Lola Ogunbote: Celebrating What Makes Us Who We Are

Morgan Jones
We often hear America described as a "melting pot." Our guest on today's podcast is not from America, but as I listened to her share her experiences and unique background, I couldn't help but think about how we are all individually a melting pot—a combination of our heritage, our culture, our beliefs, and our experiences. These things all combined to make us who we are and I think that's pretty beautiful.

Lola Ogunbote was born in Nigeria but was raised in London, England. She has a law degree and was a practicing barrister before giving it all up to become a youth soccer coach for Arsenal within its community football department. She is now the head of soccer at Beijing Royal School, coaching their U16 and U18 teams.

This is All In, an LDS Living podcast where we ask the question, "What does it really mean to be all in the Gospel of Jesus Christ?" I'm Morgan Jones and I am so honored to have Lola Ogunbote—did I say that right?

Lola
You did!

Morgan Jones
Welcome, Lola.

Lola
Thank you so much, Morgan, it's a pleasure to be here.

Morgan Jones
Well, I just think everybody's going to listen to this episode and they're just gonna be like, "Her accent is what dreams are made of."

Lola
Maybe, maybe, maybe. Yeah, I hope so.

Morgan Jones
I love it so much. I love it so much.

Lola
Thank you.

Morgan Jones
So, Lola, you were born in Nigeria?

Lola
Yes.

Morgan Jones
But your parents came to London. How old were you when they came to London?

Lola
So I was about 18 months, two years old. So I was very I was a baby—very, very young.

Morgan Jones
Okay. So you've been raised in London basically your whole life?

Lola
Yes, East London. Shout out to all my East London crew. But yeah, East London's predominately where I grew up, went to school. And my parents still have a home there. So that's where the family house is.

Morgan Jones
Okay. And from what I understand, your parents came to London in hopes of giving their children a better life. What does that mean to you in retrospect?

Lola
Yeah, I think my parents, my father particularly, he was in his late 20s at the time, newly married. And I think actually left within a week or a couple of days after being married for Scotland to do some education, to kind of try and get a good job, with the view of given us the opportunities that perhaps he didn't necessarily have when he was young and our age. And so I think as a kid growing up, you don't necessarily understand the magnitude or the sacrifice that entails—being far away from home, far away from friends, coming to a foreign land and trying to make it. And so as an adult, I look at that and I think that's incredible that they had that kind of discipline and that kind of vision. And so, for me, it means that there's no room for failure. Somebody has already gone to great lengths to give me opportunities. And so I think it would be disrespectful, in a way, to fail because so much has been sacrificed for opportunities that they didn't have. So it's a motivation, it's a pressure, but it's had me in good stead. It's been a good journey so far. And I attribute a lot of that to my parents and their sacrifices.

Morgan Jones
Yeah. We're going to talk a little bit about the journey that you've taken in terms of your career. I noticed in some of the interviews and things that I watched, that it seems like your parents have driven a lot of choices that you made, and that makes a lot of sense. Because it's like, they sacrifice so much to give you opportunity.

Lola
Yeah, yeah. And you know, as a parent, I'm not a parent, but I can imagine as a parent, every parent wants the best for their child. And so as much as they're able to, they're going to try and put you just in the best kind of situation where you can develop and grow and become. You know, I think one of the things that my father always used to say is, "I just want you to have it better than what I did. I want to give you what I didn't have." And naturally, you know, I have a lot, I feel like I've been blessed with a lot. And, when the time and should the time come, I want to do the same. I want to give my kids even more than what I had, if that's even possible. And so it's a mindset, it's a mentality and it's something that I, you know, I'm eternally grateful for. I can't even put into words—like how much what they have done has helped me be who I am today.

Morgan Jones
Yeah. What do you understand about the way that your parents were raised in Nigeria?

