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Over two million views on YouTube show a dramatic family reunion on national television. What they don't show is the quiet triumph of a daughter carrying on her biological mother's legacy. McKenna Breinholt's journey spans adoption, inherited gifts, and a faith strong enough to anchor her through life's hardest seasons.

Though her birth mother passed away years ago, McKenna now understands the two distinct halves that make her who she is, and she's using her voice to complete a story that was left unfinished. Many fell in love with McKenna Breinholt during her time on American Idol, where she finished in the top seven on season 22.

She has performed with the Arizona-based group Cinematic Pop!, led by Lamb of God composer Rob Gardner since she was 16 years old, and she now resides in Nashville, Tennessee, where she is pursuing a career as a Christian singer-songwriter.

This is All In, an LDS Living podcast where we ask the question: what does it really mean to be all in the gospel of Jesus Christ? I'm Morgan Pearson, and I am so honored to have McKenna Breinholt on the line with me today. McKenna, welcome. Hi, I'm so happy to be here. I'm so grateful to be here. I should start by making sure that people know that, uh, McKenna is a very big deal now, but...

And maybe I just have an eye for talent, I don't know. But I've known that McKenna was gonna be a really big deal for a very long time. So I think, McKenna, I met you when you were, like, 15. Is that right? Yes. 15 or 16. Yeah. Right around then. Crazy. And you have always been so talented and such a bright light, and I think it's interesting in light of the things that we're gonna talk about today, because- I think a lot of times, like, we have no idea what people around us are going through, and that certainly was the case for me with you because every time I saw you it was just like, "She's the cutest thing in the whole world."

And so I wanna start off though with your parents who I love and I, I wondered if you could tell me a bit about the home that you grew up in and how your parents encouraged you to use the talent that God has very clearly given you. You're so sweet. First of all just thank you for always being so sweet to me and always seeing that in me.

I, I love you so much and I'm so grateful I've known you for so long. Being raised by my parents is, is what has truly shaped me to be the person I am today. I was obviously adopted, but thanks to Amy she chose the most beautiful, loving parents who loved each other and who loved me so much to raise me and love me.

And from a young age they always poured their time and energy and thoughts and finances into me finding my hobbies. So I started with dance and T-ball. I was even on like an all-boys basketball team that my dad coached and then I got into tennis, and this was all before music. And I really loved tennis and w- did it all of high school.

But I, I started to... There was a piano in our, our family room and, and I, I had heard something on the radio and showed my dad like, "Look, I can play this on the piano." And I had found out pretty quickly that that, that potentially would be one of my talents is playing the piano. I didn't think I could sing so they put me into piano lessons.

And once I started to have the desire to write and play I sucked at it so bad. I sucked at singing so bad to where my parents were like, "That is so sad. Like she's really good at piano but she can't-" I find this all very hard to believe. Oh, you ask my mom. You ask my mom. She will stand her ground. And I think she even said it in an interview on American Idol, but I really couldn't sing and so they put me into voice lessons.

And I learned so much in voice lessons but it, it, it ultimately did not help me become the singer that I am today and so I wanted to try guitar. They put me into guitar lessons with who you and I both know, Jeff Arnett, who I'll probably end up talking about later in this podcast. But he taught me how to sing.

And so if they had not taken all of those steps to invest their time and energy into me finding, um, what I loved I w- I, I wouldn't have been the singer that I am today which is, it's because of them. Well, I, um, I, I should tell listeners that McKenna's mom, Lisa, asked me if I would write a story that, that you didn't even know was, like, being written, I don't think.

Yeah. And so I, like, interviewed your dad, talked to your mom, and I remember your dad talking about, like, a music recital where you sang Jar of Hearts. Oh my gosh, yes. And he was so cute. He was like, "When I think about her singing that song, I still melt." Mm-hmm. And I was like, "That is the cutest thing I've ever heard."

That is, that's my dad for you. Yeah. I... That video sucks. It was my first performance for Jeff's students, and I, I don't... Like, I can't listen to it, but he's so proud of it. And he has shown up that way through every performance. Same with my mom. Every performance, every, every little tiny concert I've had, they'll drop anything to be there.

