The following transcript is intended to aid in your study. However, while we try to go through the transcript, our transcripts are primarily computer-generated and often contain errors. Please forgive the transcripts’ imperfections.

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Segment 1

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This is our final lesson for the Book of Psalms, and I cannot think of a better way to end it than with a hallelujah. In fact, the traditional Jewish name for the Book of Psalms is Tehillim, and that is a Hebrew word that means praises, which is related to the exclamation hallelujah. Hallelujah means to praise Jehovah or praise the Lord.

Now, if you had to choose one word to sum up the main message of Psalms, praise or hallelujah would be a very good choice. And this week's guests, oh, they know how to praise God. They know what it means to praise God. And they know how to hallelujah. Welcome to the Sunday on Monday Study Group, a Deseret Book Shelf Plus original, brought to you by LDS Living, where we take the Come, Follow Me lesson for the week and we really dig into the scriptures together.

I'm your host, Tammy Uzelac Hall. And if you're new to our study group, welcome. We're so glad you're here. And follow the link in our description. It's going to explain how you can best use this podcast to enhance your Come, Follow Me study, just like my longtime listening friend, Andrea Hardy from Dunlap, Illinois.

Hi, Andrea. Now, the best thing about our study group is each week we're joined by two of my friends, and it's always a little bit different each week. And today I am so excited to introduce you to... You love her, folks. She's a favorite. Tamu Smith. Hey, Tamu. Hey. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. This is your episode. I am so excited.

And our guest is Tiffany Turley-Bowcut. Hi, Tiffany. Hi, Tammy. Hallelujah. I'm so excited to be here. Woo-hoo. Okay. These two, you guys, we're gonna have a blast. Now, Tiffany is a longtime listener and longtime friend. So Tiffany, what did you think when I asked you to be on the podcast? Um, it felt a little surreal.

I've listened to you for so long, so to be asked to be on it, I was like, "Wait, I... All these other people are so amazing." I started to feel insecure. But I feel like the Lord is good, and it just is kind of a dream come true. And of all the episodes, and I'll talk about this, I feel like there's a lot of things, like, here's so inspired- Yeah

'cause there's a lot in this that I'm like, "Oh, it's almost like this was made for me." So I'm really- Whoa ... excited to, to get into it. Like, God is so good. God is so good. All the time. All the time. God is good. Ah. Yes. Tiffany, tell our listeners a little bit about yourself. So I'm a wife, um, and a mom, and I am a disciple of Jesus Christ and a daughter of God, and those are probably the four most important things in my life.

Beyond that, I'm the Dean of Students at Ensign College right now, which... A job which I absolutely love. I love working with our students. It's such a sacred place. If you're not super familiar with Ensign, please get familiar with it, because it is, like, the gem of the church educational system. I worked at BYU for 12 years, so I, you know, I'm familiar with the system, but Ensign is just its own unique, um, treasure, and I'm loving it.

So yeah, that's a little bit about me. Um, yeah. I will second that with Ensign College. I have a testimony of that. It's the best school ever. My daughter... I have a daughter who went there and got her associate's. Loved it. Like, it's such a good school. So yay. Yeah, really is such a gem. So that's me. Oh my gosh.

Okay, Tammy, how you doing? Tammy, tell everybody- I'm doing great ... where you, where are you right now? I'm actually in Hartwell, Georgia, visiting my other sister, Xandra. She decided to do cousin camp at her house, and I will tell you right now, a 10 out of 10 would not recommend. Um, as a grandparent, you go through this process with 24 other kids.

20 other kids, 'cause four of them belong to me. The other ones, really, to be honest with you, it's... Yeah, okay. That's all you can say. If you know, you know. Yeah. And for the record, people, it's the summertime- ... that we're recording this, and so- It's the summertime ... it's hot in Atlanta, in Georgia. I am in Georgia.

We've been on the water all day. Um, kids have been, uh ... The youngest is three, just to kinda tell you what I went through today. She didn't wanna wear the vest. She wanted to wear the, the water muscles where you have the little thing- Mm-hmm ... that clips on you. And Zandra was like, "No, you, you, you need to wear the vest if you're gonna be on the boat."

And she starts whining and stumping her foot. And I got in the car and Z- Zandra lives in the country. I drove 25 minutes to Walmart to go get a swim vest, like, with the muscles on the side. I can't even ... It's, it's the jumper. Mm-hmm. Puddle jumper. The puddle jumper. The puddle jumper. I get back. Zandra found one, and she's playing in the water.

Then she wanted to go on the boat, and then she decided she didn't wanna wear that. So I drove there for nothing. She didn't wanna wear it because she couldn't raise her arms, and I want to pull my eyelashes out. And I value my eyelashes. So Tammy, you ready to praise Jesus then? Yes. That is all I wanna do right now, is praise Jesus.

He brought me this far, hallelujah. He delivered me, hallelujah. Hallelujah. He delivered the children, hallelujah. There are gonna be so many hallelujahs. I hope by the end of this episode that everybody listening, I want you all to become so proficient in how to say hallelujah. Not just a hallelujah. Oh, no, not a hal- hallelujah.

Hallelujah, with all your soul, 'cause this is- Yes, from the gut ... a hallelujah episode. Oh, from your gut, yes. This is gonna be fun. Okay. So those of you listening, if you wanna know who my guests are and you wanna read their bios, go check that out. You'll see a cute picture of them in our show notes, which are found at ldsliving.com/sundayonmonday.

So grab your scriptures and something to mark them with, and let's dig into Psalms 102 through 150. Okay. First things first, ladies, just tell me, what did the Holy Ghost teach you as you were just prepping for this episode? So can I start off with a little bit of a hallelujah of my own? Please. Happened last night.

So I've been preparing for this and studying a lot of different things, and there's one piece of it that I just really wasn't feeling great about. I just wasn't getting the clarity. I didn't, you know, didn't feel like I had what I wanted to say. So I went to the temple thinking I would get some clarity there.

Sat through the session, endowment session, and afterwards I was sitting in the celestial room. Grabbed a Bible. I'm so glad they put scriptures in the celestial room now. They didn't used to, and now there's, like, scriptures everywhere. So I grabbed a Bible, I'm flipping through these chapters, and I got the clarity that I needed.

And I was, like- Ah ... it was just like this moment of like, "Okay," like, "God, you're so good." So a little bit of a praise there. And then later that night in my own Book of Mormon study, um, I came across Helaman 3:27 that said, "Thus we may see that the Lord is merciful unto all who will, in the sincerity of their hearts, call upon his holy name."

And I feel like that was a little hallelujah scripture for me. Like, yes, like I was calling upon the Lord for help, and he is merciful unto all those. And so it was, like, this extra little hallelujah moment for me last night, just as I was studying. So that was kind of a cool moment. Hallelujah. Wow, hallelujah.

Yeah, that's cool. So I feel like the Lord was merciful to me, and now my job is just to not mess it up. Okay. So in thinking about what he actually, what the Holy Ghost taught me this week, um, I am not a scriptorian. I am not a seminary teacher. I am not anything but a middle-aged mom. So when I was reading about-

this lesson, and you sent me the outline, I was like, "Okay, this is great," because every four years we do these lessons. So I'm gonna go back to 2022 and listen to all the podcasts and read all the things that were printed about this, um, just so I can make myself, I don't know, sound smarter or prepared. And I just consistently got the impression, just let the Spirit guide.

Yeah. You get into the scriptures yourself, and the Spirit will teach you. And so what I was reminded of is that my own insecurities were making it a lot more complicated than it needed to be, and that- Mm ... the way I could be the best guest was by letting the Holy Ghost be my guide. Um, I feel like there was a conference talk or somewhere I heard someone say, "If you're only getting your gospel study from podcasts and other people, you're missing out by being actually in the scriptures."

And I feel like that was- Amen ... confirmed, uh, to me this week. And so as I was thinking about this, I came across Psalm 116:6, which said, "The Lord preserveth the simple. I was brought low, and he helped me." And if you look at the footnote to the word simple in that verse, it references to Psalm 19:7, which says, "The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul.

The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple." And this notion of making wise the simple, um, is actually something I've used as a theme for a lot of presentations I've done, from belonging at BYU to confidence in a YSA, like this concept that we wanna complicate things, when really the law of the Lord is perfect, making wise the simple, and we really can just simplify things.

And so that was- I like that ... to me this week. Me too. The notion that I, I don't need to get my crash course PhD in biblical studies in order to be- ... a guest on this podcast. I can simply let the Spirit teach me, dig into the scriptures myself, as you say, and trust that I could share my own unique and simple testimony.