Lola
Nigeria, for those that don't know, it's located in the west of Africa. It's a vibrant, colorful, loud, sunshine, chaotic place. And they grew up, my parents, my mother grew up in the southern part of Nigeria and my father grew up in the north. My paternal grandmother is a practicing Muslim and my paternal grandfather is Christian. So my dad was able to kind of have the best of both experiences growing up. Nigeria is a very pious and religious place. It's a place that you can have a conversation about God. I think there's probably, you know, more churches per square mile than there are Starbucks in New York, you know, churches everywhere. So it's a place of people who understand what it means to know God. And I think in places where you sometimes don't have a lot, you often find that those are the places that are more receptive to religion, more open to understanding that there's a higher power, that there's something bigger than them. And so Nigeria is very much like that. It's very family orientated. We love music, we love food, it's a great place. I love it. I try and visit as often as possible, at least, you know, once a year. And I was just recently there last June and yeah, it was a great trip. So yeah, it's a phenomenal place. And that, that kind of, you know, big personality, big, big style, love and laughter is very much part of our culture and was very much part of my childhood. My parents brought that into the way that I was raised as well. So yeah.

Morgan Jones
I love listening to you talk about that, just because I think it's cool that even though you didn't grow up in Nigeria, it's clear that that's so much a part of who you are and you're proud of it.

Lola

Yes, yes. And I think you know, it's weird because I was born in Nigeria, I came to London when I was very young, but my parents were very good about instilling strong Nigerian values. And so it was kind of weird growing up because, in the home, I had this abundance of like, Nigerian-ness if I can call it that way. And then I go to school and I'm with my English friends, my British friends, and their upbringing is completely different from mine. And it was just this kind of combination of juggling both worlds and both cultures and I'm equally proud to be from Britain too. And so it's great to have both these cultures that really make me who I am, but I wouldn't be Lola without one or the other, actually. So it's great that I am in a situation where I can have the best of both, so to speak.

Morgan Jones
Absolutely. I want to talk about another part, obviously, of who you are which is a member of this church. When did your family come in contact with the gospel of Jesus Christ?

Lola
So, as I mentioned, my father came over to the United Kingdom to pursue studies, and then came to London, and was working and met the missionaries, took the discussions, and was baptized. My mother, at the time, was still in Nigeria. I think she if I remember correctly, was able to attend the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Nigeria, they had a bunch there at the time. And she was able to kind of you know, get familiar with the church and they joined—my older sister was around four or five at the time, they were sealed in the London temple. And then I came along. So they had a very positive experience, I think it was probably, I want to say early 80s, mid-80s. So they have been in the church for a while, and they'll tell you that it's probably been one of the best decisions that they've made so far.

Morgan Jones
What does the gospel mean to you and your family? Like how has it shaped who you have become?

Lola
That's a great question. We're talking about cultures, we're talking about being from different places. I think in addition to being Nigerian, in addition to being British, I'm also a member of this church. And so there's like these three cultures that I'm kind of balancing. And like many people, you know, I was born into the church, I grew up, I spent all of my life in the church. It's not always been a smooth sailing journey. I've had to question and discover and find out for myself if this is something that I want to do. I think when your parents are key and instrumental in your gospel journey, it's easy to kind of lean on them and not know for yourself. It's kind of, "Yeah, Mom and Dad go to church, we go to church, it's just an expectation." But being in London and just the way that the culture is over there, you're stretched, you're pushed, you're exposed to different ideas, schools of thoughts. And so, naturally, you have to ask yourself, like, "Is this really for me? Is this what I want to do?" And it's interesting that you know, this is an "all in" conversation, but that is literally my personality. I'm either all in or all out, which can be a good thing and a bad thing, depending on the context. But I've come to the decision that this is where I want to be. This is the lifestyle that I think best suits who I am. I've tried other lifestyles, and they've been temporarily fun and rewarding, but not joyous. I think there's a difference between being happy and having joy. I think that this church just brings me that level, another level of joy. And it's taken me a while to get there, but now that I'm here, I know that it's where I want to be. I'm here to stay. Obviously, you never know what life can bring, but I'm quietly confident that this is it for me. And so yeah, that's what it means. It means that I'm committed, I'm in and I'm just trying to be a good person. And I feel like this is a good vehicle to encourage me to do that.