And so that, that's, that's how they have encouraged me in, in f- following my dreams. Well, I think it's so cool that Amy, like, clearly saw something in them, you know? And that she wanted them to have you. When did you start to wonder? Did you start to wonder before they told you that you were adopted? They actually did it so beautifully.

I had children's books being raised on that instead of, like, when Mommy gave birth to you, when they had you at the hospital and they left with you at the hospital, the books that I had were Mommy and Daddy were so excited, they packed all their bags, and they drove to the hospital to go pick me up. Mm.

And so that's the story that I was raised on, and it, uh, like, f- I can... I never remember not being adopt... Like, I don't ever remember not knowing. Okay. Um, because they had, they had taught me from the get-go. And it was, it was so magical to me. It was... They made it so magical. So when, McKenna, would you say that you started to wonder more about Amy?

This is actually such a crucial part of the story, which I'm so glad you're asking me this. I started to Like, wonder about my birth mom, I probably was around 15 or 16, which is crazy because that's when she had passed away. So it's like when she had passed away, the, the inspiration- That draw ... sent to me that's like, "Hey, when will I get to know about my birth mom?"

And because it was a closed adoption, I legally couldn't find out information either till I was 18 or 21. I, I can't remember. But my parents had just said, "When you're 21, like, we'll sit you down and, and tell you what... like help you find what you wanna know." And I was like, "Okay." And I kind of stopped thinking about it for the, for the meantime, and I didn't really know who she was until I was in the midst of all of this adversity that I was going through with addiction, which we'll probably talk about, too.

And so I didn't have the desire to learn about her then yet. And so I really... It, it's just been this last few years that all of these amazing things that I've been inspired with have been helping or have been happening. Um, so yeah, it, it's all been new for me. I, I never really took the time to know her or try to know her, and I think it also was just because I had such a beautiful life that I just...

I, I couldn't have... I, I, I just was so happy with the relationships I had. I didn't feel like I needed to seek out more at the time. Yeah. Well, and, and one crazy part of your parents' end of the story is, like, they weren't even supposed to know her name, right? Yes. But it was, like, on the sonogram? Yes, and I'm so glad you know that.

And, and they didn't tell me they knew her name, and, and I... Looking, I'm sure they don't know why they didn't tell me, but we all know why now. Yeah. When everything came to, my whole life changed, and I wasn't supposed to know about her until that exact day that it happened and all of this. And so, yeah, the fact that my parents just knew and just trusted that it wasn't the time to tell me, and when they did tell me, I, I was under the influence of so many things that were not keeping me clear-headed.

And so it was so hard to receive that information and, and really fully care about it and, and handle it. Right. Um, so yeah, they... It's, it's been a, a crazy long process figuring it out and learning about her and my birth family. Yeah. So McKenna, you have been really open about the struggles that you had with addiction.

Yeah. And, uh, you've recently did a video for the church where you talked about showing up at a door at 11:00 PM asking for a priesthood blessing. I wondered- Kind of if you could tell us a little bit about like what led to that point, and then have you always had a testimony of priesthood power? What led you to that moment at that door at 11:00 PM?

Oof. So I had been, and this is I'm so grateful I was able to share that on, on the church's socials, and it was so generic in a way so we could reach everybody. So I'm glad you're asking me about this, 'cause this has altered my life, this, this moment. I had been involved in some pretty heavy substances at the time, and I wanted to get clean so bad.

And I started to try. So I was about two days clean from what I was going through, and my parents had gone to a work party. It was a Friday night, and I was alone at home. And looking back, the easiest way to put it is that the adversary had taken advantage of that time. And in, in the vulnerable state that I was in with trying to stay sober, and immediately thoughts were lodged in, like, "You can't do this.

You can't do this. Go relapse." Like, "You need to do this right now." Like you... And just it, it suddenly became a tornado of just black, and I couldn't feel or think anything. And then this tiny voice. There were so many loud noises going on in my head, but this tiny whisper that I could still hear said, "Go to Jeff's."

