Your Story Has Power

KaRyn Lay

Welcome to "This Is the Gospel," an LDS Living podcast where we feature real stories from real people who are practicing and living their faith every day. I'm your host, KaRyn Lay. And today, my friends, today is a bittersweet day. Because this is the last episode of the "This Is the Gospel" podcast.

We had hoped to keep it moving even after my departure, because we know that the stories are the thing, but a few other changes to our staff have made it the right move for us to close out the season and make room for the other exciting podcasts and experiences that Deseret Book and LDS Living have in the works.

And of course, we are sad–we are so sad. This podcast has been such a bright spot for so many of us, especially through this pandemic. And I'm not just being overly dramatic when I say on a personal note that being able to share this time with you all curating these stories, sharing my experiences and testifying of our Savior, Jesus Christ, almost every week–it felt like filling the measure of my creation. It has been an absolute gift to have so much time together.

But hold on, hold on, because we still have this next hour. So don't pull out your hidden stash of emotional support doughnuts quite yet. We've got some really fun little moments to share as we round out these four years of storytelling together.

Since we started "This Is the Gospel," in 2016 first as a video series, and then as a podcast, we have been honored to share over 240 of your stories in over 40 videos and 95 episodes of this podcast. And I want you to know that some of your stories made me feel absolutely validated in my choice to remain committed to the r estored Church of Jesus Christ.

Some of your stories helped me to feel seen and connected to other people. Even when we were cultures and worlds apart. Some of your stories made me laugh till I was snorting. And still other stories reminded me that life is filled with sorrow that the eye can't see.

But the one thing that they all had in common was that they helped change the way I see and understand my own discipleship. And I don't think that could have happened if the stories weren't true, and personal and vulnerable. We always knew that we wanted to share real stories from real people. So early on, we decided that we had to open it up to you, our listeners, anyone who had listened to the podcast.

The pitch line was born, and since we started it in December of 2018, we have had over 714 calls. Now I'm not like super into math. But considering that number of pitches, and the number of actual stories produced, we're ending this podcast having only hit about 25% of the possible stories that we even knew about. We know that there's a lot of story left to tell.

So while you're all out there thinking about how you can start telling the stories, Katie and Erika and I wanted to share some of our pitch line moments that for one reason or another didn't quite make it into an episode.

KaRyn Lay

So I thought it would be fun to bring Katie and Erika, our two producers on to the show to share some of the pitches we've combed through over the years that for one reason or another, we weren't able to produce. Hey, guys.

Katie Lambert

Hey.

Erika Free

Hi! I'm so excited about this today. Listening to the pitch line was one of my favorite parts of this job, so I'm excited to share some of my favorites.

Katie Lambert

Is it okay to say it was my least favorite part of this job?

[Laughter]

KaRyn Lay

Why was it your least favorite part, Katie?

Katie Lambert

There was just so much emotion in all of the pitches that everybody shared, and it really tugged at my heartstrings, a lot of them and I'm not an emotional person, I have the emotional capacity of a teaspoon, so it's a lot to take in at once. But I really did appreciate everybody being vulnerable and sharing their stories like that.

KaRyn Lay

Yeah, well, and I always–it, the only hard part about it for me was that sometimes I would listen to something that was so beautiful. And there would be something that like the timing was off, or for some reason we couldn't do it. And I I just felt like, oh, I just want to hug everybody. And I always saved the pitch line to like Friday evenings. I don't know what it was about the pitch line that I was like, "Okay, my week is over, I can sit and I can hear these." And so if you got a call from me at like seven o'clock on a Friday, I'm sorry about that. But that was–that was when I could could kind of sit with all of the stories. But I get that. A lot of people were deeply vulnerable with us over. . . Sorry, deeply vulnerable with us over these last few years.

I honestly, just think that was the biggest honor of this whole project was having a front row seat to so many people's deep, deep, deep spiritual experiences. So now that we've already started the crying fest, who's gonna go first, which pitch do we want to start with?

Erika Free

I want to start. I have one that . . . the first time I listened to it, it just made me crack up. And then I was like, "Oh, that's such a sweet story." But even weeks after I listened to it, it kept coming to mind. And it's you know, it's not a huge, crazy, epic adventure one, but it just really lingered with me. So I want to listen to it together.

Julia

Hi, my name is Julia Ditto. D-i-t-t-o, like the copies. So my story is that I have six kids and an awesome husband. And he's so awesome, in fact, that he is definitely the fun parent. He's. . . Yeah, he's the one that the kids love when he's in charge of stuff or whatever because it's always fun and awesome.

So anyway, sometimes I feel a little like the invisible parent. And there was one experience last week where you know, all my kids, well, my kids are back in school now even though there's COVID, some of them are still online, but half my kids have gone back to school. So I was making lunches for those little boys as they were returning to school.

And they started whining. And one of them's like, "Ugh, can I not have peanut butter and jelly? I'm so sick of it." And another one said, "Yeah, my teacher said all those school lunches are free this year. Can't we just have the school lunches?" And I just kind of felt like, ridiculous as I was slapping together these lunches that apparently nobody wanted and didn't need, I guess.

And my husband was like, "Let me look into that." And so he started looking at the school website and found out that yes, indeed, all the lunches were free this year because of whatever weirdness COVID was throwing at everybody. Like, "Wow, isn't that amazing? Why are you even making these lunches," and went on and on about it.

And I was just kind of feeling more and more like, what do I even do that matters? What do I even do that they need? No one even needs anything that I'm doing. And then literally as he's spouting off about these lunches, my daughter finds one of my son's homework assignments, which was an "All About Me" poster, all about him for his class.