Morgan Jones
Yeah. I want to touch on something that you just said really quickly before we move on. And that is the difference between temporary happiness and joy. What do you think is the difference between those two things?

Lola
I think happiness is—I think we've heard it put before "good, better best." And I think happy can be in the good/better phase, but joy is in the best phase. I think joy is just another level of happiness, a deeper level, a more fulfilling level. I would probably add a more spiritual level as well, to some degree. It's all-encompassing, it's bliss. And I think happiness can sometimes be temporary, it can be dependent on the circumstances, it can change. Whereas I think joy is an inward deep assurance that things are the way they are, and it works from the inside out. Whereas happiness, maybe arguably, could be the reverse, I don't know. But I just feel like joy is just on another level. And that's what I'm trying to achieve is to get to be just to be joyful. To have that kind of assurance that I'm in the right place and this is what brings me joy, rather than a fleeting moment. This is what's going to be good for the rest of my life.

Morgan Jones
Yeah, I think that is spot on. So cool. So, Lola, where do you live now? Because I tried to like figure it out, to be honest. I was like, okay, at one point she was here, them she was in China. Where are you at?

Lola
Right. So I actually live in China right now. And I live in Beijing, which is the capital. I've lived all over, but currently, I'm working and living in China.

Morgan Jones
Okay. And how do you like that?

Lola
China's wild, it's a crazy experience, but it's great. I don't know that I had much of an idea about what China was like other than what you see on the news, but I've been pleasantly surprised. The people are warm, they're friendly, they're open-minded, accommodating. Of course, it's run differently, Government-wise, to a lot of other places. And that has its pros and cons. I feel safe. I feel like I have a great lifestyle, a great network of friends in and outside of the church. You know, there's a Cheesecake Factory in Beijing.

Morgan Jones
What more do you need?

Lola
Well, I mean, that's life like you've got Cheesecake Factory, you're done. So it's, it's great. I mean, I get to climb the Great Wall of China, randomly, like, if I wanted to. It's huge, China is a huge place and so many different provinces and so many different cultures. But I've very much enjoyed my time there. I've been there for about two and a half years and it's been a great experience so far.

Morgan Jones
That's awesome. So I'm curious, as someone who's lived in different parts of the world, traveled a lot, what do you think—I would like to be able to give listeners who maybe haven't traveled as much or lived in different places, an idea of how being a member of the church internationally may be different than being a member of the church in the United States.

Lola
I think—I'll speak about my most recent experience, which is China. Because of the restrictions and the government's preferences, we are unable to meet with the Chinese nationals. And so the laws require us to meet separately. So ex-pats meet separately and we aren't able to proselyte, we are not able to share the gospel with Chinese nationals, which is so opposite to our message and how we operate. So every Sunday we have a statement that's read out by whoever's conducting the meeting, to remind us about the agreement that we have with the government in order for us to establish good relationships, we agree that we will not actively or passively proselyte to the Chinese nationals. And we sometimes have people come in and make sure that we're running things in the way that we have agreed. So that's different, very different from anywhere else that I've worshiped before.

Morgan Jones
Right.

Lola
The other societies, I think when you are abroad, I think the church works exceptionally well in the sense that your branch becomes your family. So we have branches in Beijing, we have three branches in Beijing. And the people in that branch are absolutely my family. I depend on them for everything. Sundays have taken on a new dimension for me. I think being in London, I took it for granted. It was like yeah, that's Sunday, it's great, next. But in a country that isn't a Christian country by nature, it is very different from places like the US, the UK, you feel that you need church and church needs you. And so we look out for one another, we're socializing together on Sundays, we're together during the week. We're a close-knit family. It's like, I really wish that church was like this everywhere. I think in the UK and the US, especially in a place like Utah, where, you know, you go to church with your neighbor, right? Like, there's a church in every corner, and you know, everybody and you see them and maybe there could be an argument that you kind of take that for granted. And so sometimes you might not want to run into your neighbor in the week because you know you're gonna see them after work, you're going to see them at church, it's like there's just no respite. But the opposite is true in China because I know I'm not going to see them in a week, because we're so busy. And Sunday is just the day that we just are like, "Wow, I just spent a whole week and I haven't seen you like this is crazy." I really love the fact that we're worshiping together. And so I think my view is that the church operates a lot better when the members really have a need to rely on each other. And I don't think that's unique to China. I think that could happen in places in the US and UK. But there is a real strong sense of unity, family, and acceptance. And we all know that we cherish our Sundays more than I think. I think that people in Beijing would agree we cherish our Sabbath day a lot more than we would if we were in our respective homes.