And it was Jeff Burnett, my guitar teacher, who's raised me and taught me everything I know when it comes to music. And I have always known that priesthood blessings work for me. I've always believed in them. I, I left the church for, for years, several years, and I still, throughout not being all in in the gospel, I knew that I could get blessings from priesthood holders.

And so I get in the car, and it feels like two opposite ends of magnets, you know, trying to connect. Like, everything in my head is screaming at me saying, "Turn around. Go home. Go home." And just the little voice kept saying, "Keep going." And so I was screaming, driving to Jeff's house, and just crying and, and in the worst panic attack that I had been in in my life, and I hadn't given him a heads-up.

He's a little bit older, same with his wife, and the, their lights are off. It's 11 o'clock at night, and I am banging on their door. And they, they turn the lights on, and they're hiding behind the door. And I'm like, I didn't even know why I was there, but I literally spit out the words, "I need a blessing right now."

And he said, "Come in. Come in." And I sat down on his couch, and he put his hands on me and was silent for about 30 seconds, just gripped really hard, and then started to give me my blessing. And at the end of the blessing, before he finished, the loudest words came out of his mouth, and he said, "If you do this again, you will become addicted And he had no idea what I had done before I got there.

He had no idea what I was going through. And he had taken his hands off and said, "I did not say that. What did you do?" And I was able to tell him what I had messed up on and what I was trying to be clean from, and it was a substance that was near impossible to get clean from. And he told me... He taught me about it, and he told me to stay strong.

And I drove home so happy, beaming with joy. A song came on in my head, Even When You're Broken. And it's an EFY song that I had listened to years before. I play it, and the whole song is the Lord speaking to me, saying, "Even if you're broken, He's gonna love you, so pour it all out." And so I go home. I'm sitting on my bed just beaming, and I look over to my closet and I see my dusty scriptures, and I literally say out loud, "No," like I'm not gonna go open those right now.

Absolutely not. I have not read my scriptures in years. I'm not going to go open those. And it just- I just go open them, and it's to a random page, and it turned to D&C 19, and it was basically the whole scripture saying, "Repent, repent. Struggles you know not. Pain you know not." Like, if you continue to go down this path, it will be horrible, and repent.

And that changed my life, just one thing after another. And that was a, a huge, long story just with that one question. But in that moment, it, it reassured me that the Lord saw me and that the Lord was giving me answers to free myself from the chains of the addiction that I was so heavily in. And the priest's blessing, what was what...

is what sparked all of that inspiration to even open my scriptures and, and hear that the Lord is real, and He's talking to me right now, and He's telling me that I need to do better Well, I think the, at the end of the video that you did for the church, you talked about, like, you said, like, "I've given Jesus plenty of reasons, or God plenty of reasons to give up on me," and that God doesn't give up on us.

And I think that that is just such an important message for people to hear, and to know that He's gonna... He's always, like the, the scripture about His arm is stretched out still. Like, His arm is stretched out to us over and over and over again when we think we don't deserve it. And so I love that. I... It's interesting, McKenna, hearing your point of view after talking to your mom about it several times, and hearing, like, from her perspective how there were miracles happening and things happening on her end, where it was like she obviously, like any parent, was praying for you and wanting, you know, the very best things for you.

But hearing it from your perspective is, is so cool, too. Um, were there any other- Both sections Yes. Crazy. Yeah, yeah, and it's all coming together. Were there any other, like, key spiritual experiences that you can point back to that you're like, "That pulled me through that period of time"? Oh, I mean, that...

Every single time I have been low like that to where I have felt like the adversary has everything weighing on me that, like, he is not gonna give up on me either, and I feel like I'm in that spiritual battle where I can literally feel the Lord doing a tug-of-war and the adversary, and in those moments, there's always been a miracle after like that.

And, and, and I mean, lately I'm going through things to where I'm kind of, it's taking a long time to get that miracle. But, but over those last 10 years of, of struggling with substances and just mental health and figuring out my, my life, I was getting those miracles, um, quite often, just, just, just surrendering myself and then getting answers pretty quickly.

And I believe that the Lord was doing that for me so that I'd be prepared later in the future for when life got even harder. And I, I'm grateful for how, how many miracles there were, and I'm just, I just can't... I, I wouldn't be able to... I think that would be the most crucial moment in my life to where I woke up and realized that God is real and God knows who I am.