Wow. I love that. It reminds me of the talk by Elder Uchtdorf he gave years ago about gilding the lily. Yeah. Like, we don't have to do more. Right. We need to stop adding more to what we're doing and just- Totally ... stick with the basics. When he said that talk, it was like I felt this relief off my shoulders.

Yeah. 'Cause sometimes we love to over-complicate things and make things bigger than they have to be. Bigger and better, it's what we love, and he gave us all permission to just chill out. Keep it simple. And you beautifully pointed those verses of scripture. I love that. I didn't even have 116:6 marked in my scripture, so thank you for teaching that to me.

I mean, I guess I'm a simple person, so that's where- Simple ... reading this just really resonates with me, 'cause I wanna complicate everything, and I, there's no need. Like, the, the- Yeah ... the gospel might not always be easy to live, but it is always simple, and the law of glory's perfect, making wise the simple.

Brilliant. Love it. Great job. Okay, Tammy, what do you got? Wow, I don't... How do you go after that? Oh my gosh, she makes me feel like I just- ... haven't done my homework. Um- You're the pro. I'm just trying to keep up with you guys. Look, no. I, it was just, like, uh, the, when, when I, as I thought of what I was thinking about the question, I actually, on the way here, I was having a, going back and forth with, um, a really good friend of mine who posed the question, what was Satan's role?

You know, we were going back and forth and bantering, and of course I'm, I have like 30 hours to- ... to think about it and to, as I stop, read scriptures. And, um, and then this person, they were just like, you know, we started talking about, uh, Paul, and they were saying, "You know, if you think about it, we only have this retelling of the scriptures through Paul's account."

And as I was thinking about that and reading, uh, Psalms 130, uh, verse six, "My soul waited for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning. I say more than they that watch for the morning. Let Israel hope in the Lord." 'Cause I just need to stay, my focus had to be on Christ. I couldn't focus on what Paul was doing.

I couldn't focus on what the disciples were doing. I couldn't focus on who was there and who wasn't there. It just had to, I had to stay focused on this. And so I was like, the whole time I was like, "Tammy got me reading all these books. Oh, gosh." And so, so then I was, I would listen to some and, and think about it as I'm driving.

But let Israel hope in the Lord, for with the Lord there is mercy. With him is plenteous redemption, and he shall redeem Israel for all his inequities. So as we went back and forth, this friend and I, and my friend is somebody who, he believes that, that Jesus was a good person, a prophet, but he doesn't know that he was Jesus, like the Redeemer.

And so it becomes very difficult sometime to have these conversations with him, because I'm a believer. And so when you're a believer and you're having these deep conversations, I do feel like sometimes, and I am very cautious with not to say the wrong thing, but also, uh, to protect my, my testimony. And, um, for me, that was, it just was something that spoke to my soul.

To wait for the Lord, and in His Word, hope, have hope I'm so, like I'm so glad you brought up s- Psalm 130, and that verse 5 is the most beautiful verse when you talk about not to get caught up in the whys, 'cause sometimes we do, and we need immediate answers 'cause it doesn't make sense. And how perfect is, "I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in His Word, I do hope"?

Like, we don't... I don't know the answers. I'm just gonna wait it out and hope for the best in all of this. And you've been a great example to me of that, Tamu. You do. For a lot of things, you, you have patiently waited and hoped that it all works out. So it's, it's a- Well, yeah. I mean, it just was- Great ... it was something that's really spoke to my, to me, especially with the season of life that I'm going through.

Mm-hmm. And just knowing that we do, we live in a pop- um, microwave popcorn world, you know? Yeah. We want it now. We want it, like we don't wanna, we don't wanna wait for it. We want it in two minutes. Yep. And so, and there's nothing wrong with waiting in the Lord. There's nothing wrong with, you know, standing in the Word and hoping and waiting.

Wow. So yeah. Wow. I will hallelujah both of you. Hallelujah. Hallelujah to you both. Wonderful. That was so good. Oh, my goodness, that's just segment one. Segment one, we're hallelujahing. This is so cool. Okay. Mm. So let's do this then. You guys ready to hallelujah some more? Oh, it's gonna be fun. So in the next segment we're gonna do some more hallelujahs.

Coming up next.

Segment 2

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Okay, you two, give me your very best, like we talked about, give me your best hallelujah. You ready? From the gut. Tammy, give me your best hallelujah. Hallelujah. That was good. Yes. Okay, Tiffany. I don't know if I can follow that. Uh, hallelujah. That... She did a hand. Do you see her hands come up like that? She, I did, I seen it.

Oh, hey, that, she's, she's physical. That's power. That was good. That's power, yeah. That was a good hallelujah. Okay, tell me, what does the word hallelujah mean to you personally? Hallelujah is a happy word. Like, it's a, it, for, to me personally- Mm-hmm ... I would say that it would, it would be like saying amen on steroids.

Like, halle- like, you know, you c- you say amen kinda like, amen is more an N-word word, like amen. Hallelujah is, it's excitement, it's joy. It's like, like Tiffany did with her hands. Like, her whole body said hallelujah. Hallelujah. So for me, as I thought about hallelujah, 'cause it's not, uh, it's not a word that I have used a lot, honestly.

Like, it, in our church, I wish we used it more. Um, but- Mm ... as I thought about it, I realized, I feel like hallelujah to me is a few things. It's an expression of gratitude, so what I feel when I recognize the Lord's hand in my life. Um, it's an act of trust, so something I can say even when life is tough. I focus on who God is and that His promises are sure.

I feel like it's a declaration of faith, so choosing to acknowledge God over my circumstances or even myself. Wow. And then I feel it's a response to His grace, so it's a way of saying thank you for blessings that I feel unworthy of and that I don't deserve. So really choosing gratitude and recognizing His hand in my life is what it means to me.

I always tell people that my life motto, if I had one, is, "Life is hard, but God is good." Mm-hmm. And I think I'm gonna change it to, "Life is hard, but God is good, hallelujah." Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Oh, yeah. It inspired me 'cause I'm like, that's what it is. Life is hard, but God is good, right? So hallelujah.

Hallelujah, with your hands. Hands up. Oh, that's so good. Okay, turn to Psalm 1:46. I wanna show you something really cool. The Book of Psalm, and we said at the very beginning that in the Book of Psalm, the word in Hebrew, in fact, if you just go to the very first page of S- I'm sorry. I said to go to 1:46, but if you wanna mark this in your scriptures so you have it, in Psalm, on the very first page, the Hebrew word is tehillim, and here's how you spell it.

I, under the word Psalms, I put in Hebrew T-E-H-I-L-L-I-M. And it means in Hebrew praises, and then put a slash and put hallelujah, and I'm gonna show you where. In fact, after you write the word hallelujah, put Psalm 1:46, and then we're gonna turn to Psalm 1:46. And this is so fun. Psalm 1:46 verse one, and Tiffany, can you read that for us?

Absolutely. "Praise ye the Lord. Praise the Lord, O my soul." Now, look at the footnote for the word praise, 1:46:1. Footnote A says what? Hallelujah Yes. So the word praise right there says in Hebrew is hallelujah. So right there, I'm not even making this up. In your scriptures, the word praise is literally hallelujah.

And in Hebrew, though, it's actually the word halal, that's how you say it in Hebrew. Jah is how you say Jehovah. So it really is hallelujah or jah, meaning praise Jesus, praise God. So halal means to praise, to boast, to shine, to celebrate, or to give glory. That's what all the meanings are for halal. Don't you love that?

To celebrate. I love it. We're gonna boast Jesus for the rest of this hour. So in Psalm 146 all the way until 150, did you guys notice how many times you saw the word praise? So, so many Yeah So in 146 I found it five times, 147 four times, 148 12 times, 149 six times, and then 150 it was 13 times, which is a lot, 'cause it's only six verses.

So- Yes Right ... first, which is like, uh, but so happy. It- When I read it and was counting I was like, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." It was so good. And isn't it amazing- Yeah ... how we have the very end here, the, the last book of Psalms is gonna just all be about halleluia-ing. I think I just made that word up. But- You can make up words.

Yeah. That's your perk. Yeah ... hal- halleluia-ing Jesus. Like, it's so perfect. And when you consider that Psalms are literally songs, then we have this, these last four chapters are nothing but songs of hallelujah, songs of praise. And the interesting thing that we've talked about, and you both have given these examples, is that this praise can take so many different forms for people, and it's going to involve singing, praising, or bearing your testimony.

And I just thought, what is one way that you praise the Lord in your own personal life? And Tiffany, you gave us a great example of your quote. Like, I love that. Are there any other ways you can think of? How do you praise the Lord personally? Um, so for me it is definitely not singing. Um, I, what, that is not, not how I praise.

