Becoming the Light with Emily Orton

Kathryn Davis 00:00

We are taught that we all have a personal light from God. So how do we best shine that light so it grows brighter and brighter? Hi and welcome to magnify an LDS Living podcast where we cheer inspire and embolden each other as women and followers of Christ, we hope to use our influence to make a difference in the world. I'm your host, Kathryn Davis, a mom, a seminary teacher, and a grilling enthusiast who loves God. Light is such an important part of Emily Orton's life that she makes sure to always carry around a headlamp in case she finds herself somewhere without light. But it also carries a deeper, more spiritual meaning. She has studied out what the Savior is telling us when he says on the Sermon on the Mount ye are the light. And today we are going to discuss how our personal light grows brighter as we discover our divine self. Emily, I'm so excited that you are with us today.

Emily Orton 00:57

Katherine, it's so fun to be with you.

Kathryn Davis 00:59

I have gotten to know you a little bit over the past few months. And so I'm so excited for everybody else our magnify listeners to get to know you a little bit more. And so we have started out on magnify to ask a series of rapid fire questions. And are you ready for some questions?

Emily Orton 01:14

Let's go. Born ready as my daughter says. Born ready? Which daughter My youngest daughter Lily. She says I was born ready. Okay, I

Kathryn Davis 01:22

love that. Lily is really the cutest. She is like I love all your little posts about her. This is just a side note. But she just fills my day with light every time I see little things about Lily. It's so cute.

Emily Orton 01:37

She's the best. Yeah, born ready?

Kathryn Davis 01:39

Okay, born ready. Hey, many might not know this. But in 2014, you and your husband and your five kids set sail for a year long sailboat trip from St. Martins to New York City. I have so many questions about this trip. But what was the most surprising thing about this experience?

Emily Orton 01:59

Wow, it's the most surprising thing that comes to mind right away is that even after going to such extremes to spend time together as a family, we still had to schedule it. We still had to say hey, we can't just spend all day every day taking care of issues with the boat or, you know, sorting out running errands and stuff, we actually still had to say, hey, we're gonna stop taking care of other business and just sit together as a family. That surprised me. Probably more than anything else.

Kathryn Davis 02:28

So is that why you decided to do this trip?

Emily Orton 02:32

Yeah, we wrote a book about it. And the subtitle is why in New York City family cast off convention for a year a life changing year on a sailboat. So it's not a how to book I don't think anybody wants to follow our exact path. But why the why was because we wanted to do something all together as a family that would really unite us and help us have some deeper memories. I don't know if you've ever had that experience when you walk away from your front door. And you can't remember whether you locked it or not. Because you've done the same thing. 1000s of times, like Am I remembering what just happened one minute ago, or something that I did yesterday or last week? And I felt like our memories were all stacking on top of each other like that. And this was going to spread them out because the memories would be so unique. And we would make them together. That was a huge why I love that.

Kathryn Davis 03:24

So what would you tell somebody who is wanting to take their family on a big trip or an adventure, but they might be feeling like there are too many obstacles or logistics? Or it's too hard to actually do it? What would you say to somebody who's feeling intimidated by the whole process?

Emily Orton 03:41

Oh, yeah, I would say is totally intimidating. It is intimidating. And really, when you're telling a story, in this case, the story of your life, it's not really about what you achieve that is so triumphant. It's about what you overcome. So the fact that there are obstacles there is letting you know that that could be a worthy goal for you that it might be worth overcoming those obstacles or finding some of those answers. I know for us, it didn't come all at once. But the idea grew. And it kept being a good idea. And it wasn't something that we just wanted. It was something that we knew God wanted for us to do, as well. And so we knew with his help, we were going to be able to overcome any of the obstacles and here's the sad truth, or maybe it's happy, you know, you look at it that way. We never run out of obstacles, right? There's always obstacles, whatever it is you're trying to do. And so for me those were the things that just strengthened us and then there were... my oldest daughter, Karina, she says, new problems for everyone. You know, when you make it through one obstacle, then there's always like a brand new set of problems for you to deal with. On the other side. It's never like the end of obstacles.