And there's nothing that in, in my history that could have topped that. Well, the crazy thing to me is that, you know, you had this experience with the Arnetts, which I know that they listen to All In and they're gonna love hearing you sh- share that story. But I, I, you had that experience with them that's like 11:00 PM at night, nobody else sees that happen, and you're like, "That's the biggest miracle that I've experienced."

On the flip side, everybody saw what happened on American Idol- Right ... which was also, like, a miracle. And I, I, uh, went back and watched your audition when I was, like, prepping for this, and I was like, "I honestly think this might be one of the best moments that has ever happened on television." And I mean that, like, so sincerely.

I know I'm biased, but I was like, this is just so good. Thank you. So I want to, I wanna make sure that we have plenty of time to talk about that. Yes. So you, from what I understand in talking to your parents, when you connected with your birth family, you were down at your grandparents'. And your mom, I think it was, said, like...

You were like, "There's one more thing that I need to, like, work through, and I'm gonna go down to my grandparents' house and work through that." And while you were there, you felt this pull to understand more about Amy and her family. Is that right? Yes, exactly. Okay. Okay, I've got that part right. Exactly. Um, so what, what role do you feel like Amy played in helping you overcome those things that you were trying to work through, and also in connecting you with her family?

Oh, my gosh. Amy I felt like I didn't know her throughout those, all those years of struggling, but looking back and knowing that she was next to me every single moment She went through very similar things that I did, and so I like to believe that she is trying to work so hard to help me overcome what she may have not been able to overcome in this life.

And so looking back, I, I almost believe that all of those miracles w- were because of her. I think she was breaking rules up there and, and saying like, "Help my girl, help my girl," and she did that. And she... I also think her and the Lord just, just conspired in, in the timeline of, of me getting sober and finding my birth family.

Like, the day... Like, I really just wanted to, to work on a f- a few more things, and at the second that I let those things go, within hours I had inspiration to research my birth family, and all of it became accessible within 30 seconds to a minute of even trying. Like, it was so weird. It was like Amy said...

Honestly, not Amy. It was like God said, "Thank you. I'm going to give you this now." Like, He just... It's the teddy bear picture. It's, it's the little kid holding the raggedy small teddy bear saying, "But God, I love it," and God has a giant teddy bear behind His back, and He's saying, "Just trust me." And so I gave Him my teddy bear, and I got the biggest, the biggest teddy bear.

I had found them, um... I, I had just found someone who knew them, and I f- I wrote a business inquiry to him on his website, and within, like, an, an hour I got an email saying, "Man, do I have people who've been waiting to meet you." And I had waken- woken up that next morning to an email from all of Amy's family saying that they had been looking...

were... They'd been waiting for me to reach out for seven years, and they didn't know when to, and they just felt like they shouldn't. And that day that they reached... That, that, that day that we had found each other, or I had found them at least, it was my birth grandma's birthday. And so that's just something, like, Amy would do to just mess around and be like, "Oh, here, Ranelle," which is her mom's name, my grandma's name.

Like, "Here's an extra gift for you for your birthday. Like, McKenna is ready." And it felt so clear as day to everyone that I needed to really work hard on some things before I could fully appreciate my birth family and my family and the connection that was going to happen with that. Talk to me a little bit, McKenna, about w- so that day, was it that day that you ended up FaceTiming them?

Yeah, that day. That, that day that we emailed. Okay. So what was it like for you? I know I've ... They also answered some questions for me, but what was it like for you to connect with them and to see, like, how much connecting with you meant to them? Oh I mean, my, my birth family is so much like me and there's a lot of, like, insecurity and just, like, don't wanna step on toes and whatever.

And so I, I think them seeing me... Like, I mean, when I first saw their faces, it was just tears. Like, tears. And we- I didn't wanna step on their toes too, so I didn't know how to ask for a FaceTime, but I just felt like I should. And we all got on, and when I saw that, like, I looked, like, every single one of them, it was just, it was like we had n- we had known each other our whole lives.

