as we call upon the father or the son and, and in this case calling for, for your sweet husband to help as well. Shortly before he passed away, Nathan started something, from what I understand, started working on something called Seroni Cares, which I think is so cool in retrospect to look back and think this is what he was working on right before he passed away, and that you all have been able to serve so many people and to ease people's burdens and bring a smile to people's faces [00:34:00] in.

Really difficult times, and so I wondered if you could tell listeners a little bit about that and how that philanthropic aspect of your for-profit business has blessed your life. Yes. It was interesting because it was before Nathan got sick that we had done HU some, a lot of humanitarian work over in Cambodia and Africa as a company in these countries that were far away.

And one day Nathan just said, I wanna be able to help more locally. I wanna be able to help. People that are close to us, we would see people going through challenges, whether a loss of all sorts, right from, from cancer to to death to um, just a loss of dreams. And, and so he, um, just said, I, I wanna be able to help Huntsman people use our blankets all the time to be able to, um, help those that have cancer.

And so I believe it was. Around June, and so Nathan got sick on November 5th is that's when we, and around June he, we came up with ceremony cares and we ordered a whole bunch of blankets, a large donation on our part to give to, um, Huntsman. That was his first desire is like, I first want to give. Blankets to people going through cancer.

I'm like, little did we know that? We had no idea. In fact, when I was, um, pushing him up in a wheelchair to Huntsman to his first appointment, I. Where I thought we were gonna have all sorts of, of treatment options. I joked with them and I said, Hey, you might be able to even get one of your own blankets.

Right? Um, but it was, uh, so, so that's actually how it began. And it was just, I. Incredible to see that he ended up being that person that was in Huntsman, and to be able to see that, yes, our blankets did bring comfort. I mean, the moments and the time that we spent on the [00:36:00] bed that that was the eight weeks, you know, we spent on the bed snuggling.

With him and just talking to him and having those sacred special moments. And so we have, we've been able to go back and, and at that time those blankets just had to sit for a long time 'cause I didn't have it in me to be able to go back to Huntsman to be able to donate those blankets. But we've been able to donate thousands of blankets to Huntsman, to primary children.

To, to, um, hospitals in, in, you know, LA and Texas and Boston and, and I, you know, we feel like we've been blessed and we just, it's our way, I guess, of being able to try to bring comfort, to be able to bring that warmth to someone that is, is facing a hard time. I remember seeing those pictures of your family all snuggled up to your husband, and I thought, what a, what a beautiful, first of all, what a beautiful family you have such a beautiful family, but I.

And I probably have referenced this on this podcast before, but my, my dad lost his mom, um, I believe it was in 2017, and she was staying with my parents and I just happened to be home for Thanksgiving and she passed away over Thanksgiving. And we've always said such a sacred thing to get to be there with someone as they're preparing to.

To go to the other side and that you feel like heaven is so, so close. And so I think for your family to have had that and, and granted, nobody wants to lose somebody that quickly, but to be able to be there together as a family, I just remember seeing those pictures and thinking, what, what a beautiful family.

It was the most amazing. Eight weeks. So we had people serving us so that all we, we did it was just to focus on spending time and he was able [00:38:00] to share so many, um, bits of advice and so many things that really have blessed our, our kids' lives. I know, Emily, that you have had three children. You've sent three children on missions since Nathan's passing, which I think is such a credit to you both.

What have you learned about how to best prepare children for missions? Yes, we have sent three kids on missions in a short amount of time. And I guess I would say that it begins young. Um, those sacred, holy habits that you can develop as a, as a family if you can. You know, the reading of the scriptures, the prayers as a family, I think that has what has prepared my children the most.

I don't know that I did anything. I think I was so overwhelmed with everything at the time of them actually leaving. I probably only got the physical necessities there. But I think, um, anytime that we can take, make sure that the most important things are the most important things in our family's lives.

I love that. Those times, those I think are what I remember as, as a, as a couple and as a family, is just those, those daily habits of, of prayer and scripture reading. And that has probably prepared them the most. Little by little, a little becomes a lot. Right, right. I, I couldn't help but notice in the videos that I watched of two of your children's homecomings, the signs that talked about your, their, their dad being proud of them.

And so it was your other children holding up signs that were like, your dad, I know Dad is so proud of you. Um, and I don't know how [00:40:00] anyone could see that and not feel a little bit emotional. But I wondered how you have felt the reality of heaven and of Nathan's awareness of your family since his passing.

You know what, we've, I, we've really tried to keep him a part of our lives. My little sweet daughter, grace, that was five when Nathan passed, turning six. Um, every day. She still prays, you know. For Nathan, and we try to, to keep him a part of our lives, but I think it's being able to notice the little miracles.

They aren't big things, but Nathan told the kids that he was going to be able to have, be a part of their lives, uh, in a different way and a and, and, uh, um, than he would ever be able to be. A part of their lives on earth here on this earth. He told them how he would be able to be there watching them as they were out serving and those other things that he wouldn't be, he would he.

He made it feel like it was like this special privilege that our kids had, that I'm gonna be able to watch you while you're on your mission. I'm gonna be able to be a. Part of those special moments. And then he said, I'm gonna be able to watch you and be there when you're going through your challenges at AT in college.

And then he did say like, and you better make good decisions 'cause I'm watching you. But I think he was helped them. Realize that he would always be a part of their lives, you know, and shared that like the father was his, like most sacred calling, being a father and a husband. And that heavenly father wouldn't take that away from him.

That's Heavenly Father's greatest work and his glory and, and he would allow, and he knew that heaven father would allow him to continue to be a part of his life. So I've just noticed it at little, little times. Like I remember going to a choir concert. [00:42:00] For my daughter, and I just felt Nathan there, you know, and he told me he wouldn't miss any of their important moments.