Kathryn Davis 04:53

Emily, I am really excited to talk to you today about light and I remember one of the first times meeting you You pulled a head lamp out of your bag. And you said you always carry this headlamp with you. And I kind of want to know why. And When has that ever come in handy for you?

Emily Orton 05:12

Oh, gosh. So I started carrying a headlamp because somebody else had a headlamp when we really needed to see we really needed some light. We were living on the sailboat, and we had gone into town to get some ice cream. So you can imagine it's, it's a pretty tiny, it's like being in an RV with the seven of us. And then we had one guest visiting so the eight of us and we didn't have a car. So we just walked in, it was a couple of miles to get in. So it took us a while to get in. And it was fine. But on the way back, it was really dark, and the streets weren't lit. And we were going along the side of the freeway near the airport, and I was just nervous that no cars were going to be able to see us, you know, all my kids and my little baby. And this friend who was visiting us just pulled out a headlamp and he put it on, and just that one small light was enough to kind of catch the attention of drivers coming by. And so we were totally safe, we felt completely safe. And it's come in handy lots of times, actually, really, yeah, lots of times. I mean, you know, sometimes if something gets lost in the car, I'm like, Don't worry, I have my headlamp because I can't turn on the whole lights, because then the drivers gonna get distracted and it'll be unsafe. It comes in handy sometimes, if I just want to read at night with a little red, I put on the low light and just read, but also, there's a couple of times that are the most dramatic, and one is that we were visiting our friends in New Zealand and we went to the beach that day, and it was cold day. So they were building a fire, all the kids were helping gather wood, and they said you should just go check out the beach and see there's this cave down there. A lot of students sometimes hold raves in there. But hopefully you won't find anything crazy. And you can just check it out. So we went we checked it out, it was this huge big cave just sands kind of cool towards the edges of the cave where these openings to go in a little deeper. And so we had to get down on our hands and knees to crawl in there. And once we got inside we could stand up was definitely a cave within a cave scenario. And it was super, super dark in there, we couldn't see anything, you don't want to move around, you know, you don't know what's happening. So I pulled out my headlamp, you know, it's not super bright, it doesn't illuminate every corner. But we were able to just sort of scan the cave. And while we were in there, I thought I was like I had found some driftwood. But it turns out that it was actually a penguin and we found three penguins and a rook which is their nest. They're called little blues. And we just found them in this cave. And so Eric crawled back out and ran up the beach to bring everybody else to see it. And my friend was shocked because she's been looking and she'd lived there for five years. And she was always on the beaches. And she'd never seen them. And I said I only you know, like, of course you wouldn't see them because you wouldn't go this deep into the cave unless you had some light. And since I had light we we were you know, trepidatious and we went in and we found this amazing thing we were able to share with our friends that you

Kathryn Davis 08:07

wouldn't have been able to find otherwise. No, we wouldn't have dared. Yeah. Okay, so I am interested to know what you have learned about light that you didn't know before, as you carry this headlamp around with you. What have you learned about yourself as you've carried that around?

Emily Orton 08:27

Well, for me, like you said earlier, I think it is representative of the divine light that we have. And you know, my kids, they tease me for always having a headlamp, I am always wearing a backpack. Like they, they kind of tease me. But by just being myself, I've been able to have lots of really cool experiences like that. If I was worried, like, oh, people are gonna think I'm weird. If I put on a headlamp, then I would miss out on stuff like that. And so it kind of helps me realize, it's the same thing with my divine light, as with my silly headlamp is like I need to just not worry so much about being peculiar and just focus more on being my true self. And I think that means really like our divine self and figuring out what that is. I mean, I really think that mortality for all the trials and challenges, the obstacles, it's all just here for us to discover our divine self, to learn who we really are, and to start to see ourselves the way that Heavenly Father sees us the way that Jesus sees us. And the more we can see ourselves that way, the more confident we're going to be to enter their presence.