It didn't feel like we were just meeting, and it also felt, like, like my aunt had said, like, "I didn't really believe in angels before, and I do now." And we all just knew that this was something bigger than us, and it was powerful. I think it was so cool hearing them talk about, you know, that there were certain things that you do or the way that you are- Oh

that was just like- More ... that was their, their sister, that was their daughter. And one of the things that I love was your mom was saying, Lisa, was saying how you, like, tell people that you love them all the time. And that they were like, "Amy was exactly that way." Yes. Which I just think is so cool to see.

Like, you don't even have to... It's like the whole, like, nature versus nurture thing, like, how much of this is coming from the way that we're raised versus just who we are, like, what's innately in us. And so to hear that was, was cool to me. It's mind-boggling, and it's been so cool to study. Like, I've been raised in this household this way to be this way, and then underlying, I, I have the same food cravings that Amy has.

I have the same wild tendencies to, to wanna chase adrenaline. And just, and then I also at the same time just love everyone to where it's, like, a weird degree, to where I say I love someone- ... and they're like, "See ya." And I'm like, "Oh, gosh." And then I ... It's just so, you know, but it is so real. I, I feel like I sh- I, I am taking her legacy and combining it with mine and finishing that out for her.

That's how it feels. Yeah. Well, I loved you recently posted an Instagram video where you sang a song where you talked about how- You, essentially what you just said, like f- you're finishing out something that she was never able to finish. But you talked about how Amy gave you such a gift in the opportunity to be able to be raised by your adoptive parents.

So when you think about that decision, especially I think, McKenna, like, you are not far off from the age that Amy was making those decisions. So when you think about that decision that she made and how your life has been different because of it, how does that make you feel? Oh, my gosh. Well, without her making that decision, I would have no parents.

I would be raised by my, my grandma, which would be fine. I, I, I wouldn't have been raised in this gospel. I, I wouldn't have what I have right now. And, and I, I would've had a beautiful life either way, but it's like Amy knew that in order for me to become who I am meant to become in this life, who the Lord needs me to become, he needs to give me to Gerrit and Lisa, my parents.

And, and it is, it is really unique how she chose them. Like she... My, my dad wrote her a letter. She got letters from, from a bunch of parents who were wanting to adopt, and, and it stood out so much in, in my dad's letter specifically how much my dad loved my mom. And Amy loved that and was like, "If he loves his wife as much as he's going to love this baby girl, then she will have a perfect life."

And my parents love each other so much, and I had such a perfect life growing up. And I'll, I'll... Obviously, trials come and adversity comes, but I can still say that without Amy I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be a singer. I, I wouldn't be the McKenna that I am today without Amy making that sacrifice and choosing to allow me to be raised somewhere else by other people.

Yeah. Which I think is just, like, such a, such a tribute to everybody involved in that. And I don't know, I think adoption is beautiful. And we've actually... I don't... I'm trying to think. I'm like, have we had somebody on All In that was adopted? I think we had an adopted, adoptive mom. Hmm. But I think that it's an important, it's an important thing to realize what a gift.

Such a gift. It affects, like, my, my grandma and all my aunts and my uncle, it hurt them, too, to have to watch Amy fall in love with this baby and then choose because she knew that the Lord was asking her to, choosing to trust him, be all in, and let it happen, and she did Yeah. Pretty remarkable. Mm-hmm. Um, I want to touch on the American Idol audition.

Um, I already said I think it's, like, the most beautiful 10 minutes of reality television ever. But in that audition, you sang There Was Jesus by Dolly Parton and Zach Williams. Is that right? Yep. I think that that song, like, that whole segment would've been so beautiful. It was, like, made for television.

It's just like magic, you know? But it would not have been as powerful to me if it weren't for the fact that you have the voice of an angel and you were singing this song about Jesus being a part of your story. And, um, I applaud American Idol for even allowing moments like that on television. Mm-hmm. I think they've done a really good job, especially in recent years, of, of making sure that people are able to share their faith.

But talk to me about choosing that song and what it means to you that Jesus was a part of that moment. Oh. The thing that I'm realizing, like, the older I get is that no matter what you go through, Jesus is there. Like, like, I did this, I did this, I did this, but Jesus. I did this, I did this, I did this, but God.