Anyway, and it says–she starts reading it out loud. "List one of your heroes" and he had written, "I love my dad. My dad is awesome. He is buff." All of these things about how great his dad is. And I just kind of walked away. And I was so confused because I'm so happy to have an awesome dad and they love him, but I kind of feel like the parent that is not so awesome sometimes and not so needed.

And later that day I went and found the–I remembered the talk by Elder Eyring where he talks about his father weeding a patch of onions, only to find out later that they already been sprayed and they were going to die anyway. And he just laughed and laughed and thought that was so funny. And President Eyring said, "How can you laugh about something like that? You worked so hard for nothing."

And his dad said, "Hal, I wasn't here for the weeds." And that just spoke to me and tears came to my eyes because President Eyring goes on to say in his talk, "Now you'll be in an onion patch much of your life, so will I. And it will be hard to see the powers of heaven magnifying us or our efforts. It may even be hard to see our work being of any value at all. But you didn't come for the weeds, you came for the Savior." And that just struck me that I'm not here for the weeds. I'm here–

Erika Free

I like that one for so many reasons, I kind of want to share what I like about it first. But it's funny that that one stuck with me because I'm not even a mom, so I've never felt that, but I just love how real she was about it. I feel like that's something that we've always really focused on in "This Is the Gospel" is sharing real stories.

And I love that it's a place where you can come and hear about someone feeling like, "Oh, I'm not the favorite parent. And this is kind of hard. But also, I have a takeaway from that." And it's just an everyday story, but I just–I thought she was funny while she was telling it too, so I just really enjoyed this one.

KaRyn Lay

I love that thought Erika about the realness of it. One of the things that we at the very beginning of developing this podcast, and it was years in the making, I have this whole story about that someday I'll share it. But anyway, I was just thinking about how one of my favorite things about this podcast is that we didn't–I feel like we didn't–ask our storytellers to shy away from the hard parts of life of being a disciple.

Because even though it is beautiful, and it is rewarding to follow the Savior, there are moments where that experience can feel really, really unhappy. And we always said at the end of every story production, "Don't leave out the parts where it was hard, because that is the place where we find God," right. That's the place.

And your story doesn't even have to be over. You may still be in the space where it's difficult, right? And I like that about that story too that, A. It cuts off, so if feels like a cliff hanger, you're like, "What's the end of the story?"

But also that there is that moment of like–this is real life. This is real.

Okay, can–I'll go next. I have one that I want to share. One of the things that I have enjoyed the most as we've gone on with this podcast, and the pitch line is that people have gotten more and more creative about how they do their pitches. So when we first started, I remember the very first story that we got was someone pitching a story about a mermaid because they didn't quite know what the podcast was about yet. Which was sort of like, Oh–

Erika Free

Oh, I love that!

KaRyn Lay

I know! I was like, "Wait is a mermaid? . . Is that?" and then all of a sudden, I realized they were pitching like a fiction story, which would have–that's a fun podcast, if anyone wants to start a fiction storytelling podcast I'm in. But as we've gotten through the years, people have gotten more and more creative about how to pitch their story. And this is one that came in recently that I just adored. It's a family telling their story together. And I just think it's darling.

Jenny

Hi, my name is Jenny Yates.

Harper

Harper Yates.

Bridget

Bridget Yates. So all we want to do is check out the George Washington Memorial, but instead, our mom ended up in the George Washington Memorial Hospital.

Jenny

So it was the summer of 2017. And we were super pumped to take this epic family Church History site trip, which was a pretty big deal because Walker was going to be with us that Summer.

Bridget

Our older brother.

Jenny

Yeah. But as luck would have it, I ended up in the hospital with optic neuritis, just a week before. And so we were afraid that the trip wouldn't happen, but we were determined to move forward. I was still recovering. So I had a walker that–

Bridget

Rolly.

Harper

Roly Poly.

Jenny

Named Roly Poly, and I would sit on it. So we end–we met up with some friends in Virginia and decided to see the sights at Washington DC for the day. It was a rainy and cold day. And we wanted to go see the George Washington Memorial, you know.

And parking is super crazy there, and so you have to park you have to move your car after every few hours. And there's 12 of us total, including tons of little kids. So rather than all of us trying to go locate the cars to move them we just sent to dad.

Harper

So the dad went springing out to the parking lot.

Jenny

And the floors, the grounds really uneven and–

Bridget

Corroded.

Jenny

Yeah, corroded. And so when I was being pushed my . . . we hit it, really hard. And I ended up flying backwards. I fell off my walker, and I hit my head really hard and my back. And when I tried to get up, I couldn't, I started vomiting.

And so I realized real quick that I couldn't move. And so everybody was panicking,

Harper

Nobody helped us or anything.

Jenny

Yeah, there was crowds all around us. And then they my kids decided to pray.

Harper

And Walker said–our older brother–said the prayer and it was very short and sweet. And then he and his friend had to go run to find the dads.

Jenny

Yeah, he basically asked for help. And then our friend who was there with us, said, "You know what, you guys go find the dads. Go find them." Because I needed a blessing and we didn't have a preisthood holder there that could give it to me. And then all of a sudden a nurse–

Harper

A nurse came out of nowhere from the crowd and helped us call the paramedics and like try to calm us down and tell us everything that would be okay.

Jenny

And then all of a sudden, familiar friends from our hometown and ward, Orlando, Florida, all of a sudden showed up and they were like ministering angels to the kids.

They were like, really scared. And, and it was exactly what my kids needed to feel okay, like it was–and then he gave me a blessing. And all of a sudden, we knew it was gonna be okay. And we were–the Lord was aware of us and we ended up having a most amazing trip. That trip was the best trip of our lives. And, and there's more, if you want to hear more, call us and let us know.

Harper

Yeah!

Bridget

Bye!

KaRyn Lay

Okay, I'm seriously like, this is gonna be a weird show, because I can't stop crying about anything. That was a darling story and I'm just like, weeping, as I think about how amazing people are.