Kathryn Davis 09:39

So can you tell me a little bit more about that understanding our divine origin, how does that help our light shine brighter?

Emily Orton 09:48

Well, it helps me to know that we are different by divine design, that we don't have to be exactly like any other person. The reason we were so excited to come to Earth was not because we were like bring on the challenges, but because we saw our heavenly parents, as exalted beings, and that was inspiring enough for us to be willing to take that risk. So I know that we are their children, that we have the capacity to become like them, but that we're each unique. And that is really important part of our time here together, we didn't come here solo, you know, we came together. And I think it's because we all need our different gifts and to develop the confidence to be ourself. And I guess for me, I think one of the best ways that I can grow that light is by making and keeping covenants. And when I'm on the covenant path, there's nothing extra that I need to be doing to shine my light. It's, as I'm trying to draw closer and closer to my Heavenly Father through my Savior, I'm going to be gathering light all along the way, you know, and it starts out just this little hope. And it gets bigger and bigger as we add every little prompting, and every little kind word or every insight. Whether it's from studying our scriptures or feeling the spirit talk to you through a pop song while you're driving down the road to a friend saying just the right thing, or to you saying just the right thing to somebody else. And they say, that's just what I needed right now. And you start to recognize the Lord's hand in all these different places, and you're just gathering it up like this big basket of light.

Kathryn Davis 11:26

Well, I love that. And it reminds me what it says in doctrine and covenants, chapter 50, verse 24, it says that which of God is light, and they that receiveth light and continuous and God receiveth more light, and that light groweth brighter and brighter and tell the perfect day. And I like how you said, like, it's our divine nature to receive light. It's who we are, that we are the light, and that we can receive more light. So what have you learned about your divine nature through the principle of light?

Emily Orton 11:57

Well, there's something really cool about the word divine. And I used to be... I used to teach English and so maybe this is a little nerdy, but divine is both an adjective and a verb, the adjective one we use all the time, wonderful, delightful, like God, excellent. That's what's divine. But the verb is a little more archaic, and it means to discover or to declare. And so I think that as we gather light, it's by that light that we discover more who we are, yeah.

Kathryn Davis 12:27

What do you do to receive more of that divine light?

Emily Orton 12:31

Well, I think it's really important, first of all, just to be aware that we are divine that our nature is divine, that we are, you know, beings of light were filled with light, our physical bodies were made to help us gain truth and knowledge to recognize the spirit. For me, it's in so many different ways, right? Yes, it's in scriptures. Yes, it's in my Sunday school lessons. Yes, it's at the temple. Yes, it's in fasting. Yes, it's in constant, repeated prayers. And sometimes people will say, Oh, this wasn't a very spiritual, I'm like, It's spiritual. You're a divine being. So everything you experience is spiritual, you can learn about yourself and who you are from all of these different ways. And I think our Prophet has been really clear about how important it is for us to first and foremost recognize our identity, as these divine children of God with this unlimited infinite potential, and we just so often forget. So I think, anytime, in any experience, whether it's in nature, or in the grocery store, when we have an increase of understanding who we are, who we truly are, that's how we are gathering the light. I really do believe, Kathryn, that it's truly by discovering ourselves, learning more and more about who we are, that our light gets brighter and brighter, and we learn the most about who we are, by learning about where we came from, about our heavenly parents and our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Kathryn Davis 13:57

I love how you said that we were created to be unique. I think there's so much power in that. And I just want to know, as you've thought about this principle of light and begin to understand more who you are, your divine nature, have you been able to see some of your unique gifts and talents?

Emily Orton 14:15

That is? That's the hardest question, right? Everybody always the most to see some of their own talents. Fortunately, we do this activity in my house a lot. Every time someone has a birthday, we go around the table and everyone says something they like about that person. And they have to say something that they like about themselves as well. So I have had some practice over the years trying to figure out what are some of the things that are my gifts? Because how are we supposed to give, we don't know what we have, we can just do it better if we can actually articulate it and not be embarrassed about it or just say like, Hey, there's actually something pretty great about me, and I want to bring that to the table.