And, and everyone should be grateful for that. Um, what's funny is sometimes I think that because I can't sing, that, like, I can't, I can't praise. Like, I can't adequately praise. And so as I thought about this, so I realized, I, I started to look to the Savior's life. Like, how did he praise the Lord? And as far as I know, it wasn't by singing.

Maybe it was, but I, I don't feel like we have any record of that. So I'm gonna rest in the fact that maybe Jesus didn't sing, so it's okay that I don't sing either. Um, but what I thought about was I'm just grateful that the Lord, as you said, provides for all different ways for people to be able to praise and to share their own gifts.

I was reading a book by C.S. Lewis last week, and as I got all this on my mind, right? This praise and all of that, and I thought the way C.S. Lewis wrote is a form of praise. And how sad it would be if he hadn't written because he was like me and was like, "Well, I can't sing either, so is it really praise," right?

But his, his writings are full of praise. Um, it's the same thing in The Forgotten Carols. I love The Forgotten Carols. Um, and there's a song called Handel's Psalm where it talks about how Handel, who wrote The Messiah, wanted to sing in the choir. And the, and it's like this dream, it's a fictional story.

But how the Lord said to him, like, "You can't, but you can write songs that the choir will sing." And so after thinking about it a lot for myself, I feel like for me it's praise is showing gratitude, um, and recognizing the Lord's hand in my life. Um, and really assuming he was involved in everything. I feel like for me, I'd rather assume he was involved and praise him than not.

And even in, like- Ooh, I like that ... littlest things, right? Like- Okay, there was no traffic on the way to work. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for the easy drive, right? Or bigger things like, okay, my child had their prayer answered. Thank you, Heavenly Father. So I think from the big things to the little things, just being willing to think like, well, God was in that.

Like, that's what I feel like my way of praising him is, and then helping people see that. And, and sometimes I write... I actually found a talk by Bruce R. McConkie from October of '73, so a long, long time ago, back in the 1900s- ... um, that was called, it's called Think On These Things. And there was a quote that I loved.

It says, he said, "I think the Latter-day Saints have a great obligation pressing in upon them to rejoice in the Lord, to praise him for his goodness and grace, to ponder his eternal truths in their hearts, and to set their hearts on righteousness." So I love that. He's saying as, as Latter-day Saints, we have the blessings of the restored gospel, you know, of, of temples, of prophets, of scriptures, of, of ongoing revelation, and we have an obligation to praise the Lord for that.

And at the end of his talk, he gave his own psalm of praise that Elder McConkie had written himself. And so I thought, okay, what is mine? And so I actually wrote one that I would love to share, if that's okay. Please. Wow. My psalm of praise. So because writing I think and expressing, I can't sing, y'all, but I think I can write.

So here is my Tiffany Turley-Bowcut's psalm of praise from 2026. Oh my gosh, this is so cool. Okay. Okay, let me get ready. Okay, and it kind of follows the same pattern that, that Elder McConkie did. Praise ye the Lord. Praise him for his love. Praise him for his compassion. Praise him for his kindness and mercy.

Praise ye the Lord. Praise ye the Lord. Praise him for blessings given. Praise him for his perfect and unfailing gospel. Praise him for restoration in these latter days. Praise ye the Lord. Praise ye the Lord. Praise him for his forgiveness. Praise him for his never-ending patience. Praise him for his constant and faithful promises.

Praise ye the Lord. Praise ye the Lord. Praise him for miracles past and present. Praise him for prayers unanswered that become blessings later. Praise him for reminding us we are not alone. Praise ye the Lord. Praise ye the Lord. Praise him for his example. Praise him for his watchful care. Praise him for his atoning sacrifice.

Praise ye the Lord. Praise ye the Lord. Praise him for experiences that sanctify. Praise him for tears that bring us closer to him. Praise him for the purpose-filled refiner's fire that he stands in with us. Praise ye the Lord. Praise ye the Lord. Praise him for his plan of happiness. Praise him for his grander vision.

Praise him for eternal blessings yet to come. Praise ye the Lord. For all these things I praise him. For all these things I thank him. For all these things I give my heart and life to him. Praise ye the Lord. So that would be- Ha- I sung ... hallelujah. Can I get hallelujah? I should have put that at the end.

Hallelujah. The spirit is so strong right now, Tiffany. Girl. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for bearing with me. I was trying, I'm like, "I don't sing, I don't praise." And I'm like, "You know what? Maybe I can follow Elder McConkie's example," and it was really inspiring to me, so I just, that's what I praise the Lord for.

And- I could tell you, I will be writing my, uh- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm ... psalms of praise- Praise, yeah. It was a really cool moment ... on the way home- I'm totally, yes ... before I get, before I get in the car with these kids. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And then just repeat it over and over. Over and over again. When the kids are screaming, yeah.

Absolutely. What a cool moment that was. That was beautiful. Mm-hmm. Thank you so much for doing that. Such a cool moment Okay, Tamu, how do you praise the Lord? Can I just tell you that I don't ever wanna go after Tiffany ever again no more. Okay, I'll have you go first. Mm. Um, my very first time ever meeting Tamu, it's one of my favorite memories ever, it was at a Time Out for Women event.

Now, I had heard of Tamu from my friend Laurel. She'd spoken highly of her, and she's... In fact, Laurel made sure that we never met, 'cause she knew if we did, we'd be friends. So she kind of kept us apart for a very long time, and then it was inevitable, 'cause we work together. And we were at a Time Out for Women event, and in the middle of someone's talk she yelled, "Hallelujah."

And I was like, "We can't do that." "What, what are you doing? You can't just yell hallelujah." Mm. And you kept doing it, and the next thing I know I'm like, "Hallelujah." It was my favorite thing. And now whenever I'm with her, and we're at, like, different events or different speaking things, I love it so much that you do it.

And in my mind I say hallelujah. My goal is to be brave and just hallelujah and Relief Society. Hallelujah. Like, when I'm feeling the Spirit and I know something's true, like, that's my favorite moment with Tamu, learning when I first met her, she's a hallelujah gal. That's why I knew- I am a hallelujah girl

perfect. You'd be so perfect for this episode. Amen. It worked out great And then it gives me energy, you know? That's part of my praise. I feel it. I love it. That's part of my praise. Well, I was gonna say David danced. That was part of his praise. Mary sat and listened. That was part of her praise. Mm. Martha, she served.

That's how she praised. Oh, I like it. Peter was a believer, but he was also a little bit scrappy. That's part of his praise. And so my praise is, you know, I, I, I, I'm, I guess I'm a mixture of a lot of those things. I'm not a singer either, but I do love gospel music. Mm. And when I'm at home, eh, or, you know, if I know I'm gonna...

Some- I used to bring it to Genesis, but then it got a little out of hand, 'cause then other people started bringing theirs. I have a tambourine that I bring. And I know how to play the tambourine. Not everybody can play the tambourine, you know? And so when other people bring it, then it throws your tambourine game off.

It, it just is, it, it sounds messy. But as I, I loved, love Psalms 50. And I, you know, honestly, to be honest, I don't think that I've ever really read it, and it's such a short... And I'm surprised that I haven't. Because in seminary when we would forget a day, we would have to read 10 chapters And it didn't matter where they came from, I would always find the shortest chapters to read.

So, but this, it was just like these are all the ways that people praise. Like, they praise him in the sanctuary, they praise him in, you know, the, um, firmament of his power. They praise him for his mighty acts. They praise him according to his excellent greatness. And so, and I w- it, I thought about, well, how do I praise?

And I think that one of the things that I do is I'll listen to gospel music or I'll listen to gospel artists, and when they're ... And this is just in the comfort of my own home or in my car. Or if I go to other people's church, I have to bring my own tambourine 'cause they have their tambourines- ... and I need to bring mine to let them, to represent our church and let them know that we still got some tambourine players too.

And so, um, and so I will, just so that I could stay up to date on my tambourine playing, I listen to gospel music and I play my tambourine at home. That's how I praise. How much do I love that, especially in Psalm 150, 'cause it talks about the instruments they play. And we know Jesus loves music and he loves an instrument.

And so there I am picturing you in 150 'cause it says that they praise him with their timbrels. I think that's a, I think that is a tambourine maybe. I think it is. I mean, he says that they praise him- The cymbals ... With the cymbals. Yes. Stringed instrument, organs, the cymbals. Oh yeah, the trumpet. I'm putting your name next to those verses.