Anyway, my favorite thing about . . Jeez, I've got to get it together. Get it together, KaRyn!

One of the things that I have loved over these last four years is when people tell me that they listen with their families. I have so many memories of my own family sitting around, especially my grandparents and my aunts and uncles telling stories in family settings.

And the thought that our little podcast could be something that families can rally around? And that will excite kids to tell their faithful stories is just like the best thing ever. I am so grateful for all of the kids who've learned to love storytelling and to feel that feeling and to know that those moments, the moments of prayer, or their first experience with a priesthood blessing, or friends showing up out of nowhere in the middle of Washington DC on the mall, that those things–that those are God. And that they can identify that and share it with other people. That is the coolest thing. That's the coolest thing we've ever done you guys.

Katie Lambert

Yes, for sure.

Erika Free

Yeah, I–I really loved when I got to produce the story with Houston and Hadley. I don't know if our listeners remember that one.

KaRyn Lay

Yes, I love that story.

Erika Free

Yeah, at first I was kind of unsure because I had never worked with kids. I was like, I'm not sure, you know, I usually–when I'm directing people through recordings, I'm usually working with adults. So I didn't know what to expect. But I mean, they know how stories work! They have their storytelling skills, and they know where to put in humor and they know how to build tension. And it was, yeah, it was just a reminder that stories are for every age.

Katie Lambert

Can I tell you something really nerdy?

KaRyn Lay

Oh, of course.

Katie Lambert

So I'm going through a graduate program right now. And I was doing, I was looking at some studies, and they actually say that stories is how people remember information.

So when people say, "You know, I don't know if stories are that important." All of the Bible is stories. All the Book of Mormon is stories. All of the Doctrine and Covenants and all scripture are just stories, and they help us remember the important things. So I love that these kids are catching on to that so early.

KaRyn Lay

Totally. And you know, what's really interesting too, Katie, is that our brains are wired for story. It's the way that ancient traditions used to pass down all of the things that they were trying to teach.

Katie Lambert

Right. So speaking of stories, there's one that I really want to share with you guys. So you know that–

KaRyn Lay

I'm so excited.

Katie Lambert

Oh, you should be, because you know that I'm super scared of bears, right?

KaRyn Lay

Yes. Like, deeply. . . existentially terrified of them.

Katie Lambert

Yes, like unreasonably scared. Well, this lady she had, like, my worst nightmare happen to her. So we just have to play it, we just have to find out what happens.

Sheri

My name is Sherri Newton. I learned a lot about the peace that comes when we let God prevail. Because we got–my husband and I got chased by a bear in the northern part of Idaho.

We were riding on a bike trail, had been going for longer in the day than we had planned and ran into a bear right on the trail who skittered off to the side and we made some noise and that that was the end of it. And we're chattering about that exciting, you know, occurrence.

And then we look over to my right and discover that that bear is running alongside us down the trail about 20 yards out. He followed us for about 300 yards and then he disappeared.

So my husband dropped back to be the protector and I cycled even faster ahead. And next thing we know, not long later, we both saw the bear angling in toward me. My husband's saw it first and then I saw it and he was about 30 feet ahead of me in the trail when he decided to stop and face me.

And I had been saying a lot of open-eyed prayers, and they definitely weren't stopping then. So I just remember thinking, "What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?"

I didn't ask the Lord to save me from anything or–and I imagined all the things that could happen, I was accepting that and just asking what I should do. And what I did, is veer straight for him at 18 miles per hour, screaming in my best Wicked Witch of the West voice, and he ran off.

And then we had another half a mile to go before we got to our vehicle. And that has really taught me a lot as I thought back on–think back on it, on the blessings that come when we just let it go. We let God prevail. Joseph Smith didn't go to a grove of trees to ask for his family financial problems to be fixed, or their family to all choose the same religion. He asked got what He wanted Him to do. And that is a beautiful thing. That's when God really helps us grow and make miracles happen. That's my pitch. Thanks.

KaRyn Lay

Could you imagine a bear running alongside you on a road? I think I would lose my mind. I would lose my mind. And I'm not even like particularly scared of bears, I think.

Katie Lambert

Gosh, I mean, I love it for the bear–well, I don't love bears. But you know, it intrigued me because of the bear. But what I really liked was that she prayed for what she should do. There's this other podcast we have called, "Sunday on Monday," and one of my heroes on that's name is HB.

And she always says that God isn't a vending machine, you can't just ask Him for things and hope that He'll give them to you. It's more of a partnership. And so I love how she mentioned that she asked him, "What she should do." And then she just had the feeling to–and then she just kept going. And she yelled at it, even though it was big and scary. And I feel like there's so many things in our lives that are big and scary. But we just have to work with God and get through them together.

KaRyn Lay

And sometimes run towards them.

Erika Free

Yeah. Screaming I love that part of it.

Katie Lambert

[Laughter]

KaRyn Lay

Run towards it screaming. Yeah, that's a–that's a great lesson. And I love–this is what I love about some of these pitches. Three minutes is not very much time to create an emotional experience for someone and you guys did it. So many of you created an emotional experience in three minutes. Congratulations! So cool. Such good storytelling.

Erika Free

I also love that she was able to find a gospel takeaway from this experience, I don't know if I would have made that connection, I would have been like, "Guys, I was chased by a bear, it was wild." And then it just would have ended there. And so I love how she like reflected on it and learned things from it. And, you know, had–it changed her in a way that I don't know that I would have been able to make that connection.

KaRyn Lay

You know, I actually think that's a spiritual gift. I think it's a spiritual gift to be able to look at a situation and see the spiritual lesson in it. And if there's one thing that I have learned, it's not a gift you can't ask for. I really believe this.