Morgan Jones
So interesting. Lola, do you feel like we're getting better at being an International church?

Lola
I feel like more steps are being taken to be more inclusive and more accommodating. Is there room to do more? Absolutely. Has it been worse in the past? Absolutely. So I think it's great to acknowledge the progress and the attempts that the church is making to be more inclusive, to recognize that this isn't, you know, a lot of times, you know, people would ask me, what church I go to, and I'd tell them. They'd be like, "Oh, that's the American church." And it's like, well, actually, it's not American anymore. Like, you know, there's a lot of members outside of the United States of America that identify as being part of this church. And so I think, naturally, those that are making decisions are realizing that and thinking, "Hang on, what can we do to make sure those members don't feel like they're being brushed aside or being neglected or being swept under this whole, you know, American model." And so it's great that we have ward's the Spanish speaking, are Mandarin speaking, that we've got the Genesis group that came.

Morgan Jones
I love the Genesis group.

Lola
Yeah, the Genesis group is awesome. And so you know, there are all these kind of attempts to make sure that people feel comfortable in who they are, whilst they're still worshiping. And for a lot of times, it's hard, you know, you're being asked here to embrace this culture, this church culture and of course, there's a massive difference between the doctrine and church culture, but there is a church culture. And when you're coming from someone like myself, with a Nigerian culture and British culture and then you go to a gospel culture or church culture as well, it can be overwhelming. And so it's great that the attempts are being made to make sure that we can still remain who we are, without having to kind of throw that aside. And that we are accommodating our differences and celebrating our differences, because I don't think it has to be negative. I think difference is a beautiful thing. I would hate for everyone to be the same, it would be really boring. So it's great that we are doing more, I would like to see more being done. But you know, the church is a massive organization, and we have to do things in steps and gradually and so I hope, you know, my grandkids are in a position where, you know, it's moved even further along the line. But yeah, I think the church is doing what it can to make sure it's becoming a bit more reflective of the makeup of our church.

Morgan Jones
Yeah. I appreciate that perspective so much. I want to kind of transition into talking a little bit about you and your career. I think this is fascinating. So you went to school to be a lawyer.

Lola
Yeah, I went to law school.

Morgan Jones
And from what I understand, someone told you, in quotes, "People like you don't become lawyers." Which, I'd like to smack that person.

Lola
Yeah. So I think I mentioned that in a video that I've done before. I remember being probably around 12 or 13, 14 around that time, we had a careers day at school. And in the UK lawyers are called "barristers." And I'd never come across this term before. And so I remember going up to the stand and asking this teacher what like, "What's this stand about? Like, what's this word? What does it mean?" And she was kind of like, "Don't about it like people would like you don't really get into this profession." Like I was very athletic, I love to sing. And so she was like, you know, like, you got a great voice, you're really athletic, why don't you see what the track and football team have got going on. I just didn't think anything of it but I went home and relayed the message to my father and he was kind of like, "What? No, you can be whatever you want to be." And my dad's always been like that, whenever you put your mind to, whatever you want, you work hard, and you can get it. And I think, you know, that was probably the only reason why I became a lawyer is because somebody told me I couldn't, which is kind of a not the best reason.