This happened to me, this happened to me, but God does this. And so I, I felt like there was Jesus for me. I mean, it says in, in the song, like, "The friends I used to have don't wanna hang out with me anymore. When, when, when the times I wanted to give up, there was Jesus." And so I, I felt like I was there, even able to audition because of Jesus.

And even though I had gone through all of that adversity with addiction and mental health, and I, I couldn't help but just realize there's one common denominator here with all of this, and it's Jesus. Like, through the waiting, through the hurting, through the, through the, the healing, through the storms and every trial that comes, there was Jesus And I think that's just my story, and I'm so grateful because they, they usually...

Behind the scenes of American Idol, you have to have, like, three to five songs ready to audition, and they have say over what you audition with. Okay. And so I could've, they could've chose a different song for me. Right. And they chose that for me, and it ended up changing my life. I actually wrote a song called But God, and it is, like, the same...

It's, it's my story, the same story as There Is Jesus and it's just in a different font. And it is what I just hold onto, is that no matter what's going on, God is there and Jesus is there, and you're not alone. And as long as you're not alone, you're gonna be okay I love that. When you look back on that experience on American Idol where you were able to share that message with so many people and so many people were able to hear your voice and they were able to hear your story with your birth parents and with your adoptive, your, the people that you call your parents today- Mm-hmm

what do you kinda take away from that whole American Idol experience? I think my biggest takeaway is it showed me what real love is. I, I think I'd been looking for love in the wrong places all leading up into that moment, whether it's through substances or, or not good people or, or whatever. And, and in that moment of American Idol, I was so secured in knowing that I was loved, and not because of the millions of eyes that were on me, but because of how many people that I knew and loved showed up and supported me, and also how many people showed up and supported my birth family and made them feel included when they're so shy and so reserved.

And it just felt like community that I was given, that God had been waiting to show me, because I had been so isolated for so many years. He just showed me, like, that if I just wake up, like, there's so much good around me. Like, I didn't care about the numbers at the time or just the amount of people watching.

All I wanted to do was just be with my family, my two families, and all of my friends, and that was the most healing and memorable experience to this day. McKenna, how has getting to know your birth family and then getting to see them spend time with Lisa and Garren and, and the rest of your family, like, h- having those two parts coexist, how has that helped you better understand who you are?

Oh, on one hand, I've got, like- My mom and my dad and, and, and the strength that they pour into me every day. When life gets hard, you keep going. And, and there are, there are moments when those terms haven't quite applied to me or stuck with me, and, and I've often wondered, like, where, where, where that comes from and where I come from and, and why I feel emotions so heavily and all of these things and that make me me.

And being able to, like, call my mom about a problem and then call my birth grandma right after, and she's like, "Oh, sweetie, you get that from me." And I'm like, "Awesome. That's g- that's great." And it, it just, it's been so beautiful too, like, knowing... I mean, my, my cousin through my birth family is getting married in Gilbert right next to my parents' house, and just knowing that they're all gonna come down to, for the wedding and that my family just can't wait to see them and spend time with them.

It, it's just such a blessing. I, I didn't... I already have such a big family, and you have such a big family. Like I, I've got a Jones size family of Breinholds, and now I've got even more. And they're allowing the connection to happen, and so are my parents, and that is God and Amy, for sure. For sure. I love that so much.

It is very clear, and has been clear throughout this conversation I'm sure for people listening, but I feel like I have seen it as well on a personal level, a love that you have for Jesus. And also, I think, you know, before we ever started recording, you were talking about how you have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and that sometimes that is not an easy thing when you're trying to pursue a career in Christian music.

Um, and so talk to me about how you would put into words what Jesus has done for you, and then I'd also love to know, like, why you continue to believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Man, I don't, I'll, I'll do my best. Such a, there's so many things, but I, I, I love Jesus so much. I believe that I've, I started to really fall in love with Jesus when The Chosen came out, and I never watched it when it had first start kind- started coming out.