If you're in a place in your life where things are happening and you've got adventure, or maybe it doesn't look like adventure, things are happening. And you're like, "I don't see God in this experience," I really feel like if you ask Him to show you Himself in whatever experience it is that you're having, He'll do that. He'll give you that.

But it's a gift you have to practice and it's a gift you have to ask for.

Erika Free

Yeah, I love that.

KaRyn Lay

Okay, I'm ready to share another one. And then I don't want to take too many turns. But I have so many cool ones. This is one that I loved when I first heard it, and I made a huge note on the document that we use for the pitch line to follow up with this friend.

We just never had the right theme for it. So I think you know, a lot of times with these pitches, we may have loved them, and we were like, "Hold this one for the perfect theme." And sometimes the theme just didn't quite materialize in the season that we had. So I'm excited to share this one with you.

Jess

Hi guys. This is Jess Bourgeous. In Doctrine and Covenants, section four, verse three, it says, "If you have the desire to serve God, you're called to the work." I had no idea that the work God had in mind for me was in the war torn nation of Afghanistan.

I served a mission in Brazil. It was a full time honorable mission. However, afterwards, I couldn't quite shake this idea that I'd fallen short as a missionary, like I could have done a better job, I could have been more mature, could have worked harder. And I should have been picked for more leadership opportunities.

Fast forward a number of years–I'm married, I'm a father of two with one more on the way. I'm a staff sergeant in the Utah National Guard. I'm about to be deployed to Afghanistan. It's an interrogation mission. I was going to interrogate Haqqani Network operatives and Taliban fighters captured on the battlefield.

A couple of weeks before going, I got my knees and I prayed earnestly, I asked the Lord, that somehow this deployment could make up for how I fell short on my mission.

No sooner do I finish this prayer, my dad barges in the room gives me a Father's blessing, the blessing it says that, you know, people will be brought to the gospel because of my actions in Afghanistan. I was very skeptical, very skeptical, and I didn't connect the dots at all.

The following Sunday, the Bishopric pulls me into their office and the first counselor says to me, "Jess, we have no idea why we feel strongly strongly prompted to set you apart as a ward missionary." "Okay, got it." I accept, they set me apart right then and there.

That sets into motion a series of events, that leads to a lot of different things. We come across some people, some contractors with Mozambique, and one of them was not ready for the gospel until about the time we met. And he told me he was a member, I don't think he quite understood. So we took him to church, translated for him. And because it was Portuguese, just like Brazil.

And you know, and then eventually he goes home. And then I get an email from a missionary in Mozambique. And he says, "Hey, we don't know what you did over there but this guy was not about getting baptized, he did not want to join the Church even though his family did. And you know, they weren't married," it was one of those things and so, "But now he has a great love for the Savior and the Gospel. And he's going to get married, and this family is going to get baptized."

And so what I learned is that when you ask to serve, you will get called. And also, it was a tender mercy for me, because Afghanistan is a terrible place right now, and it taught me about hope. Alright, thanks, guys.

KaRyn Lay

I don't know why–I mean, I love that story for obvious reasons, there's a miracle in it. And I love that, that feeling of second chances on some level, not all of us get to have that. But I love that Jess got to have that.

In fact, dang it, there should have been a theme on second chances.

Erika Free

That would be a great one.

KaRyn Lay

I know, it would have been so good. But that's great. Hey, friends, if anyone wants to start a storytelling podcast, do one on second chances and call up our friend Jess. So anyway, I just really loved that. I loved the way that he was able to help us find our way through this kind of epic journey that he took.

Katie Lambert

I really like Jess' story for a lot of reasons. But one of them that really stuck out to me was that he expressed a feeling of not being enough, or his efforts not being enough.

And it was really funny because I was just in my car today and that's the place where I say a lot of prayers. And I was like, "I just don't feel like I'm enough." Like, "I don't feel like I'm trying hard enough. I don't feel like I'm doing the best job I could." And I just had this feeling that says, "You're okay. You're doing a good job, it's gonna be fine."

And I think that so often we get those feelings of inadequacy in that we're not enough, but Heavenly Father's always there to tell us that "You've got this. You can keep going. You can do a good job." Like, "Just hang in there. You've got it." So I love how he had that chance again, to feel like he was enough when he went over to Afghanistan.

Erika Free

Yeah.

Okay, I have another one I want to share. I really like this one.

Katie Lambert

Yeah, I'm excited to hear it.

KaRyn Lay

Why is this one special to you, Erika?

Erika Free

The reason I want to share it is because I feel like it illustrates this principle really well that I remember talking about with KaRyn when I was an intern and I was learning how to produce stories and learning how to direct people through telling their stories and ask the right questions.

KaRyn was talking to me about how you know, we have these huge, sometimes epic adventure stories, we have these smaller, quiet stories, but they all come down to this one moment. They come down to this moment where something changes–where God communicates something or someone else communicate something, just this moment that it all boils down to. And I feel like this story does a beautiful job like it's an epic pitch, but it still comes down to this small moment that could happen anywhere.

Kris

Hello, my name is Kris Van Dusen. And I've actually kind of been binge listening to your podcast and I appreciated them and felt inspired that I need to kind of share this story. And I don't know if it meets all the criteria or whatever, but here goes anyway.

My story is about a 10 year old girl, a wheelchair and a children's song and how those things combined to have a very powerful impact of the spirit of my life and the lives of others, and also how Heavenly Father really knows us, and how He puts us in a position to bless His children.

So here's basically a synopsis of my story. My wife, Kathy is an emergency room nurse, and I'm a physical therapist. And in 2010, we were fortunate enough to be able to go to Haiti, just a couple of weeks after the big earthquake there, and volunteer our services.