Morgan Jones
Do you know what's so funny, my dad is a lawyer and he had a teacher in high school that made some comment to him that he couldn't. And then that was like his motivation. So there must be something to that.

Lola
Yeah. So yeah. I took that and I was like, "Okay, well, somebody's telling that I can't, I'm gonna show them that I can," and I did. I went to law school, I did undergrad, did my post-grad and qualified and began lawyering, so to speak. So yeah, I did that for a while. And I've always loved football though, football or soccer for our American friends.

Morgan Jones
I think it's more fun to call it football.

Lola
Really? People will be like, "Wait, she plays football?" Yeah, I've always loved it. Neither of my parents play soccer or football. None of my siblings do. So I really don't know where this love or talent came from. But from a young age, I found that this was my calling and I wanted to pursue it. I think it's fair that you know, my parents being immigrants to the UK were more concerned about pushing me down the educational route. And so I didn't get to pursue that passion of football to the extent that I would have liked and I decided that yea, you know, getting an education was important, and I'd go to law school, I did that. I lawyered, I enjoyed parts of it, I detested other parts of it. And then I got to a stage where I was like, look, you know, life is short. And I want to live a life where I'm happy. I want to do things that bring me joy, right? Instead of a fleeting moment. And so I quit my job and didn't have anything to go to, and then I saw an ad the same week recruiting for people that had never been coached on how to be coaches, which is very unique. So they were looking for people that had no coaching experience that they could coach them on coaching. It was with Arsenal Football Club, for those people who follow football. They're a very big, premier league group in England. And it's actually the team I grew up supporting so it was awesome and yeah. I trained with them for a year, they coached me on how to become a coach and then I off and coached on their behalf in Australia, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, South Africa, and London.

So a magnificent experience just being able to travel and see the world. And then working in an area that I love, like, they say that if you love what you do, it never feels like work. And I've been doing this for about three or four years, and I don't feel like I work. So I really feel blessed that I've been able to kind of combine love and talent and share that with others and earn because I didn't think I'd be able to make money that would allow me to be independent and self-sufficient from this. But it's happened and always been provided. And I feel very blessed that I'm in a situation where I can. I can be self-sufficient on doing something that I love.

Morgan Jones
Yeah, huge blessing. I want to come back to that. But first, I want to backtrack a little bit In regard to this comment that the person made to you, I just am curious, having lived in a lot of different places, have you experienced racism in the church?

Lola
Have I experienced racism in the church? I think without going too deep, racism in itself is a, you know, we got to figure out what our definition of racism is first. I think a lot of people are ignorant. I think a lot of people have prejudices, we all have prejudices. A lot of people can be discriminatory and some are racist. I think I've experienced all of the above during my journey in this church. Some of it has just been ignorance and just not knowing and not been exposed to other cultures and other people. So people come out with like, what I would call just dumb comments. Other people generally have a problem with the color of my skin. And that hasn't been, luckily, it hasn't been a major factor. But I have been in church situations where people have expressed that they would rather not be there because of what I look like. And that's, that's hard. It's hard to talk about, it's hard to say because I don't want to paint the church or anyone in a bad light. But that's the point I was making, before the doctrine, the culture and the people, they were very, very independent of each other. And, you know, I think I heard it once that God has to work with imperfect people, it must be very frustrating. And we have to be tolerant towards one another, and we have to show love and sometimes you have to show love to people that don't love us. And that's been a hard lesson to learn. But, you know, I have not let it destroy me completely. There's been periods where it's been harder than others and it's caused me to question whether I even want to be part of this. But I think the overarching solution or idea or thoughts is that Jesus loves me. God loves me. He created me specifically, in the way that I am. And I've come to learn to love that. It's taken me a long time. It's taken me a long time to embrace that. It's taken me a long time to be true to who I am and comfortable in my own skin. And I think as we talk about this, I've got to contextualize it in the sense that, you know, outside of the church, just in society in general, there are problems with race. Whether you see it or not, whether you accept it or not, there is a problem. There's a problem and a struggle. We've seen it in the UK, we've seen it in the United States. And so for me as a black woman, I want to come to church and escape that. And so it destroys me when I when the place that I am seeking refuge, I'm getting the same treatment that I'm trying to escape outside.