And they praise him in dance. And, you know, they have praise dancers. I'm actually, one of the women that's here with her children, her name is, uh, Dr. Janan Graham Russell. She went to divinity, school of divinity at Howard as a HBCU in Washington, DC, and then she went to Harvard and got her PhD. But- Wow

she's here. But she's a praise dancer. A praise dancer. Sign me up. She's a praise dancer, and she's, she's LDS also. So, but yeah, she's a praise dancer. Oh, we gotta have her on the podcast, Tamu. She's awesome. She's awesome. Oh my gosh, ladies, thank you for sharing how you praise. That was so much fun. In fact, that's gonna be my question to all of our listeners this week is, what is one of the ways you praise the Lord?

I'd love to know how other people do it. That, a praise dancer, hello, a praise poet, Tiffany, a praise cymbalist, s- a praise tambourine man. Tambourine player. There you go. There you go. I love it so much. Well, this is gonna be very cool because the next two segments are gonna be from my guests personally about their own psalm of praise.

I asked them as they read and prepared for this to come prepared to share a psalm that they could hallelujah in their own life, and possibly even a story about a time when maybe they felt like they couldn't hallelujah or how they found the, the power and the strength to hallelujah. And so in the next segment, we'll start with Tiffany's story.

Segment 3

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All right, Tiffany Turley-Bowcutt, you are up. Tell us about your, your Hallelujah Psalm Okay, so as I thought about this, as I mentioned a little bit earlier, um, when I was thinking about praise, I realized we learn the most from the Savior's example. And so I tried to figure out how He praised, and I feel like He praised through thanksgiving and gratitude for His father's blessings, trusting in His father's plan and wisdom.

He obeyed His father's will. He glorified His father through His works. He taught others to honor His father. Um, and He lived a life that reflected His father's holiness and grace. So when I thought about that, like, praise is gratitude, and trust, and faith, and grace, um, I thought about a time in my life when I needed all those things, and when, um, praising the Lord made a difference.

So my, um, life did not turn out according to plan. I went to BYU- Yeah ... when I was 18 with the expectation that I would find my husband, and we would ride off- ... into the eternal sunset of marital bliss. And I would have a white picket fence, and kids, and that would be my story. Um, and God had a different, very different story.

And so I didn't get married until I was almost 40, and my husband and I knew we wanted three kids, 'cause he was older as well. And so we have three kids. My first was born in April of 2018. My daughter came in March of 2019, so they're 11 months apart. And then my third came in June of 2020. So we had- Wow

three kids within, like, two years. Um, but life was good. Wow. It was, it was just kind of a crazy time, right? Like, that many little kids. And I w- I'm not gonna lie, I was kinda old. Like, I feel like there's a reason people have kids in their 20s, 'cause I'm like, I was- Mm. Oh. Kids are exhausting, but it was- Yeah

the best blessing ever. Um, so in 2020 when my son was born, we were in the middle of the COVID pandemic, so we were, you know, kind of a lot going on from home. Well, he was born in June. Um, fast-forward to November. So in November, my husband and I realized that even though we were home all the time, with that many little kids, we were really letting our gospel study slip.

Mm. And so we decided that we would start waking up before our kids to do our scripture study. And so on Monday, November 16th, we woke up to do our gospel study. Beautiful day. Beautiful... You know, I already had my Christmas tree up. I'm totally one of those people that puts its up, like, last year I think it went up on October 29th.

Like, no judgment. But I just love my Christmas. So I was sitting by my Christmas tree November 16th reading my scriptures, got some great insights. Um, and about an hour later, yeah, uh, we found our sweet little Benny, who was six months old. He had passed away. He had passed away unexpectedly from SIDS, and just didn't wake up that morning.

And it was kind of this very, like, uh, polar experience, right? Like, we'd had this beautiful morning in, in the scriptures, and then all of a sudden we were faced with the reality of, like, our, our faith hitting, like, the rubber meeting the road, right? With our faith. Mm-hmm. Like, do we believe what we've been studying and all of that?

Anyway, so as, as we worked through that week, which is a week that, like, just looking back, I'm like, it was nothing but the Lord sustaining both my husband and I. What I realized, like, it was the pandemic, and so the week before, the governor of Utah had said no gatherings. I don't know if y'all were in Ut- Utah at the time or remember this, but he- Uh, at the beginning of November it said no gatherings.

And so we were trying to figure out, do we have a funeral for Benny? What do we do? And so with the approval of our stake president bishop, we did have a small funeral, and then we Zoomed it. And that week we also found out that President Nelson was gonna give this worldwide message. Um, and so we planned the funeral around that.

So the morning of Benny's funeral we were getting ready. Our sweet neighbor had taken our two littles, the two-year-old and the one-year-old, so we could just really focus on the day, and we listened to that gratitude, that he talked about gratitude. We listened to President Nelson's message. And as we listened to that, I realized, like, how blessed we were, because going into the funeral of our son, we were in a place of gratitude and wanting to look for the good.

And I feel like that's what praise is for me, right? Is, is gratitude and recognizing the Lord's hand. So going into this experience knowing that was our frame of mind just made it so we can look back on that as start... instead of, like, a dark time as, like, a really light-filled and hopeful time, even though it was so difficult.

And in fact, in President Nelson's message, um, I read it back as I was studying for this, uh, he quotes the Psalms. He says, "The Book of Psalms is filled with admonitions to express gratitude," and he cites, um, Psalms 136:1, which is in this week's readings. And so it kind of pulled it full circle for me. Um, but another thing as I thought through that experience with President Nelson was in his message he mentioned losing a child, which as my husband and I are sitting there getting ready for our son's funeral, I was like, "Oh my goodness."

Like, that was such a tender mercy to us. And I had this thought of he understands. President Nelson gets it. And then I had another thought that thought, "Okay, maybe now I'm meant to get it too. Maybe through this experience, I get to understand. And who I get to understand is my Father in heaven." Because if anyone knows the pain of losing a son, it's our heavenly Father.

And I feel like as I think through things in my life, I realize that if we can approach, um, tough things, right, like losing a child or whatever it might be, with the thought that someday when we see the Lord, we're gonna be able to relate to Him in a way that we wouldn't otherwise. I feel like that's when I start to praise Him.

And I think about a couple years back when I did my first Ragnar race, and I remember a few weeks later I was hiking, and I had my Ragnar shirt on, 'cause I was super proud that I had run this crazy road race. And I remember seeing someone on the trail, and they had the same shirt on, and it was almost like this like, like head nod, right?

Like, "Yeah, I get you. Like, we've experienced this- Mm-hmm ... craziness." And my husband does Ironman races. Um, he's like next-level amazing, and it's the same thing. When he wears his Ironman hat or carries his backpack, if he sees someone else with that, it's like, "I understand your suffering," right? Like, "We've been through the same suffering.

We share this experience." Um, and I feel like if we are willing to look at experiences in our life like that, like someday when I give my Father in heaven a hug, it'll be a hug of one parent to another, um, who has lost a son. And so I feel like when it comes to praising the Lord, um, if we look at our experiences that way and realize that praise isn't about our circumstances, praise isn't even a feeling.

Praise is an act, and it's an act meant to bring us closer to Him, to again focus on how these difficult experiences can actually be holy and sanctifying. And so, um, I just am so grateful for President Nelson, that he thought to give this worldwide message. The timing of it, the fact that it was on the day of the funeral, like it just all...

Not, not that Heavenly Father plans any of this, but I was just reminded of how much He loves me, my husband, my sweet Benny, and probably others who, who had a similar experience. But, uh, it's funny, 'cause what I started to do is look for His hand in my life. And, um, my husband would go out and run. He would do runs.

As I mentioned, he's an Ironman, and he would run, and he would come home, and he'd feel so much better. Like, he ran out the grief, right? Mm-hmm. That's not me. If I'm running, I'm focusing on not dying. Like, I've gotta breathe- Sure ... and pick my legs up. So I was like, "I need some sort of outlet where I feel like I can really just get my feelings out."

Um, and what I started doing is writing. And so I started writing, um, and I was put- putting it on a blog that just my husband and I had access to. And I had a few friends and family who were like, "Hey, we'd love to walk this journey with you, so can we access it?" And so we, we just put it out there. But I really just kind of documented the whole journey from losing Benny all the way, I think un- until after his first birthday and, and when I felt like we were able to To, to really process things.

And as I looked back at those, 'cause I realize I feel like those writings now are also my book of psalms. And, and like- Mm ... the actual psalms, they're full of ups and downs, and back and forth, and just kind of this rollercoaster of emotion. But through it all, you see hopefully the Lord's hand. And it was interesting, 'cause I think as I consciously looked for that and then wrote about it, um, it was a, it, it helps me heal.