And I just felt Nathan there and a woman turned to me and she said, I can feel him. You know, and, and I just think it's being able to be quiet and notice, and when he is a part of life and believing and knowing that what he said was true. That, that, that he, that he would be there for them. In those moments after my grandmother passed away, we used to always joke that if, if one of her kids or grandkids was gonna raise their hand in a school class, she wanted to be there to see it because she wanted to be everywhere all at once.

And she used to say, I wish she could be in two places at once. And so we've always said since she passed, we're like, she probably kind of gets her wish now. She's probably like everywhere she wants to be. I I wanna ask you one more question before we get to our last question. Emily, and I did not prepare you for this, but I just wondered how are you doing and, and what has helped you.

We've talked a lot about helping your kids, but obviously you are a person too, and so I wondered how, how are you doing? How are you doing? Yeah, no. Um, if I'm completely honest, it has been a lot. I wasn't running the business. I was home every day and our lives looked different. You know, I'm going into work.

I, I had to learn everything about the business. I remember I. Taking a son down to a football game, and I was sitting there listening like, how do you read a p and l? I mean, I just, I, he handled all those things. And so it has been a lot to take on, um, six children, uh, you know, my own personal sadness and grief, and then the business.

But I would say no question. [00:44:00] That I've drawn my greatest strength from being able to just be in the temple and to go going to the temple. I, I think whenever I, I try to, to make it to the temple often because I feel like there is a. Strength and a power. And I just crave hearing the blessings in the initiatory and, um, the blessings that, and as we, um, go through a session.

And so I would say that I. Although it's been hard, I felt so blessed and strengthened, um, to do things that I know I could not do on my own. And I, I feel and believe it is, um, that power that comes from keeping, trying to keep my covenants and, and drawing on that, that covenantal power, I guess, that I feel like I receive as, as I attend the temple.

Well, I always say that I think that is the one thing that I have learned the most about from this podcast, from talking to people, is just the power and strength that covenants give people, especially when we're going through our hardest challenges. So thank you for sharing that. My last question for you, Emily, is what does it mean to you to be all in the gospel of Jesus Christ?

Yeah, I, I love this question. It made me think, because I definitely think it's changed for me over the years. I think my younger self kind of would think of all in, like, you might think of like playing a sport or, um, where like all in means, like you just give everything that you've got and it's all your effort and it's a hundred percent, or like I'm all into this way of eating and if I fall, then I fall.

I'm like, I have to do everything just perfectly and it's all me and my efforts, right. But that has definitely changed over the years and especially over the last several years. And so I, if when I thought of all in, the [00:46:00] first thought that came to my mind about being all in, in the gospel of Jesus Christ is I look at it more like a relationship, like a, like a marriage relationship.

You know, when you think of. A marriage, you think of several things. You know, it means like when there are challenges, when there are things that are tough, when there are issues and problems that are hard, or when things don't go as planned or as you hope for, um, you don't just bail. Right. Be all in means, like you're faithful and you're loyal and you work together and you're relying on each other and, and to get each other through the tough times.

And so I look at that in the, the sense that like, that is my relationship with my heavenly father and my savior. You know, you just don't bail when things get hard, when you don't get what you want, right? Or. Like it means when you're all in a marriage that you choose each other, that you're choosing each other every day, that you show up with your whole heart and that you're learning from each other and growing, and you're sharing your struggles and openly and you are, you know, sharing your dreams and, and you're sharing, you know, what's hard for you and they become your best friend.

And so I, I think of it. In that sense too, right? Like, like that's what I look at. If we're all in, we're all into this relationship and, and you know, I even thought of like oftentimes in a marriage we have like a give and take and why a wife might be providing for her husband, why he goes through school.

Right. And so they take on different roles and responsibilities and, and someone has to carry a heavier load. And, you know, there are times that I've been able to carry the heavier load and, and now I, it's, it's like I have to rely on my heavenly father and my savior to carry. My load. I can't give what I used to be able to give and I need that extra help and strength.

But in a marriage, [00:48:00] it's that give and take. And in that, that that relationship, that marriage relationship with our heavenly father and our savior, that covenantal relationship, then there are, they realize, they know sometimes I'm gonna be able to give more and sometimes I, I can't. And they understand. And so I guess that would be, when I think of all in now, um, of how I would look at it differently is I look at it more like this, this beautiful relationship of being all in, in this relationship with my Heavenly father and my savior, and trusting them and trusting their abilities to help me and bless me.

So, so beautifully said. I was just talking this morning with a friend and I was telling her that I had this interesting moment during general conference where I felt like I wasn't getting anything out of general conference with uh, two under two. That's exactly. I've been there. Yeah. And I was walking back from taking my 2-year-old to the bathroom.

And I just heard one of the speakers quote the scripture, by grace, we are saved after all we can do. And it hit me like it had never hit me before, that we think often of that by grace we are saved. After all we can do as salvation, right? By grace, we're gonna be saved in the end of the story. And it hit me that for me right now.

I feel like I am giving heavenly Father what I have to give, which doesn't feel like much. And in that situation with general conference, it was like, I'm here, but I'm not getting a lot out of this, but that he saves me over and over and over again. And I love him so much for that. And I think that that is kind of the essence of what the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Does for us is that we, like you said, sometimes we don't have a lot to give, but he takes that and he makes more out of it than we can imagine. So Emily, thank you so much. You are [00:50:00] so, such a beautiful person, and I just feel so lucky to have gotten to talk to you. Well, I'm grateful to be able to share a little something today, so thank you for having me.

We are so grateful to Emily Peterson for joining us on today's episode. We're also grateful as always, to Derek Campbell of Mixed at six studios for his help with this episode. And as always, we appreciate you listening. We'll be with you again in August, and in the meantime, we hope you have a wonderful summer.