Morgan Jones
Right.

Lola
And so it's not necessarily the church, it's the people. And so that's where I then have to step back, analyze and say, "Wait, well, that's just an individual's perspective. Am I going to let that detract from my journey with Christ, my walk with Christ, my walk with God? The God that made me in His image? No." And I say it now, in a place where I'm comfortable, but it's been a battle. And I know there's a lot of people that are still battling with it, they don't feel like there's a place for them, or they don't feel that they're fully accepted. And I think to them, I would say I hear you, I understand. But seek your acceptance from God first. Seek your acceptance from Jesus, and then shelf the rest. Because we can't solve it all and I don't think it will get solved. I think sometimes you just have to, unfortunately, compartmentalize and say," I don't know why people treat me this way. I don't know why people want to focus on why we're different rather than what makes us similar." But that's got to be their problem. And you've got to not deny yourself the opportunity to walk with Christ because of small-minded and ignorant people and racist people.

Morgan Jones
Yeah. I have to tell you, as I'm listening to you talk about this, I'm like looking at you and I'm like, okay, she's articulate, she's beautiful. I just think like, of course, and I'm like, there's like tears coming out of my eyes, but I'm like, of course, there's a place for you in the church, there's a place for everyone in the church. But I'm like, of course, like somebody that is as lovely as you are, there is a place and so it's frustrating to me to hear that. But I also love that you touched on the idea that these are all individuals. And I think that if we could internalize as a people that each of us are individuals that have a role to play in making people feel accepted and feel loved, and that there is a place for them. If we just can recognize that like, despite the fact that we are just one person, one person makes a big difference in that regard.

Lola
Yeah, I think everybody, black, white, brown, yellow, whatever, everybody has a role to play. Everybody has been uniquely created to contribute. I don't think and I don't purport to know the mind of God, but I don't imagine that God wanted everyone just to be the same. I think that in His wisdom and love, Ge gave us things that make us unique. He loves us equally. He loves you, He loves me, He loves all of His children. Because he loves us there's a place for us. There has to be I just, I just don't believe that God is a being exclusive, He is a God of inclusivity. He wants us to be together. And I wish more people would step back and ask themselves, "Okay, what am I doing to include my neighbor?" And I'm not just saying that just in the event that your neighbor is black or a different color, but just your neighbor. Like, what are you doing to include them? What have you done to step outside of your comfort zone to make sure that they're comfortable? What are you doing to get to know them better? What are you doing, to make a genuine connection with them? And especially, particularly when we talk about race, I think some people find it's an uncomfortable conversation. People don't know what to say, you know, but like, I don't want to offend. We're now in a society where you know, you say the wrong thing and it's over like you'll lose your job or a lawsuit is going to be filed against you. So people just avoid that altogether, because they don't want to put their foot wrong. But I think that that also can be dangerous. We need to be loving and be able to say "Hey, you know, I don't know anything about Nigeria, but I know you're Nigerian. Tell me about it. What's your country? I've never been." People are open to talking about things that are close to them, you know. Your hair is different, tell me about your hair like how do you get it done? Like what was the process? Don't touch it though, that's key.

Morgan Jones
Rule of thumb number one: Look but don't touch.

Lola
Yeah, look but don't touch. But you know, it's curiosity because you're different. And so, you know, be open to asking. And I also think in the same way that I'm given that caution is to people that are being asked to not be quick to be offended. And I used to be that way. I used to be like you know, this person's asking questions because I'm different and being angry, but actually just been like, yeah, it's cool. I'm not going to take offense because you're asking, I'm gonna open up this dialogue and we can have a conversation about it. So, yeah.

Morgan Jones
Thank you so much for sharing all of that. I think that's so helpful. And I love on this podcast, I feel like we have a chance to have conversations because this is easy. This is like an easy space to do that in. But outside of this room, it's a little bit harder. So thank you for like encouraging that.