Kathryn Davis 14:55

Well, isn't that trusting our heavenly parents too?

Emily Orton 14:58

Yeah, no, it absolutely is.

Kathryn Davis 15:00

It's like trusting that they've created us, each with unique and distinct differences and talents.

Emily Orton 15:06

And yet, it's so easy to get into the mindset of self deprecation. But that doesn't give any glory to God. Right? So these gifts, I'll definitely say, they're from him, you know, they're not from me, but they're mine, he gave them to me. And for me, some of the gifts that I have are this relentless desire to learn, I am always studying, I am always wanting to get deeper.

Kathryn Davis 15:32

Well, and I just I wonder sometimes if we can recognize those gifts and talents to receive more light, if that's part of our journey, and our path is to understand and receive more light, and I love that part on the sermon of the Mount when Jesus is teaching. And he doesn't say, you can receive the light, he says, You are the light, that you are the light of the world. And I just want to ask you, what do you think the difference is between you are the light or that you just have it?

Emily Orton 16:04

That's a good question. Well, this was really interesting to me when I studied this in the scriptures, and there's also some in Doctrine and Covenants 88, about light. There's so much to learn there, right? I think that our Savior is being very literal with us. And there are several talks that say we have this light of Christ woven into our spiritual DNA. It's true, that we are light. I think it's true that that's who we are. But I also think it's true that we're meant to grow in that capacity, when Jesus Christ is telling us Ye are the light of the world. It's not just like, oh, that's a cool little tidbit about me. It's something core to our eternal nature. And He's inviting us to join him in sharing that light with others.

Kathryn Davis 16:48

So what does that look like for you?

Emily Orton 16:50

For me, it looks like that when I've made a commitment to share the things that I'm learning, since one of my gifts is to always be seeking and always be learning, it's to be willing to take the opportunities to share that with others. And sometimes I'm sharing that with my family. And sometimes I'm sharing that with a friend. Sometimes I have had just the great honor to be able to share it with women from stages or to, you know, that's why I will say yes to things that scare me, like coming on a podcast or taking a speaking assignment is because I feel like if God is opening the door, he's intending for me to keep walking forward. And so sharing the light means getting a little bit uncomfortable by being my real self in front of other people, sometimes, and it can look different for every but I really do think it just like being yourself. And it doesn't always have to sound something like so lofty, like I'm teachable, but it's like, I'm punny. You know, I make puns and I wear my backpack everywhere. And just all of the things that combined together to make you you are is going to be exactly what is needed for you to fulfill your mission here in this world. And you're exactly what is needed for somebody else in the spheres and in the moments where God places you. And so we don't need to try to cover up who we are. I think the whole journey is for us to uncover who we are in collaboration with our Heavenly Father.

Kathryn Davis 18:21

Well, isn't that what he says when he's on the Sermon on the Mount? He says you are the light. Don't hide it under a bushel. Yeah. What do you think a bushel looks like for us today?

Emily Orton 18:32

I think one of the things that acts like a bushel in our life can just be our own insecurity. It can say like, well, I'm experiencing all these obstacles, and I feel overwhelmed. So that must mean I'm not very capable, instead of wow, I'm getting so strong facing all these obstacles. And sometimes we take ourselves for granted or we forget who we really are, we forget that we are literally the offspring of God. And we have these really self limiting thoughts. And that's why it's so essential for us to always be seeking more light. It's just one of the things I know is that the Lord is never seeking for us to shrink. He is always inviting us to step forward to try something new to expand our capacity to extend our reach a little bit more than anything to extend our reach to other people.

Kathryn Davis 19:24

To share that light. So have you felt that recently? Has there been a time where maybe you reached a little further than you thought or stepped out of your comfort zone and you felt Heavenly Father help you share your light?