As a nurse and a therapist we saw lots of very devastating injuries, loss of life and limb were everywhere you looked. We heard stories that were absolutely horrific. It was a depressing place to be. But at the same time, it was really a place of hope and faith and, and there was just a great outpouring of gratitude there. And it was awesome.

We really felt at time that we were mourning with those that mourn, it was just really a neat experience. So basically, the story is mostly about a 10 year old girl that I work with her name was Francesca, she had sustained a significant injury to her right leg. And she . . . I'm sorry, trying to run away from my dog that's using a squeaky toy.

She um–during the time that I worked with Francesca, I learned that she was LDS and it was mostly because he had the best wheelchair in camp. And it was a Latter-day Saints charity wheelchair, it had the church logo on the back.

The story kind of culminates with Francesca needing to have surgery. And she actually basically just held my hands during the entire surgery, awake, and we both sang either "I'm a Child of God," or Families Can Be Together Forever," all the while she was awake. And it was just completely awesome. And I don't want to take up any more time. But thank you for listening. Bye.

KaRyn Lay

Erika, I can see why you love that story. What a sweet–I mean, first of all, I love that he was running away from his dog during the pitch because–

Erika Free

I know.

[Laughter]

KaRyn Lay

We've spent so much time shutting doors and like closing off our houses as we record during the pandemic. But even more than that, I just love that that mourning with those who mourn was illustrated in a really clear way, right? He's just holding her hand singing primary songs. And we didn't even get to hear how he was different after that experience, which is a question that we often ask at the end of a recording, is how are you different now because of this experience?

Erika Free

Yeah, which can be a hard thing to answer sometimes, I think. I feel like I ask that in a lot of story recordings and I feel like 80% of the time people kind of sit there for a second and have to think about that because it's . . . sometimes it's subtle. It's hard to put words to it, but these moments are changing us. And I really like that question because it helps us outline in what ways they are.

But yeah, I just really–I just thought this story was so sweet. And like you were saying KaRyn a very practical application of mourning with those that mourn.

KaRyn Lay

And you all know how I love practical things. So that–I really adore that.

Erika Free

I . . . I know I've shared a lot today, but I have another one I want to share. So–

KaRyn Lay

You love–it's because you love the pitch line, Erika.

Erika Free

I do. I really do.

KaRyn Lay

So you should share as many as you need. I mean, we only have an hour, but I think–I'm excited to hear all of the stories you have.

Erika Free

I'm not kidding you, the first time I sat down to look through the pitch line. I was like, "This is my dream job. I'm just listening to stories that people are telling, real stories." Anyways, this one's a little bit more heartbreaking, but she tells it so beautifully.

Lora

Hi, my name is Laura Sullivan. And my story is about forgiveness, or rather the blessing that came to me as I was able to forgive my husband for something that he did to our son.

We both had children, our children are IVF babies. So we tried a long, long time to get them and our second one was definitely a miracle that came through insurance money because my father had passed away so there's a lot of emotion with that.

But when my son James was nine months old, my husband was taking care of him on a Saturday morning, he was on the kitchen counter in a little Bumbo and my husband was making breakfast and I was with our older son, who was three and a half at the time–no four, four years old at the time.

And we were all giggling and playing and having a good time when I heard a thump and I knew that my baby had fallen off of the counter. It had happened before on my husband's watch. And for some reason he was unaware of James's capability in moving.

He would put his little foot down and he moves himself around. And . . . it was terrible. My heart went to my shoes, my son started crying. And I knew it was the cry of true traumatic pain, not just scared.

So we hurried, quickly got dressed, went to the hospital or a clinic. And we were able to get in, see somebody. He–at this point, he was acting pretty normal and the doctor there wasn't too worried about him, but decided that because he had fallen off of a counter, he said, you know, "Let's just go put you into the emergency room, and let's get a CT scan, just to make sure that everything's okay."

My son was laughing, he was his mostly normal, happy self. So we went in to get the CT scan just to clear everything up and make sure that everything was okay and rest our hearts. And I was in the room when the doctor came back after the scan, and he said, "Life Flight's on the way." And my heart just sunk to my shoes. He had a fractured skull, and he needed to be Life Flighted.

There is more to the story. But the part that I want to get to is my son is still with us. But the anger that I had at my husband was real, and powerful. Because it was his fault that this accident had happened. And I had a lot of anger and bitterness in my heart. But the miracle came, not just in having our child live and be okay, but the miracle came for me when we were sitting in Primary Children's . . . oof, goodness.

And two men came around and asked if we would like the sacrament on that Sunday. And we of course, did, as we're sitting there in our street clothes. And I was so angry. I was so angry with my husband. And as I listened to the sacrament prayer and thought about what it meant to follow and remember the Savior, I knew that I had to let it go.

And it was taken from my heart, the anger was. I remember turning to my husband and telling him that the hurt and the doubt would take some time to go away, but I forgave him. And that that was no longer part of being angry in my heart. So anyway, that is all. Bye.

KaRyn Lay

Katie, you're not a super emotional person, you've already told us that. But that story, I could feel something something inside of you. Maybe it's because you're relatively new mom?

Katie Lambert

Oh, yes. I was just telling my husband, I don't think I've loved a human more than I've loved my daughter. If something like that happened to her, I don't know how I would react. I'd like to think that I would be like this lady and forgive her husband, but that would be such a hard, hard thing to shoulder.

But what I really loved about it was that she was able to use the Sacrament–which I feel like is such a routine thing for us that sometimes we overlook its importance–as a way to be delivered from this incredible burden that she had that she felt so angry towards her husband and was trying to reconcile those feelings.

And I love how she also said, you know, "I'm not ready to trust you like I was before. But I do forgive you." And I think that's important to, to recognize that even though we do have the Atonement, sometimes it takes a long time to heal completely from a traumatic experience like that. And so that's what really struck me with them.