And, and I'm grateful for that. And I actually, it's kind of funny 'cause this is one of those things where I feel like this episode might have been meant for me. When I looked back at my writings, I actually had, um, a, a post titled Hallelujah. And so if you're okay- Oh ... I'd love to read just part of what I wrote.

Please do. So in this to- the post Hallelujah I wrote, "As I think about the loss of my sweet boy, I realize that as sad as I was to lose him, surely his heavenly parents were thrilled to have him home." I love thinking about Benny having heavenly parents and so many others, like his Grandpa Jerry, who he was named after, to gloriously welcome him when he got to heaven.

It calms my heart. Benny is right where he needs to be. Even though it's not with me, surely God and the angels were singing hallelujah when my angel boy made it to his heavenly home. And in fact, on my strong days, I sing hallelujah as well. My goal as a mom is to help my children learn and grow in ways that bring them closer to the Lord so they can live again eternally with him someday, and Benny is there.

He made it, and the thought of that makes my mama heart rejoice. Even though it came much sooner than my mortal heart wanted, in my eternal perspective I can see just how wonderful it is to know right where my angel boy is and that his salvation is now certain because of our Savior. Now it's up to me to do my best to get to where he is and to try and get my other two babies there, too.

I'm pretty confident Tom has already sealed his ticket to heaven with his goodness. And when that day comes that we're reunited as an eternal family again, I'm certain the best word to describe it will indeed be hallelujah. So I just feel like these writings that I came up with after Benny died are my, my book of Psalm, my words of praise for the Lord, the ups and downs during a really tough time.

But through it again is His hand, His love, His goodness, and His mercy over His daughter, who is His favorite, I'm convinced. Right, Tim? So- Oh my God ... that is the experience where it, it all became real for me and, and praise the Lord for that. Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. Me too. I'm a wreck. Oh. Thank you for sharing that with us.

Oh, thank you. Well, hallelujah, right? I guess. Wow. The fact that you titled that Hallelujah, I, I am so sorry. Yeah. Wow. You're a sweetheart. It was meant to be. That's hard. I can talk about it today. I mean, truly, when I- Yeah ... Wow ... that's how

I felt and that's how I feel, so. You know, I can't help but think how awesome is this because you cited President Nelson's talk and he quoted Psalm 136. Let's just turn there really fast, 'cause this is pretty neat. I love this psalm so much. It's a favorite of mine for only one reason. So in Psalm 136, just scan your eyes through every verse and highlight every time you see mercy, 'cause it is in every single verse of this psalm.

And here's what's so cool. In every one, so 26 verses, you're gonna find it 26 times. But what you wanna know is each translation of that word mercy in this psalm is the Hebrew word hesed. That's what it means Love, love Isn't that amazing? So and then I think of your story, that because of your covenant, your covenantal commitment to Jesus Christ and to our Heavenly Father, you were given mercy during the loss of your son.

You were given the ability to say hallelujah when all was said and done because of covenants. And I think that's what hesed is, it's this beautiful mutual love. It's an all-encompassing steadfast love that the Savior and our heavenly parents have for us. And so thank you for sharing your story. What a beautiful example of not just hallelujah, but I would say hallelujah and hesed.

So- Yes ... wow, that was powerful. Thank you. Wow. Glad to be sure. So good. Ah. Okay. Well, that was, that was Tiffany's hallelujah psalm. Uh, in the next segment we get to hear from Tamu

Segment 4

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All right, Tamu. Talk to us about your hallelujah moment. I don't even know where to start. Um, I feel like Tammy gets me in these, in these, uh, moments, and then I, I have to grapple with what to share, how much to share, how to share. Share it all. And so, um, one thing that I will say is this. Okay, so my hallelujah moment came in Psalms 147, and I will say that I'm happy that it starts in Psalms 147 because Psalms 150 gives me hope.

Like, the, it's the heartbreak before the healing, and Psalms 50 is the healing. And I apologize in advance. I, this is the first time that I've shared this, and it's the first time that I've shared it publicly. There are people in my family that I have not said this to because they will try to talk me into staying That my 32-year marriage is coming to an end and, um, it has been very, a very difficult year.

I'm sorry, it's been a very difficult year, but it's also been a very, um, gratifying one. It's been a very healing one. And so in verse 6 where it talks about the Lord lifteth up the meek, I can't even see right now, it, it was, um, very healing and gratifying to me that He, that, that I'm not expected to... He, th- that our Father in Heaven does not expect the wounded to lift themselves.

Mm. That He's there with us. He's doing the lifting. He does the lifting for us. And, um, just that I feel like the, that whole chapter, uh, great is our Lord, and this is verse 5, "Great is our Lord, and of great power his understanding is infinite." Because I feel like this year I've asked a lot of why questions, um, um, what happened?

Like, I find myself married to someone who I don't recognize, and this person who had such a strong testimony in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and in the Church of Jesus Christ, it just, everything changed. And so I, I found myself with so many questions and, and, you know, why did this happen? How did this happen?

Why now? You know, you think you get through the, I've, I've been reading this book called The Silver Divorce. You think you get through the 20, you know, your 20 years or your 25th year, like at this point I'm married longer than I'm single, and what is happening? And, and it was, uh, it was very tender for me because I was, I felt like it was specifically for me.

Um, that I didn't have to understand everything. I didn't have to understand, really I didn't have to understand anything

Because God already did. Mm-hmm. I felt like the explanations, it was speaking to my heart. Like, it wasn't, it's not about, it wasn't, it was never about me, and it was about, you know, he, he has the agency to, he had the ability to make the decision himself. But just knowing that That God's understanding was infinite, and that had to be enough for me at this moment.

And, um, the heartbreak of, you know, having adult children that were watching and seeing them break. Yeah. I think that that's the hardest part. And watching, um, how this is changing the shape of my family and what, what I had hoped for and what I thought that I would have, and who we thought we would be, like, as a family.

Um, and never wanting that, but also knowing that my relationship with my heavenly Father was more precious and more personal to me than anything else. And so just being able to, to sit in Psalms 147 and feel how I was feeling and be, and be held by, by the words of, like, by the words of those scriptures, by the words of that book, and then just being able to, as I read further and got to, to Psalms 50, it was, "Oh, I get to have a personal hallelujah."

And so while I hadn't started writing my personal hallelujah, I was like, "What is my takeaway? I could tell you what my takeaway's gonna be, Tiffany." But e- even to, um, even in the notes that I, that I started to put together, I said, you know, "Praise the Lord, not because every relationship has been restored, but because He has not abandoned me.

I praise Him because He has heard every prayer I have prayed In tears. I praise him because he has been teaching me this whole time that I am not the savior. I don't have to be the savior. All I have to do is be a witness. I praise him because he is binding wounds that no one else can see. I praise him because he is rebuilding what people thought was lost in me I will praise the Lord today, tomorrow, and always because He has always been with me, in me, surrounded me, protected me, and provided for me always.

That's, that's what I have so far, so, um, but that's not my, that was not my Psalms. Like, I don't think that's my Psalms. I don't know if it's my Psalms yet. I don't know. I just started writing that, but- Well, it's a really good start ... and I didn't know if it was a Psalms- Wow ... Psalms or not until you said it.

I didn't have a language for it. Mm-hmm. But I just want to, um, for me, it's, it, it has always been about gratitude and knowing who my savior is and what the savior has done for me and, um, and just knowing that I, I have just been so blessed in my life. And so I know that before I get to the, the healing part of it, before I get to the praise and the celebration, I have to get, I have to go through this portion of it.

And so this is a portion of it that I'm going through. This is a season that I'm in, and I'm just so grateful that I have amazing people in my life, people that, um People who love me. People like Tammy . People like Laurel Mm-hmm. I love you People like Xandra. Uh, I have amazing friends. I mean, if I started naming people, and I do sometimes to remind myself I'm okay.

I'm okay. Yeah. I don't know who needs to hear that. I don't know who... It, it was a choice that I made to share it, and I don't know who needs to hear it. Um, but I do know that I, I'm not alone in this season. Right. And, um, and I'm not the only one going through a season like this. And so right now I'm in, in, you know, one- Psalms 147, but I do plan on getting to Psalms 150, and I will have my praise moment, and I will have my hallelujah moment.

God is not finished with me, and- Nope ... and I know that, and I think that people think, like some of my friends that know what I'm going through, they think that I'm hopelessly optimistic, and I am. But I also, I'm a survivor. I'm a kid that- Yeah ... is from the hood. And so- ... I, I've gotten this far, and I know that God didn't bring me this far to leave me this far.