Emily Orton 19:39

Yeah, I habitually step away too far outside of my comfort zone. It keeps feeling like it gets more and more intense. But one of the things that I've learned is actually really interesting. There's a lot of ways to share light. And one of the ways like I told you one of my things is that I'm a seeker I'm always trying to learn at the same time. That means I'm aware that there's so much I don't know. And I feel like I'm lacking. So for example, we had a surprise move to California in 2021. And suddenly, I didn't know anybody I didn't know anything. I didn't know my way around anywhere and, and it can take some time to adjust. I was in new job, new everything. One of the best things I did is that I reached out and asked someone else for help. I think in reaching out and asking someone for help, it's like me acknowledging, you have these gifts, you have something that I need to learn from, and I have this hole. Will you come help me fill it? I actually did that a few times. One of the times was, I knew I was going to be presenting for all of these things for timeout for women, and I live out of a duffel bag. I'm a granola camp girl. I didn't know anything about how to put myself together to be on stage. But there was a woman I met. And she did that for a living. And I said, Will you teach me how? And I came to her house one morning, and we just always stayed in touch after that. And every time I put my makeup on, I think of her and sometimes I text her. And I'm like, You gave me this confidence. And I don't know that it's my story to tell. But I will just say that we both progressed spiritually, through making this friendship connection by saying, Oh, here's a skill set that you have that I don't have, but I need will you share it with me? And sometimes feel like, we want to be in the position of giving. But sometimes asking for help is one of the best ways that we can build community. And so that's been the case for me is saying like, Hey, can you help me?

Kathryn Davis 21:40

Well, and I think that takes a sense of humility is being able to say I don't have this all under control. And that takes vulnerability. And that's something that you touched on that I want to ask you a little bit more about, because I think there are times where maybe we feel like we don't have the light, and we feel like it's dull. And I know there have been times in my life where I thought I was doing everything that I was supposed to do. Reading my scriptures and going to church and trying to attend the temple and trying to connect through prayer. And there have been times where I felt like I didn't have anything left to give and I just felt dull. Have you ever felt like that Emily? Like what do you do in times when you don't feel like you have the light?

Emily Orton 22:28

I feel that way a lot of times. I felt that way a lot of times. It's not just me and you... Enoch. He felt that way, Enoch. What? Peter felt that way. Esther felt that way. Sariah felt that way, Sarah felt that way. Even Nephi felt that way. Like first of all, just recognize, like, if I'm feeling that way, I'm in good company.

Kathryn Davis 22:52

I like that thought if I'm feeling that way, I'm in good company.

Emily Orton 22:56

I'm in good company. It doesn't make it more fun. This doesn't it doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. First of all, it means I'm seeking the light, it means I recognize the absence of light, it means I'm eager for light. But being in the dark is the hardest feeling. And when I read about Lehi's dream where he was just in the darkness for hours, I'm like, how did he go on that long? And yet, sometimes we are in that space where we feel like we've been in the dark for hours. For me, I'll tell you there's two things. One is just invoking the name of our Savior. And when I imagine like everything that he already did for me, and I really get in deliberate detail about his sacrifice in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross and in the resurrection. And then the another thing that's been really helpful for me, is to just ask Heavenly Father, am I your daughter? Like, do you love me? Do you care? Do you see what's happening here? And the answer has been the lifts that I needed to keep trying.

Kathryn Davis 23:57

I think that's powerful to keep trying. And I love what you said there that sometimes it's the recognizing that we want light, that's a win. That's a win, even if we feel like we are in darkness making those little efforts and I like that idea that it's an effort. You know, President Nelson has said the Lord loves effort and I wonder if that's kind of what it looks like. Efforts when we don't see an immediate reward but we just keep trying and Christ's light can come into our life. I like some of those ideas that you said to invoke his name and to think about the sacrifice he has already made to bring more light into our lives and that as we gather light ourselves, I think it's interesting you said this earlier that we can kind of gather a community of light Emily Why do you think that's important like the community of light?