KaRyn Lay

Yeah, and I love that she–one of the things that I think is so important for us to remember is that emotion is a normal part of being a human. And anger isn't–anger can spur us towards something, if we allow it to. We always think, oh, it's so terrible to be angry and maintaining anger for a long time can be, but without that anger, she wouldn't have had that really beautiful experience of turning it over to Christ. Recognizing that He can absorb even these things that feel really negative like He has space for all of our negative–things we perceive as negative, right?

Erika Free

Yeah.

KaRyn Lay

And if she had hung on to that it could have become a real thorn.

Erika Free

Yeah, and I love how like in within this three minute pitch too, her connection back to the Savior was so quick. I mean, "Real stories of real people living the gospel," the gospel of Jesus Christ. And I like how she–that's where she turned to.

KaRyn Lay

Erika, can I just say, I think that we have tried over the last four years to always bring it back to Jesus. You know? Like all of our storytellers have understood that that's where this all comes from and where it all leads. So we have time for one more pitch line recording. And I, this one has been on a list for us for–since 2019. And I'm so excited that we at least get to share it here. It's a lovely story, and I think you're going to love it.

Dior

Hi, my name is Dior Tidwell, and I thought that maybe this might fit under "Sacred Ground." I was in the middle of a terrible divorce. And the only place that I could find any rest was in temple. The only place I could–that my spirit could just chill out.

And for months and months, when I would go, no matter what I was doing, whether it was initiatory or endowment or sealing, I would get French names. French names, French names, French names. And my name is French. And my mom loves France. And I love France. And I had been to France a few years beforehand, and just fell in love with the people and the culture and the food and everything about it.

And so I just thought it was interesting that every time I noticed, why am I getting all these French names? One day, I was walking out of the temple from doing sealings, and I heard a Frenchman voices that said, "The French are fighting for you." And I just really felt like–that I had an army of these people, and that they were bound to help me because I had helped them and that they–and they were and they would.

And I felt their power and their help through this really dark, crummy time in my life and it was such a blessing. And I think that those are some of the blessings I mean, I have a lot more than that. But that was just one time that going to the temple really blessed me and I feel like still does. Thanks. Bye.

KaRyn Lay

Okay, I don't know about you guys, but I totally wish the French were fighting for me.

[Laughter]

I want the French to fight for me. So I–that whole idea of hearing that when we go to the temple and we participate in these covenants and this work for those on the other side, I am just–it's so cool to think that they're fighting for us. Like we're helping them, they're helping us I–that's why it's been on the list since 2019, because it's such a great little story about how our ancestors are part of our lives right now, right here.

Katie Lambert

It totally reminds me of this thing I heard that, yeah, Christ is our redeemer and there's a lot of peace that comes with Christ. But He's also going to fight our battles for us and He's going to fight for freedom from our depression, freedom from our anxieties, freedom from–just our earthly worries. And I would like the French to fight for me, like for sure, but I know that Christ is also fighting for me and He always will fight for me.

KaRyn Lay

Yeah, oh yeah, I love that.

Erika Free

And I love how when we listen to the stories of other people going through similar things that it's a reminder of that–at least for me. It's like, oh, someone is struggling with this and the Savior helped them with it, I can see that in my life now too. Or other people are fighting for me. Other people that–I, even if I never know them, I hear their story and I feel like they're in this fight with me.

KaRyn Lay

Yeah, isn't that the best part about storytelling? I mean, this is the perfect way to end this little segment of the show today, this idea that we–by telling our stories, by sharing our stories with one another–we are gathering each other into our sacred places. We're fighting for each other. I've never even thought of it that way.

We are absolutely fighting for each other when we share our stories because we're normalizing and bringing into the light things that people feel they are completely alone in. And we're never alone. We are never alone.

I just have to say one other thing. And this is really important. I mentioned that we have had Dior's story on a list for three years. And as we were talking about this, we–I realize that you know I'm sure there are some of you who are listening right now whose hearts are a little bit broken that we didn't call you, or that we weren't able to share your story, or maybe we even contacted you once and then it just didn't work out or something happened.

And I just want you to know that we have loved you, and we have loved your stories. And we've been really trying hard–we've tried really hard over the last years, to let the Spirit guide us in terms of where each episode goes.

And for those of you who felt prompted to call, because we heard that all the time, we heard people say, "You know, I was listening to the podcast, and you asked if there's stories and I felt the Spirit tell me 'Call'," I don't want you to think that that prompting was wasted.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that promptings can happen at any time and the fruition of those promptings may not come for some time. But the right story at the right time, in the right venue with the right people, all of those things have to come together. And if it wasn't the right time for this podcast, that doesn't mean that it's not going to be the right time for you in the future. So hold on to your hope that your story has power because God still knows what your story can do for other people, and if we had 20 more years, we could produce all the beautiful stories.

Thank you, Erika. Thank you, Katie. This has been such a joy to work with you and to be a part of this project with you. Thanks for bringing your whole hearts and your expertise to, "This Is the Gospel."

Erika Free

I've loved it. I've loved every second and every conversation I've had with people I will take with me forever.

KaRyn Lay

I absolutely loved spending this time with Erika and Katie just thinking about the pitch line and all of the good that came from those phone calls–from all the phone calls that you sent in our direction. So I called up my friend Sarah, she and I co-produced this thing for a really long time. I wanted to make sure that she got a word in on this very last episode. So I asked Sarah a little bit about her experience with the pitch line and how this podcast and being part of this podcast has changed her. Hey, Sarah.

Sarah Blake

Hey, KaRyn.

KaRyn Lay

Okay.

Sarah Blake

I'm glad you called me.

KaRyn Lay

I'm so glad I called you too. I love you so much.

Sarah Blake

I love you too.