Lola
No worries, no worries.

Morgan Jones
So you touched on the fact that you started in this program at Arsenal for coaches—people that wanted to coach that never had coaching experience. Fast forward and you've received awards and recognition for coaching. How does the gospel influence the way that you coach and what makes a good coach?

Lola
Yeah, interesting. I think the gospel of Jesus Christ encourages me to be a good person, to love my fellow brothers and sisters. And so I feel like I'm quite an easygoing, friendly person, I think I bring that into my coaching. I want anyone that comes into contact with me and my session to leave feeling like "That was a fun session, and I was good. I would like to do that again." And so I use tools from church like, just almost like the young women's program. I'm often thinking about the young woman's program, and I had mixed reviews about it. But essentially, I knew that my leaders loved me and they cared about me. And I care about my players and I love them. And I want them to know that. I don't care if you miss a shot or you know, you miss a penny, like, I want you to feel better for playing and leave feeling like "Yeah, I'm glad I used my agency and chose to be in Lola's session. I feel better for it."

Morgan Jones
Yeah.

Lola
And so yeah, like, that's kind of, I guess a little bit of how church has influenced me. I try to be honest in my dealings with people and that means telling them if they're not quite where they need to be and delivering that in a constructive way. But yeah, I think the gospel's just about love, like just loving people and meeting them where they're at, not trying to change them. Just accepting them that okay, you're at this level, and I'm going to love here and see where the journey goes.

And as far as what makes a good coach, in my view, I think one of the keys is knowing your players, developing an interest in what they're interested in. So I try to make sure you know, it's not just about football. So my kids in China have a lot of interests outside of football. So I make sure I'm interested in that like a lot of like Kpop music, a lot of them are into other sports. They'll play basketball as well. Some of them I try to get to know them in terms of what their family life is like. So I can ask about their parents or, you know, they went on a trip, I just try to remember details so that they feel like it's not just the one cage fits all, but that I genuinely have taken an interest in their lives. I think that then makes it easier for you to then get them to do what you want them to do on the pitch. When you've got their trust, you can then deliver sessions. A good coach plans, he or she plans, prepares, and delivers under pressure. And so there are a lot of things that go into becoming a good coach and also being a mentor, because you're in a position where these kids are looking up to you and seeking guidance from you. So you need to be a good role model. I think a coach needs to be a good role model and set good standards so that your players know what's expected of them. And so my players know when it's, you know, there's a time to be silly, the time to laugh, and time to muck about. And there's a time when we have to work. And we're going hard and you know, I'm not taking no-nonsense like, you need to get this perfected. So there's a good balance and a good relationship. So I hope that they enjoy it as much as I do.

Morgan Jones
Yeah. One of my very best friends is a basketball coach. And she, a couple years ago, we were talking about coaching and she was telling me that her like strategy for coaching that season had changed. And she was like, "I decided that instead of being so focused on basketball, I decided that my goal was for each of them to walk away from the season knowing that they were loved." And that season, they won the state championship and I was like, it's so cool to see what happens when you shift that focus.

Lola, as we've talked about your unique journey, so barrister gives it up to become a youth soccer coach, which is so cool. What have you learned about unique paths in life and how God has a plan and loves each one of us?