And so I, I know, I know I'm gonna be okay. I know I'm gonna have my hallelujah moment, and I'm having it now. Hallelujah. Oh, hallelu- can I get a hallelujah? Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hands up. Yes. Oh, all the things. Hallelujah. Yes. Listen, I will be there. I will be there for your Psalms 150 moment when you're playing that tambourine, sister.

Thank you. Wow, that was powerful, both of you. Thank, thank you so much for willing to just share your heart and be vulnerable. I really appreciate that. The Spirit was so strong for both of your hallelujah psalms. So wow, I love that. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay, and we're not even done because we have another hallelujah song or psalm, and this hallelujah song, it might surprise you.

I'm gonna show you what it is in the next segment

Segment 5

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Let's turn in our scriptures. Go to Psalm 102. Here we go. And you're gonna s- mark something in your scriptures 'cause this is very interesting. So Psalm 102 Okay. And when you get there, all I want you to look at is the section heading and the very first line until you get to the dash. And Tiffany, can you read that for us?

The psalmist offers a prayer of the afflicted. Now, above the word prayer, put song, 'cause we know psalms are songs. So while it might be a prayer, the reality is the psalmist offers a song of the afflicted. So anybody out there that's feeling afflicted, this is your song right here. And so I want us to just look through a couple of these verses.

Specifically, w- here we are, verses one through 11. That's all we're gonna read. We'll each take a turn reading one of the verses, and as we do, I want everyone just to mark in these verses what stands out to you about this song of the afflicted. 'Cause I've ... There are some things in here, I'm like, "Ooh, I love that part."

So let's just each take a verse, and we'll go in this order. Tiffany, Tamu, Tammy. Oh, look, we're all T's. Then Tiffany, Tamu, Tammy. Okay. A prayer of the afflicted, when he is overwhelmed, and poureth out his complaint before the Lord. Now, who of us doesn't feel like that? There we go. Don't you love how the scriptures say that?

Go ahead and pour your complaints out, people, 'cause the Lord's gonna hear it. Here we go, Tamu. Hear my prayer, O Lord, and let my cry come unto thee. Hide not thy face from me in the day when I am in trouble. Incline thine ear unto me. In the day when I call, answer me speedily. For my days are consumed like smoke, and my bones are burned as in hearth.

My heart is smitten, and withered like grass, so that I forget to eat my bread. By reason of the voice of my groaning, my bones cleave to my skin. I am like a pelican of the wilderness. I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the housetop. Mine enemies reproach me all the day, and they that are mad against me are sworn against me.

For I have eaten ashes like bread, and mingled my drink with weeping. Because of thine indignation and thy wrath, thou hast lifted me up and cast me down. My days are like a shadow that declineth, and I am withered like grass. Okay. What stood out to you from that song of affliction? Well, s- starting off on kind of a funny note, in verse four when he says, "I forget to eat my bread," I'm like, that's when I know it's bad, is when I forget to eat.

Yep. Like, it must be real bad if he's forgetting to eat his bread. Right? You're so afflicted you can't eat. Right. Oof. But also I love in verse two, 'cause I feel like sometimes I cry this prayer, where it's like, "Okay, Heavenly Father, I need help, but when I ask, please respond quickly." Mm-hmm. You know? Like, I, I feel like sometimes we do that, and, like, we, we, we're seeking help, which we should be doing, but then kind of demanding it on our own timetable.

quickly, right? What I found in my life is it is, it is rarely quick. Sometimes, but not often. Mm-hmm. I am like a pelican of the wilderness and like a owl of the desert. And I think, I think, uh, to me it just says that I'm just alone and that's what it feels like, you know? Mm-hmm. I like nine. I've eaten ashes like bread, which that was fine, but this one, mingled my drink with weeping.

Yeah. Just the imagery of crying and weeping and your tears rolling, just rolling off your face into your cup. I've known that cry before when even my nose is running into my cup, like you're so sad. Mm. Yeah, that was what stood out to me. So this is, right here, we have this Psalm of the afflicted. Now, there is a psalm or song of the afflicted that we often sing in our church, and it's a very famous hymn.

And I wanna give you a little background to this hymn because it will blow your mind. The song is Where Can I Turn for Peace? Wouldn't you call that the song of the afflicted in our culture? Totally, yes. The words are just perfect. Okay, so we have the song Where Can I Turn for Peace? But here's the backstory about how we got it, and I love this story.

So it was written by a woman named Emma Lou Thayne Warner, and she was brilliant. She was a vo- a devoted wife, a mother of five daughters. She was a champion tennis player, how fun is that? And a professor at the University of Utah for more than 30 years. And it... And this, I'm gonna put the link to this if you guys want, so you can go read this story or share it, 'cause it's worth sharing.

So she wrote honestly and served admirably many callings in the church. She also struggled mightily to find peace amid some severe trials that threatened her, her family, and including her oldest daughter's battle with mental illness. For three years, Emma Lou did everything she could to solve the mystery of her daughter's suffering and to find peace and help for a diagnosis that she knew very little about.

Like, she had no idea how to help this child or help herself. In fact, she calls this in an interview, "The bleakest time I had ever known," in her whole life. So in the midst of all of this adversity that she's going through, church leaders called her and they said, "Emma, will you please compose a song for the annual Mutual Improvement Association Conference?"

Which was back in 1986. That's what they did for young men and young women. And they asked her, "Will you please write a song? We want this big finale to happen at the end when everything comes together." And Emma Lou writes like, "I have no..." She kinda wrote like, "There's no way I could do this, not at this time.

And how am I possibly gonna write a song to inspire the youth when I am so sad and depressed and dealing with all my own grief?" And so she just thought, "Okay, you know what, though? I've been asked to do it, so I'm just gonna go to a quiet room in my basement and I'm, I'm gonna start to write." And she says, as she sits down at this little desk she had, she started on a piece of paper, and all she says is, "I implored writing like I had so many other times the question that I have asked: Where can I turn for peace?"

That's what she wrote on the paper first. And then she wrote out, "Where is my solace?" "Then when doth the wounded heart anger or malice, I draw myself apart, searching my soul." She says these three verses of a poem found their way to the page, voicing her anguish and providing the answer that she carried in her heart.

Then she wrote, "He answers privately, reaches my reaching in my Gethsemane, my Savior and friend." Then she immediately called her friend Jolene Meredith, who composes music, and she composed the music for this hymn. She has a history, this woman, Jolene Meredith, has a history of genetic depression in her family, so she totally understood how empowerful these words were that had just been written.

So she sits down at her piano, she reads one line of that hymn that's been written, and immediately composes it. And by noon that day, they had their hymn completely written. So this story is so cool because here is a l- a little bit of a sub-story to Jolene Meredith, the woman who wrote the music. So Meredith, in an interview to our friend Jane Clayson Johnson, this is what she told Jane.

She said she and Emma Lou call the song Where Can I Turn for Peace? their, quote-unquote, "mental health hymn." Don't you love that? It's their mental health hymn, and that the Gethsemane they were both thinking of as they wrote it included the mental suffering and anguish that the Savior took upon himself for each individual who has or will suffer from depression or any other mental illness.

Then she writes, "She told me about this mental health episode of her own, and it was so severe," so the, the woman who composed the music, her mental health episode was so severe that she couldn't get out of bed for months. And then she joked in the interview that when her f- when she was finally able to leave her bedroom and just go downstairs to be with her family, they celebrated by everybody jumping in the car, and then they drove around the block and came back.

Mm-hmm. That's how sick she had been. She writes After the episode eased, Jolene found help, and she actually became a lobbyist for mental health issues, and she served on the Utah Governor's Board of Mental Health and Substance Abuse. And her goal, she said, was to erase the stigma attached to mental illness and encourage people to look for help.

Now, in 1986, just a few months after the hymn's publication, this is the craziest part of the story, a crowbar came flying through the windshield of the car of Emma Lou Thayne. It hit her in the face. It nearly killed her and required extensive surgery to her eye and her face, leaving her unable to read or raise her head for seven months.

During that entire trial, Emma Lou said, quote, "In this time when reading and writing have not been a part of my life, I have come to hear some inner music that is often prompted by the very searching that this hymn talks of. I am grateful for the unbelievably timely resurrection of the song that has helped me so much in my own recent resurrection, a resurrection of what I might have never known without the trial and without the granted grace of the impulse to read the Psalms."

And so we have this psalm of Emma Lou Thayne, Where Can I Turn for Peace? Is that the craziest story of how we got that hymn? Wow. Wow. Now, when you sing it, I'm always gonna think this is the mental health hymn. That is so brilliant. But here's the really cool thing because we talked about this praise, this song right here, the, the, the song of the afflicted, the praise of the afflicted, the hallelujah of the afflicted, right?