But once, once Season 6 had fully come out, or Season 5, I had binged it and fallen in love with Jesus in a way that I just saw His heart and understood it in a way that I haven't been able to, like, read in the Book of Mormon or in Scripture. And That truly I have, once I saw and was able to visualize how life would've been back then around Jesus, I can now visualize Him actively being a part of my life now.

And I do not think anything is a coincidence. Like, if I have all greens when I'm driving, it's- Like, if, if I have all reds when I'm driving, it's also Jesus saying, "Hey, you need some patience today." And so including Him in every single thing to, like, almost, like, a delusional level where I'm like, I don't know, just, just the littlest, dumbest things to where I'm like, "I'm so craving ice cream right now, but my favorite ice cream place just closed.

Like, what the crap?" Like, I feel like everything's a lesson. And I'm just including Him in everything I do, and it has brought so much joy and, like, partnership and feeling like I'm not alone in this scary journey because we all go through, like, the heaviest things that are so unique to us. But the one thing in common, that we have in common is that Jesus felt every single thing.

And when I process that, like, when I'm, like, literally laying in bed at night and thinking about everything I've gone through, everything you've gone through, and everything everyone listening has gone through, Jesus has, too. And just knowing that He's just kinda sitting at the end of your bed, like, watching you in your days and smiling at you and crying with you, it, if you can picture that and ex- and, and visualize that and include that in your life, there is so much more hope and peace and joy that comes throughout your days.

And that's why I love Him so much, is 'cause He lets me bug Him 24/7 and hang around Him 24/7. Even when I don't feel like He's around, I know those are the moments that He's actually just carrying me, and that's why I can't see Him, 'cause He's behind me and carrying me. And so it's... I, I love Him and, and that's why.

It's 'cause He has saved me through every hardship that I've ever gone through, and I know He will continue to do that no matter what comes. I, uh, love the example about the green lights. My friend Katie, she always says, like, she's like, "I just get a kick out of, it makes me so happy when I don't hit any red lights."

And every time that happens, I'm like, "That is so cute of you talking about God." And, and so I think, like, being able- So cute. Yeah. Is, I think being able to see God in our, in our day-to-day is, like, that's the reason that the scriptures say, like, "Remember," you know? Because if we just, if we leave Him out of it, then it becomes so easy to forget.

Yeah. But if we just remember Then we see him everywhere, and he is in every detail of our story. Okay, as far as the church goes, what keeps you going as far as the church goes? Oh my gosh. I've left the church. I've gone to millions of churches. And what keeps me going is, is this a place that I can go to and feel like I can fully grow with the Lord and feel like I can be my best self and learn to be my best self?

Yes. Is this a place where I feel the most joy? Yes. Is this a place where my family is? Yes. And is this a place where I can serve others, um, and learn how to do that? And yes, and, and I think those are like... Someone had told me that when it comes to, like, why they, they stay in the church, and I was like, "I'm gonna take that.

That's really cool." Because yes, I know this church is true, but I, I can't help but feel like my cup is overflowed here, and I've been elsewhere, and my cup doesn't feel full. I, I feel like why not learn about more and more and more? And, and I feel like I am in a church that helps me keep learning. I feel like it's ever-growing, and I'm always finding out new things that are helping me keep going and keeping me faithful with Jesus and with God.

And I mean, I also, when I had left for, for several years, I, I was asked to sing at a lot of, um, stake conferences and, and wards and singles wards and, and in those moments I would, I wouldn't go to church, but I would just show up for my time that I had to sing and then I would leave. And I would always go to the parking lot before I had to sing, and I would have a panic attack and feel unworthy to be here, Satan's whole sh-spam that he does.

And there was one day that I decided to stay in the chapel instead of just leave, and, um, I felt a voice in my head say, "Come back next week." Like, "This was nice. You should come back next week." And so I just kept coming back, and I, I have never stopped coming back since that I think it's so cool, one thing that I've loved about hosting this podcast is that you've realized that God does talk to individual people the way that they talk.

You know? That He, He talks to us in a way that is familiar, it's comfortable to us. And so like when you talk about how you hear Him, it's different than the way I feel like I hear Him. Yeah. And I don't think that's a coincidence. I think that's... It's kind of goes back to President Nelson's whole hear Him thing.