Lola
I think, you know, just as we were touching on before, everyone's different and God, in His wisdom, created us uniquely. I spent a lot of time worrying about whether the choices I was making were what God wanted for my life. And, like am I where he anticipates me to be right now? Like, is this journey like what he had in mind when he created me? And I always used to feel like I was falling short and maybe not measuring up to the standards that God had and understand that I have for myself. And I've come to realize that you know, God just wants His children to be happy. Like you've got to be, you know, making decisions and you've got to be living by the principles and the guidelines that He has set out. But essentially, like every parent, you just want the best for your child. And so I think our paths are different because we're different. But I think they're the same in that the goal is to enjoy the journey, right? The journey of life like to do the best we can to be the best version or become the best version of ourselves that we can and make choices. And they're going to be good, bad, ugly, but those choices are going to refine us and make us who we are. And so yeah, our journeys are unique, but at the same time, they're very much similar because we're all just trying to kind of get back to where we started. And how we do that comes in different nuances and different ways, but essentially, I don't think God wants us to be unhappy on that journey, I think He wants the very best for us. And we have the gift of agency to choose what that best looks like. So I advise people that are kind of floating and worrying about where they are just to kind of take time to be in the moment and enjoy what they're doing right now. And if you don't enjoy it, have the courage, if your circumstances allow you, to change it. Because I know a lot of people are in unhappy situations and circumstances are different. That means you can't always quit your job and become a soccer coach, but you are able to make changes in your life that can make it better for you. So consider what those changes are, consider how they need to be made, and make them and you'll be better off for it.

Morgan Jones
Thank you. Well, Lola, I could listen to you talk all day. Not just because of your accent. I'm like she is so smart, like hashtag goals.

Lola
Thank you.

Morgan Jones
But before we wrap up, what does it mean to you to be all in the Gospel of Jesus Christ?

Lola
You know, I think because we've been talking today, to be all in is like this. I often speak to people who have had unfulfilled promises, who are detached or maybe distant from the church for various reasons. I think of examples like maybe, you know, not being married or not having kids or having kids that aren't the way that you anticipated. Or being lonely or having depression or anxiety or whatever that looks like and I'm not for one second, suggesting that that's an easy thing to deal with. But when we committed, we committed irrespective of our circumstances, we committed to be in this. Irrespective of whether you'll be married or have a baby or be of sound mind. I think we made a commitment to just do this. And for me, personally, and I'm not suggesting it's the same for everybody, when I say I'm all in, I'm all in despite. My membership in the church is not conditional on what I'm going to receive. My membership in the church is just that I'm in and whether I get things or not, I'm indifferent. I've made a commitment to God that this is the path I'm going to follow. And I'm in it and I'm going to do that irrespective of what happens in my life. And I hope that that is something that continues. But at this present day, that's what it means for me to be all in is that I'm following this path, irrespective of where I end up, irrespective of how I feel, irrespective of the challenges that come and they will come. But I've pledged that this is the path that I'm going to stay on. And I'm going to do everything within my power to stay on it and surround myself with people who can help me on my journey, people that will listen to me when I'm upset, angry, disappointed, on cloud nine, ecstatic, you know, to surround myself with those people that are going to keep me in good shape. And I think if that can be the focus, then I think I'll be okay. But yeah, that's it. That's what it means to me.

Morgan Jones
Perfect. Thank you so much, Lola

Lola
You're very welcome, it was a pleasure to be here. Thank you, Morgan.

Morgan Jones
Following our podcast recording, I got a message from Lola asking if she could add something to her All in answer, I absolutely love what she had to say. And I think you will too.

Lola
I also think when we talk about being all in, I was discussing something on a separate topic with a friend, but the line that really hit me in our conversation was, "I choose you." I think that's the same when we say we're all in, we say to God, that "I choose you." I choose you when things are going well. I choose you when things are hard. I choose you when I'm confused. I choose you when I'm hurt. I choose you and I'm disappointed. I choose you when I'm celebrating. I choose you when I'm blessed. I choose you when I feel joy. I choose you when life is going my way. And it's a beautiful affirmation. It's a beautiful strength. It's a beautiful way to use our agency to say to God, you know, "I'm in this with you, irrespective of what happens." And that's a mindset that I've been trying to adopt. And it's not been easy, but I really feel that when we say we're all in, we say to God, that we choose Him. And we choose Him because obviously, He chose us first.

Morgan Jones
A huge thank you to Lola Ogunbote for taking time out of her American vacation to join us on this week's episode of All In. We are so grateful to Derek Campbell of Mix At Six Studios for his work on this episode and to you for listening. We love you and hope you have a wonderful week.