Emily Orton 24:50

Oh, Kathryn, it's so important. Like it's so important what you're doing right here to say like we might not all meet each other everyone who's listening to the Magnify podcast but we you to know that other women are trying. Know that other women are facing obstacles that other women are leaning into the Lord and getting answers and having miracles like it's inspiring to us to keep going. And when I can have those moments where I get to listen in on a conversation about holy things, or I have a conversation with a friend, I feel like I'm in that moment where like, we came together with our little lights. You know, there's a lot of loneliness that we experience. And when we have these moments of light, that connects us. I just think we can endure so much better if we have each other. Even in my own little world, I'll run into people and they'll say, Well, you never know who you can really talk to about these things that are closest to your heart. And you want somebody that you can celebrate with you want somebody you can rejoice with, you want somebody that you can mourn with, you know, when things feel sad or overwhelming. You want somebody who's there to remind you, when you get a little too deep, the Lord's watching over you. You're not feeling it right now. But I'm feeling it right now. And it just we can just take turns lifting each other.

Kathryn Davis 26:09

I like that image, Emily. And that's to me the importance of a community and gathering as a ward or gathering as as women of faith because I think we're all going to go through those times where we might feel like our light is a little dull. Yeah. And can we reach out to somebody and have them ignite our light? To me that's gathering light is gathering together so that my light can be stronger when it's not always on its own. I completely agree with that. Emily, as we kind of close, I want to ask you a couple things that I want to ask on the day to day, how do you look for God's light in your life and to gather more light in your life? I think these are great principles sometimes to talk about in abstract. But what does that look like for Emily Orton, on a given Tuesday?

Emily Orton 26:59

Okay, on a given Tuesday. One of the things that I struggle with is distraction. And so for me looking for light is sometimes like just taking a breath, and becoming really present in what's right around me. I love to see other people and hold the thought in my head that that is a child of God, it's really a nice sort of separation from my own worries to think about how much God loves that other person, sometimes, you know, just to think about oh, he knows everything about their life, and he knows what's in their heart. And He knows who cares about them. And he knows what they're struggling with. So just to be able to look anywhere around me and see some of God's children and know how much he loves them. I just feel it, we have a question we love to ask in our family, which is what could go right?

Kathryn Davis 27:48

That's such a good twist.

Emily Orton 27:51

Right? It's not, it's not always the very first thing that comes to mind. But usually, if I'm having some down or negative thoughts, I can just take a second and think about what could go right? like keep all the momentum, but just sort of set it in a brighter direction.

Kathryn Davis 28:07

Okay, Emily, we love to end every episode with a small and simple challenge, something that we can do throughout the week, where we can connect more to God's light and God's love. So what would be your small and simple challenge for us this week to either gather more light or to let our light shine?

Emily Orton 28:28

Well, I think I have a little challenge for you. I think it will hopefully do both of those things. Because I think they're simultaneous that whenever we're gathering more light than we have more light to give. So it's a two for one. And I'm going to invite you in those moments of a negative thought to ask that question. What could go right? Because Heavenly Father tells us to fear not. And to be a good cheer, write this question down somewhere, you'll see it on a post it note or in your phone or wherever. And just remind yourself to ask that question, what could go right and then be open to the answers that come.

Kathryn Davis 29:07

I love that. It's such a different twist on sometimes where our mind naturally goes. And so sometimes it's easy to think, oh, no, what's gonna go wrong? I'm going to do I'm going to ask myself what could go right? And then the possibilities are endless. Thanks so much for being here. Emily.

Emily Orton 29:24

Thank you.

Kathryn Davis 29:25

I am so grateful for Emily and this conversation today. I think one of my favorite parts is when we talked about how our light can shine brighter as we really discover who and whose we are. Thanks for being here and hop on over to Instagram at magnify community for more inspiration and conversation. And of course, subscribe and listen to the Magnify podcast wherever you get your shows. Let's meet up again next week.