But I, I love knowing that He knows each of us so uniquely that the way that we hear Him is unique to us. Like how crazy is that? That He can literally... Like it is so customizable for every single human being that is living and will ever live, and has lived. Yeah. It is- Yeah ... incredible. And to say to you, I think the, the, the part that made me think that is the way that you said that He said, "This has been nice.

Come back next week." You know, it's just like- ... just comfortable, you know? Yeah. You've, you felt good. Come back next week. McKenna, is there any song that you would like to sing? Oh my gosh, yeah. Yeah. 'Cause we... I would love to have you sing. That is so nice of you. And I mean, I, I've been singing all weekend, so we'll see how my voice sounds, but I...

the song that I had talked about earlier, But God, it, it really talks about... it's, it's a, it's a there was Jesus in a different flavor. It's... and font. It's telling my story from the beginning where I was doing things that, that were tearing me down. I was doing things that made me feel unworthy of God's love I...

and even though I was not. But even though I was doing that, But God. But God came chasing after me, but God said, "Child, you are mine. I will not let you go. Um, no matter what you do." Like you... I was doing drugs in my car, and I was living in my car for months, and pushing everyone away that I loved, and God said, "You are mine, and I will not let this pain go to waste."

Okay, so, so I wrote But God. Hey, perfect. Um, okay. We'll have you sing it, and then we'll do the all in question. Okay, perfect I was sitting in the car shaking hands with rock bottom. Looking at my tear-stained face. Thought I was finally too far, world falling apart. People said I'd never be saved. Started praying to the heavens.

Full of shame deep in my chest. Coming undone, thinking no one could heal this brokenness. But God came chasing after me. I blinked and suddenly His love and mercy was rewriting my story. Oh, but God said, "Child, you are mine till the end of time." My soul is done with running, and my heart belongs to nothing but God Finally find an anchor holding to my savior.

Doesn't mean it's not still hard. But every time I look back, ain't no doubt I know that I never could have come this far. But God came chasing after me. I blinked and suddenly His love and mercy was rewriting my story. Oh, but God said, "Child, you are mine till the end of time." My soul is done with running, and my heart belongs to nothing but God.

Oh, oh. Oh, but God. Oh, oh. I've tasted and I've seen nothing's as good as Jesus is. My shepherd and my king, nothing's as good as Jesus is. I've tasted and I've seen nothing's as good as Jesus is. I'd be lost forever without Him. But God. And I'll end it there. Save, save a little surprise. I'm, I'm releasing it later this year, so.

It was so good. Thank you. So, so good. Thank you so much. That, I just think when you, uh, interview somebody that is a musician and you don't have them sing, it's like, what were we doing here? That was a miss. That's so nice. I, I'm so... You're so nice for wanting to have me sing. Oh, you were so good. I was nervous.

Thank you for doing that. I was a ball. The smoke has found in. Please. But that's what- No, it's good ... Ryan Roberts liked on American Idol the most, so we'll run with it. Yes, yes. Um, okay, McKenna, my last question for you is what does it mean to you to be all in the gospel of Jesus Christ?

To me, all-in means that whenever adversity comes your way, whatever that may look like, no matter how heavy it is to carry, um, you choose to trust God and His plan enough to continue moving forward, to trust that He will never waste our pain, to trust Him enough that even when things in our lives do not make any sense whatsoever, we still show up and we keep taking those steps forward.

It means letting Him carry you when you can't carry yourself. I believe that's the biggest surrender and requires so much vulnerability and trust and courage to keep going when you feel like life is hard and you don't have all the answers, and to put all your trust into Jesus Christ and God. I believe it requires to be all-in in, in order to do that.

So well said. McKenna, thank you so much for sharing your story and your talent with us. Morgan, thank you for having me on. I'm so grateful

We are grateful to McKenna Breinholt for joining us on this week's episode. You can find McKenna's music on Spotify or iTunes or wherever you listen to your music. We're also grateful, as always, to Derek Campbell of Mix at Six Studios for his help with this episode, and we'll look forward to being with you again next week