We live in a culture inundated by pornography. Talking to your teens about porn is no longer optional – it’s essential. The damaging impact of pornography can last for years. Preparing kids to confront this issue is a latter-day challenge.
Many parents teach simple avoidance of the problem: “Don’t do it” is the approach. Unfortunately, this mistake assumes that your teen will not be exposed or has the ability to completely avoid it. While it’s true that choices can reduce contact, pornography is marketed in a way to maximize exposure during adolescence. Nearly 100% of youth report exposure by the time they graduate high school. Sometimes exposure is accidental as a result of marketing tricks. Your teen may feel embarrassed and ashamed when tricked. This will often cause them to avoid talking about it. To prevent this, talk in terms of “when” they are exposed. Teach them how to reach out and discuss it with you “when” it happens.
Unfortunately, many teens are learning about sexuality through pornography. Consequently, you need the ability to teach them about what is appropriate and healthy. Remember that most teens are naturally curious about sexuality, so develop a relationship that is open to conversation. You may need to overcome your own inhibitions to make sure your teen has correct information.
Those who become addicted will slowly disconnect from friends and loved ones. These important relationships become more distant. So in an effort to prevent addiction, communication and open discussion will be important. Teach them to shake off the worry and talk to you. Help them to feel safe talking to you about any exposure. Assure them you will not be judgmental or shaming about this embarrassing issue. It’s not easy to address this difficult issue, so be patient with yourself and prepare as best you can.