And you're like, "How could we possibly praise that?" There is a new arrangement of this song, and it is so good, and we're gonna play it for you, and then I wanna know what my guests think about it. It is done by Elder Causse, and I didn't even know he was a piano player. He's incredible. In our show notes, there's a link, so you can go watch the video.

It's on YouTube. You can also download this song. This is Where Can I Turn for Peace?, arranged by Elder Causse and, uh, an amazing arranger, Nicholas Giusti. Here is Where Can I Turn for Peace?

For me personally, I think that I love it, but I also think it depends on what season you're in. And I already told y'all, I'm in season 147. So for sure when I get to 150, that's gonna be the hallelujah, hallelujah. But in this season, I'm not there yet. It's very, very, like, angelic and upbeat. Yeah. Was it, did it surprise you how different it was from how we've always sung it?

Absolutely. Yes. When I mentioned I went to the temple last night, and that was actually one of the songs that was played in the chapel while I waited for the session to start- Wow ... in the very traditional reverent way. Mm-hmm. I'd listened to this already, and I was like, "Come on," like, "Let's..." You know? But I mean, the temple's a very reverent setting, but I just love that reminder.

I love that it's... Th- there's parts that are in an octave lower that feel heavier. Mm-hmm. And then there's the staccato part that's very, like, happy. And I love 'cause they show, um, I wanna call him Bishop Cosa, Elder Cosa's face, and he's, like, smiling. Um, and I think it's just a good reminder to me that, like, peace can come no matter what.

And I had a couple other thoughts. Um, I think about the temple. This hit me maybe a couple years ago. I was realizing I always go to the temple to find peace, and in my mind, peace was equating to, like, where the adversary cannot be, right? Um, and in the temple we know he can't be there. And yet as I sat there during a session one time, I realized there are four people that take center stage in that temple endowment session, and one of them is the adversary.

Mm-hmm. So the temple is not, like, void of the adversary and the havoc he wreaks. The temple's not void of the adversary and the trouble that he causes. What the temple reminds us is that God is stronger than those, that the savior is stronger than him, than anything, and that's where our peace can come from.

I also had the thought, Tammy, especially as you were talking, kind of this like you don't need to understand 'cause God understands. And I love the scripture in Philippians that says, like, "Peace that surpasseth all understanding." And what I've realized in my own life is in order to get that level of peace, I have to be willing to give up my need to understand.

Mm. Because if it's gonna pass all understanding, then it's gonna pass what I understand, and as long as I'm holding onto this, like, "I need to understand," I can't feel that peace. And so- Mm-hmm ... I feel like in that song- Yeah ... it kind of gives us a lot of that, right? Like, the, it comes in the ups and the downs, and we can find peace through all of it.

'Cause again, the peace is what comes through the savior, um, and through our father, and not the circumstances of, of whatever our lives can be. Absolutely. That's a hallelujah. There's a poem that, um, my seminary teacher, Carol Hinckley, I think it was Carol Hinckley, she had given to me. Yes. And I, I still have it somewhere in my, my papers, but it says, "My life is but a weaving between my Lord and me.

I let him choose the patterns. He worketh steadily. Oft times he worketh sorrow, but I within my heart forget he sees the pattern while I see only part." The dark threads are as needed in the weaver's skillful hands as a thread of gold and silver in the pattern he has planned. Not till the loom is silent and the shedder cease to fly, shall God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.

That is what that song kinda is, like the- Mm-hmm. Same. Beautiful ... the ups and the downs and the, you know, I- it's life, right? And I do love the fact that Elder Causse is saying just because we've heard it this way or just because we've had this experience doesn't mean that we can't experience it this way over here.

Yeah. Or, you know, we can have all the, all the, all the, the, the chords and all the strings and, um, I'm clearly not a musical person. I play the tambourine just 'cause I can hear- ... not because I understand music. And so, but it's just, it, I think it's beautiful. Yeah. That is the beautiful part of, of this. It's life.

Well, and to your point, and the point of this whole episode so far, is just this idea that when you're in your 147, 150 will come. It will come. I think that's what the song teaches me, like in your 147, 150 will come. That's a guarantee because of Jesus Christ. So hang on, your 150's coming. Your Psalm 150- It's coming

it's coming. So thank you, ladies. I love that song. That was beautiful. Okay, so we have one last thing to discuss, and so in the next segment, we're gonna talk about each other's pathway to our front doors. I'll show you what we mean in the next segment

Segment 6

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Okay, you guys, this is a fun question. Describe for me the pathway to your front door In all detail, what does it look like? What are we dealing with here? Oh my gosh. Including dead plants. Including dead plants, Tamu. Well, you're gonna see some dead plants. You're gonna see some dead grass You'll see a rock that I paid $75 for.

No one in my life has ever paid money for just a rock. It does nothing special. It just sits there- ... under a tree behind a bush that I stole off the r- that I borrowed off the river trail- Mm-hmm. Way to fix that ... close to my house. And, uh, let's see. Uh, there's a broken sprinkler head, a water hose house, I guess.

But the water hose is not in the house 'cause it was too hard to pull out, so I just left that there. And I just sometimes put other things in that. There's a chair. It's red. It's like a, a camping chair. Stop judging me. I feel you guys judging me. I need you to stop. But in that chair is, uh, a skeleton and some flashlights and stuff from Halloween that I kind of figured I was gonna take them, but then I'm like, "We're almost at Halloween again," so I'm just gonna leave them right there.

And, uh, it's, um, some salt on the side- Mm-hmm, mm ... of that. I was waiting for the snow to happen, and it didn't, so I kinda figured I'm just gonna leave it there 'cause the snow is probably gonna happen next year 'cause we can't be in a drought forever. There you go. You're planning. And, uh- You're a planner ... I'm, yes, that's exactly it.

And then two ... This is, when I left last week, there were two rakes leaned up against the house 'cause I had just mowed the lawn, and I told my daughter to put them in the shed in the back of the house. But I have a camera, and I see that she has not moved those rakes. So that's what you're gonna see. And if you're listening to this and if you come to my house, just take those and put them in the shed.

That's ... And, and there's a, a rug- I love it ... that's a little brown rug, and I think it says welcome, or it used to say welcome, but it's, it's worn out. Okay. So that's what it, that's what it is, guys. Love it. L- uh, I love it so much. Oh, I knew you'd describe it perfectly. Okay. What about you, Tiffany? M- not nearly as exciting.

It's just kind of a windy cement path up a few stairs. Um, I have a couple pots with flowers in them. Um, usually I have some sort of seasonal welcome sign. Mm-hmm. Right now it's red, white, and blue. A wreath on the door, and that's ... It's pretty basic. That's the path from- Love it. I'll trade you. Trade you.

Yeah. Trade you. I mean, I wish I had a rake or skeletons or ... Yeah. It's just- Kinda simple Mine's just a plain s- uh, also cement path with flower beds on each side of the path. But through one of the flower beds we placed rocks as a shortcut, which is so classic me. Heaven forbid you walk all the way around the flower bed.

I need a shortcut. I'm, uh, the queen of shortcuts, so I'm like, "We're gonna need to put some pebbles right here for people to walk," 'cause I don't wanna, I don't wanna walk all the way around the flowers, and it's like five steps. Mm-hmm. So there's a shortcut to my front door. Let's keep that in mind as we have this discussion today, because I want us to be thinking about pathways leading up to things.

Here's a really fun one. I recently got to go to Milan, Italy, and they have this incredible duomo, which is a huge cathedral, and I was struck by the pathway leading up to the duomo. In fact, look at this picture. It is so wide that I remember walking up to this big, gigantic cathedral thinking, "There's room for everybody."

Check this out. This is so cool. Look at the stairs. Look how wide they are. Like, it's so wide But there's a lot of ways to get to it Oh, yeah. That's a great way. Yeah. Lot of ways to get to th- the cathedral. Room for everybody. I loved that. Stairs that anybody can get to. It, it was such a- Right ... cool experience to go into this church.

It was so gigantic. Like, I loved it. Okay. There's a lot of doors. Are th- do all of th- Oh, yeah ... are all of those doors functional? No. Well, I'm sure they are, but they make everybody go around on the side. They keep the doors closed, but they probab- that's probably how they used to enter. It was really cool, and I was struck by this picture and this experience being there when I thought of pathsway- pathways up to people's front doors because most pathways are narrow, and this pathway is so wide.