KaRyn Lay

I know, this was such a great experience. And now you get the chance to tell us all about you and the pitch line.

Sarah Blake

Okay. Well, when I think about the pitch line, mostly it was a giant spreadsheet that I would look at on meetings with you guys sometimes. But I was never that involved in going through it. But I would say that I was more of the–not the pitch line person but the pinch hitter when we had an episode and a hole in it. Like two or three stories that fits but we needed something else to flesh it out, and I was the person who would say okay, let me go back to my life and see if I have a story here.

KaRyn Lay

Well, and I could always trust–I could always trust that you would have a story to add in. That was the best part, Sarah.

Sarah Blake

My life has been so fascinating.

KaRyn Lay

[Laughter]

Sarah Blake

But it was a really good exercise for me to go find like the meaning in the regular stuff that happens too, which is I think the biggest thing I learned about stories from the podcast.

KaRyn Lay

Yeah, tell me more about that.

Sarah Blake

So I was thinking about this. And I think that–okay, the first thing that came to mind was one of our earlier episodes about forgiveness. And we had a couple of stories, but we felt like we needed one more, especially one a little more–with a lighter tone.

And I was like, well, I could tell a story about how we got a puppy and I thought I wanted the puppy and then I hated her so much. And I learned to forgive her. And my husband, KC, who was involved with the podcast then too and was like, "That's not really a story."

And I was like, "Ah. . . I think it can be." And then as I thought about it, and then as I told it, and recorded it, I was like, this is totally a story. The story was that I got a puppy and I was also pregnant with two little kids. And I just hated how much work the dog was, and how gross she was all the time. And I was filled with rage about her all the time.

And then I learned–and it actually became an opportunity for me to learn to practice the Atonement, and to turn to Christ in like my daily life again, and again, because I was so mad at the dog, right. And it seemed like a small thing, but as I told it, it made it clear that it had actually been an important lesson for me and the practice of thinking about it, retelling it, and like giving it a name in storytelling, made it an even more permanent part of me, and even more permanent lesson.

And I think that is what stories can do for us, right? In any situation that we deal with in life there's multiple truths about it, there's a negative truth and there's also a more positive spin and they're both true. But I think what matters most is the story we tell ourselves about what we experience and how we frame and make sense and meaning out of it. And the practice of telling stories, especially knowing we had a theme or a topic and then finding I had stories that–where this thing made sense for me, that was really valuable. And I'm really grateful for it.

KaRyn Lay

I'm grateful for it too, because I think you're absolutely right. Like until somebody–sometimes until we said that theme we didn't think we had a story about it. And then then if you really–if you really step into it a little and sit with it, you're like, "You know what? Actually, I do know that, and how do I know that? A story. But in the act of telling it–I love how you said it becomes part of who you are,

Sarah Blake

It becomes your own tale, right? Yeah. I feel like the podcast and hearing other people's stories and kind of collecting them–I thought a lot about Mormon editing and compiling the Book of Mormon. And it made me see the scriptures as books about writing books or stories about the stories that we tell, especially . . . especially the Book of Mormon, because Mormon is like–you hear his voice as an editor talking about his choices and what he's–what he's keeping, what he's discarding. What he feels is most important.

And it made me think how much–I mean if it's important in our scripture, the stories that we tell, the stories that we keep and retell, and turn to again and again, then of course it's important in our own lives and in our families, and our friendships and our ward families, you know.

KaRyn Lay

It gives new meaning to testimony meeting, doesn't it?

Sarah Blake

Right, because it binds us to each other and it gives us examples from other people's lives. And it makes the feelings that we have that are kind of vague and nebulous, like just stuff that happened to us, but you put it into words, and it's a new level of real.

KaRyn Lay

So true. Sarah, this whole experience–there's no one I would have rather done it with.

Sarah Blake

I know same. It was really special. I remember the first time you called me to talk about it, and I was walking around pulling weeds in my backyard. It was like a powerful memory so it sticks. And now–

KaRyn Lay

Now you think of me every time you pull weeds, that's really special.

[Laughter]

That's the kind of friends we are.

Sarah Blake

Yeah.

KaRyn Lay

Thanks, Sarah.

Sarah Blake

Sure.

KaRyn Lay

As you can imagine, my heart is just filled to overflowing with love for all of you. For all of you who've trusted us with your story. And for those of you who never felt the tug of the pitch line, but showed up each episode ready to hear the spirit testify through the lived experiences of others.

Listen, I'm an extrovert. My parents would tell you that from a really early age, I was writing plays and bossily directing my siblings and their debut performances. And if you gave me a stage or quiet moment at the dinner table, I would find something to say.

But if there's one thing that I've learned throughout this experience with you all, it's that the discipleship practice of witnessing is equally important to the practice of testifying. When we witness a baptism or act as a witness in a courtroom, we are offering verification that the thing that happened actually happened.

Being a human in this fallen world means that there will be more than a few times when the distance between heaven and earth is going to feel impossible to traverse. And we'll wonder if what we experience here in our humanity is real. Because it's really hard to feel known, like deeply known, not just by each other, but sometimes by God.

And I think that the job of the witness is to stand in for loving Heavenly Parents in the moments when we can't feel heavens eyes upon us, a really good listener with an open heart and a willingness to sit with us in our humanity is verification that this life and all of its attendant terror, and beauty is not for nothing. It happened. It's real. And it matters. And you and your story are known by and loved by the most powerful, supportive, kind, and epic creator of all.

There's one more thing I want to share with you before we sign off. The story of "This Is the Gospel," It isn't mine. It was Sara and Carrie and Celeste who invited me to be a part of organizing The Gatherings in the early 2000s, which is where I first recognized the power of storytelling and witnessing firsthand, and where the Spirit whispered that this kind of experience, this storytelling experience, needed to be in a communication medium where others could join in.