And I know sometimes when we talk about the pathway or the door, the pathway leading up to the door of our heavenly Father, we say it's narrow, that it's straight. But I love the idea that Sharon has taught us that a strait, when you think of a strait, it's waterway, and you have to be careful when you're in a strait so you don't hit the side or the bank, and I think that's what the meaning of strait is.

You just have to be careful with how you get to our heavenly Father. You can't just... You know, He's got rules and commandments, but everybody's welcome. I love this pathway. It's so gigantic. Right. And there's a really cool pathway in P- Psalm 119. Let's turn to Psalm 119 because Psalm 119, first of all, what you wanna know is it is paved with every letter of the Hebrew alphabet.

Look at Psalm 119. Do you see how there's, like, aleph and then bet, gimel, dalet, he? Do you see all those Hebrew letters? And then it says what the word is. That's the first thing you wanna know. What are those? Those are the Hebrew letters, the Hebrew alphabet in order from aleph to tav. There we go. But then what's so cool is that throughout Psalm 119, the words path, way, feet, walk, and wander are repeated throughout so many times.

It talks about following the way, following the path that leads back to our heavenly Father, and we're just gonna focus on Psalm 119:105. Let's go to 105

And then Tammy, can you read 105 for us? "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." There it is. Classic scripture from Psalm. "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, a light unto my path." And this idea that the Lord is just... I, I love the beauty of this, where he's saying, "Look, I will help you get there, and it's not gonna be easy.

But I will get you there because of my word. It will be a lamp to you, and it's going to be a path for you." And f- with all that we've talked about today, and you bea- you both have beautifully shared your own personal experiences, just talk to me then about how you're going to get back home. Like, how is the Lord's word a lamp to get back to his pathway to his front door?

The one thing that I kinda thought about was, as I was thinking about this concept of getting back home, and in our neighborhoods the other day I was running through our neighborhood, and I realized how safe I felt there. Mm-hmm. And I realize it's because I'm comfortable there. I know the streets. I know the neighbors.

I know what things are because I'm comfortable there, and I contrast that, uh, like or think about that in the context of our Heavenly Father, right? Someday when we get back to Heavenly Home, are we gonna be comfortable there? Will we have spent time getting comfortable there, right? Like, if you were to go to your grandma's house who you're, you know, um, who you're estranged from, you might not feel as comfortable.

But when you go to grandma's home, like if I go to my grandma's home, I'm like, "Oh, this is comfort and warmth, and I know I feel love 'cause I'm comfortable there." And I just thought about Heavenly Father's home and how what brings us that feeling of comfort in a home or on that journey home is the familiarity.

And so are we getting to know the Lord's neighborhood, right? Are we in the temple, scriptures, in our worship meetings, are we getting to know the, quote-unquote, neighbors, right? The prophets, our leaders, the Savior himself. Like, 'cause that is what I think someday when we return home, um, to Heavenly Father, that's what will make our journey there more comfortable.

Oh, I love that. That is awesome. It'll be familiar. Right. Very cool. And I, I agree with Tiffany there. I think that, you know, getting to know, not just getting to know the neighbor or your neighborhood or, you know. It's, it's knowing the Word, living in the Word. And for me personally, it's because I know- The Savior, because I know my Father, because I am aware of the Holy Ghost in my life, I know that I can get there through the front door, I can get there over the fence.

I, I, I can get there, you know, I have a, a gate off of the river trail that takes me home because I know the Savior. Mm-hmm. And because I am doing those things that, uh, that I've seen my Savior do, I'm not just trying to get there by myself, I'm trying to get there and take other people with me and- Yeah

and show them the way because He showed me the way. And so I think that we get home not just to get home, but we get home and we take others with us. Yeah. Oh, thank you, both of you. Perfect answers. This was... Uh, I was reminded as I was preparing for this and talking about the walk or the path that we're going to follow back to our Savior, and it drew me to Sister Runia's talk at BYU Women's Conference.

And if you have not listened to it, I highly recommend, 10 out of 10. The best part for me was the very, very end, and I still get so emotional when I think about it because she said, "When I walk that path up to the Savior and I see Him there, I will fall at my feet and I will weep tears on His feet. I will kiss His feet.

And then I will stand, and I will turn and point back to my path and I will say, 'That was hard.'" And he'll look at me and go, "I know." And then I'll say it again, "No, that was hard." And I loved it when she said, like, all of us were weeping because we look back and we're like, "Our paths were hard. That was not an easy path."

Like, there were skeletons. There were rocks we paid a lot of money for. There were dead plants. Like, there were shortcuts. I just, I love that. Like, that... I will point back to my path and go, "That was hard." But I love that the Savior's like, "I know, and it was so worth it because you trusted in me." And I, I think that's so beautiful about 1:19, is every time you read something about the word way or wand- wander or path, it always connects back to the Savior.

Like, I have chosen the way of truth. There it is in 1:19 verse 30. You can turn to any one of these verses, and the path or the way or even the word feet will lead us back to the Savior. And so I just leave that with all of you. As you've listened today and as we've sh- as we've praised Jesus in our hallelujah moments, know this, that your path will be paved with hallelujahs.

It just will. And if you're in your 147, 150 will come. But that I do believe that when you're done and you say, "That was hard," you'll be like Tiffany, and then you'll just say, "But hallelujah. Hallelujah with my whole body. It was worth it." So thank you so much, ladies, for this discussion today. It was so powerful, and the Spirit was so strong.

So thanks. We're done. That's the end. You did it, Tiff. Ooh, Tammy be making me cry more than Oprah did. Woo-hoo. Thank you. That was so good. More than Oprah did. Okay, so gather your thoughts and just share. What is your takeaway? What is your eternal truth that you learned today from our discussion of hallelujah?

I just have to r- say this. Sometimes when I'm doing this with you, Tammy, I feel like, uh... What was that, the name of that movie with Maverick? W- w- uh- Top Gun. Tom Cruise? Is it Tom Cruise? Yeah. What was the, the, the sports movie? Like Jerry Maguire? Jerry Maguire, where, where, um, Cuba Gooding Jr. is like, "You're not gonna make me cry.

You're not gonna make me-" You're not gonna- That's how I feel right now. I know. You come in so stoic, and I'm like, "I'm gonna break you. I will break you, Tamu." Okay, what's your takeaway? What's your eternal truth? Um, my takeaway is, uh, and thank you, Tiffany, for again giving me language to, uh, create a psalm of praise.

I think for me, um, Tammy, I'm gonna return the thanks right back to you because I loved when you said our Father in Heaven does not expect the wounded to lift themselves, and I think that's what praise is, right? Like, He lifts us, and He will always lift us. I'm grateful for that. Amen. Man, you stole mine.

Hallelujah. That was a good one. Hallelujah. Um, okay, mine, Tamu, was when you said, "I don't have to understand everything because God already does." That was so good. And then of course, Tiffany, Praise Ye the Lord poem. But now, like- Girl ... listen, I, I liked that poem when you first read it, but then you shared your own personal journey and story.

And now will you please send me a copy of your Praise Ye the Lord poem? Like, I want it. I want to put it in my psalm. Will you do that for me? It's beautiful. It is so beautiful. I'm gonna add it to my scriptures. Thank you. Really, as the kids would say, "Girl, you ate down with that." I don't know what any of that means but I like it.

Fire, fire. O clock it. My girls do this all the time. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. You ate with that one. You ate with that one. That was good. It was beautiful. This was... I knew you would nail it. Gosh, God is so good. He knew who I needed on this episode. He knew that one. That was your big one. Oh. Ugh. Okay. We're done.

Hallelujah. Tiffany- Hallelujah ... we're done. Thank you. Wow. That was so good, the episode. Oh, my goodness. The spirit is so strong. Okay, I'd love to know what is your eternal truth? What is your takeaway from this episode? Join our group on Facebook or follow us on Instagram and share what you have learned.

And then also comment on the post that relates to this discussion, 'cause we're gonna put a question up on Instagram and I would love to know how you praise. How do you hallelujah the Lord? You can get to both our Facebook and Instagram by going to the show notes for this episode at ldsliving.com/sundayonmonday.

And go there anyway. It's where we have the links to all the references and a transcript of this whole discussion, so go check it out. The Sunday on Monday Study Group is a Deseret Bookshelf Plus original brought to you by LDS Living. It's written and hosted by me, Tammy Uzelac Hall. And today our beautiful study group participants were Tiffany Turley-Bowcutt and Tamu Smith.

And you can find more information about my friends at ldsliving.com/sundayonmonday. Our podcast is produced by Cole Wissinger and me. It is edited and mixed by Cole Wissinger, and our executive producer is Erin Hallstrom. Thanks for being here. We'll see you next week, and please remember, oh, please remember that you are God's favorite