This was the time of MySpace and flip phones and podcasts weren't even on our radar or in our vocabulary, but we felt it. And we couldn't verbalize what we felt. But we knew it was real. And it took over 10 years before Sarah and I would team up again.

The story of "This Is the Gospel," is not mine. It was Heidi Swinton in 2015, who sat next to me on an airplane and talked with me quietly about the essence of the gospel, and the need to bear pure testimony about the things that actually matter, beyond all the cultural pressures of being a Latter-day Saint. It prompted me to write down the phrase, "This is the gospel," in my journal. And when I did that, I felt a jolt of something as I underlined the phrase over and over and over again. I knew it needed to be something. But I didn't know what.

The story of "This Is the Gospel," is not mine. Because it was Erin and Preston and Colin and Kensie and Jannalee and the rest of the LDS Living and Deseret Book teams, who helped to strategize and dream and turn "This Is the Gospel" into a video series before we even knew how to do podcasts. And it was one of our first producers Kendall who gave me the courage to host this thing and who taught me about the obligation to honor people's truths, to care for their vulnerability, and to invite authenticity.

It was Davey and Sarah and Casey and Danielle and Katie and Kelly and Emily and Erika and of course Derek who stepped up to the plate again and again to create beauty and adventure with expert story instincts and the right amount of pauses, and those well timed crescendos and those awesome car sounds. But the story of "This Is the Gospel," the miracles and talents and connections we made in the years of this project. They don't belong to any of these people either.

Not that long ago, I was working on a video project with Sister Reyna Aburto from the general Relief Society Presidency. Sister Aburto is a beacon of resilience and a woman I really admire who has had so many stories–hard, hard stories–that have built her faith in Jesus Christ.

We were talking about her life and what she'd learned through her experiences. And one of the questions that I had put into the production document that we sent over before the recording, asked her if it was hard for her to share her story. And as the interview progressed, it just seemed like this question, that particular question wasn't going to work with the flow of the rest of the segment.

So I assumed that it was going to get cut for time. And I started to direct the interviewer to wrap up the conversation when Sister Aburto said, "Wait, wait, I really wanted to talk about one more thing from your questions." She asked if we could talk about storytelling. And even though this wasn't a project about storytelling, my "This Is the Gospel" heart was like, "Yes!"

So the interviewer asked her, "Was it hard to share her story?" And this is what she said. She said, quote, "Yes, it is hard. In fact, I always cry when I tell the story of when my brother died, and all the things that we went through. But then I realized that there is power in telling our stories. That when people tell me their stories, something happens, we become more relatable. And I realize that they are just human beings like I am. And I think that others can see that we are not alone. Of course, we need to follow the Holy Ghost in the way and the time and the context that we tell our story, and then at some point I realized that my story does not belong to me. It really belongs to God because He is the one who made me and I also need to be able to testify about the miracles that He has made in my life, and hopefully that can help other people. That God is always around us, that He never leaves us alone, and that we can be the means to help others," end quote.

Friends, this is the gospel. Your story has power, and it belongs to God. He will prompt you and give you opportunities to testify of His goodness, again, and again if you open your heart to the possibility that your story can do His work. Not because you're special, even though you are, but because He loves you, and you are His. I don't know what God has in store for me or for you as we move forward in our efforts to emulate and follow Jesus Christ towards our home.

I am banking on a few more surprises worthy of a story or two. But my deepest hope, my deepest hope, is that you will come back to the episodes of this podcast that have changed you and share them when it matters the most.

I am so grateful for this opportunity. I am different because of these years of witnessing you. And like Erika pointed out, it may take me some time to articulate–to fully articulate all the ways that I am different because of it. But I know–I know that I am changed.

That's it for, "This Is the Gospel." Thank you to all of our storytellers over the years for their bravery, their trust, their good hearts and their willingness to let the Spirit guide their lives and our production.

You can learn more about all of our "This Is the Gospel" storytellers in our show notes at LDSliving.com/thisisthegospel. All of the stories in this episode are true and accurate, as affirmed by our storytellers. And if you want to stay up to date on all the best stories that Deseret Book and LDS Living have to offer do not unsubscribe from this podcast. Just because regular episodes are done, stick around.

Because when a new podcast comes out, this feed will be a great place to learn about it first. You can still follow us on Facebook or Instagram at @thisisthegospel_podcast. And if you've had a life changing experience with this podcast, we'd still love to hear about it. Our team reads every review and it brightens our hearts to hear how stories are blessing yours. You can leave that review on Apple, Stitcher or whatever platform you listen on.

This last episode was co-produced by Erika Free, Katie Lambert and me, KaRyn Lay. We're so grateful for the team of talented people who've made this podcast a reality over the years. Kelly Campbell, Danielle Wagner, Emily Abel for stepping into edit stories when we needed an extra hand. Davey Johnson, Sarah Blake, KC Blake and Derek Campbell for joining forces with us early on in the process to make this podcast everything that it has been and more.

Our killer marketing and editorial team Megan Jensen, Nate Hjorth, Kensie Smith, Colin Rivera, Haley Lundberg, Morgan Jones, Jamie Armstrong, Jannalee Sandau, Lindsey Williams, Danielle Christiansen and countless interns who charmed us with their passion for transcripts.

A big thanks to Dennis Agle and Abraham Robledo for video help and being our number one fans. And of course, none of this would have been possible without the tireless support of our endlessly visionary executive producer Erin Hallstrom.

I have to thank my husband Justin and our kids for making space–literally making space in our home–for me to talk to strangers for hours on end and write late into the evenings when we all should have been sleeping. You are my best story.

You can find past episodes of this podcast and other LDS Living podcasts at LDS Living.com/podcasts. Thank you all so much for inviting me into your lives and for letting us share this experience with you.