We All Marry the Wrong Person At First

In response to a woman's worries that she might have married the wrong person, marriage therapist Geoff Theurer aptly replied: "I believe we all marry the wrong person when we get married. None of us are who we need to be when we’re first married. Our reasons for getting married are often about us.

"We tell ourselves things like, 'He’s just like me,' or 'She likes what I like,' or “He’s attractive to me.” The list goes on with evidence of why this person works for us. We often select someone because they make us feel a certain way. In other words, most of our reasons are self-centered. At some point in the course of marriage, however, our commitment must expand beyond our own narrow self-interest."

This reminds me of President Monson's timeless counsel to "choose your love and love your choice." 

For most my marriage I felt like I married the wrong person, and it’s never quite felt right to me. What has always felt right is my relationship with God and my career. Even being a mother to my kids feels right. Marriage never has.

There was a time when we were engaged that my dad (who I’m close to and who is a really good man) counseled me to break it off with my husband. I was stubborn and I didn’t. I’m getting hung up on that and wondering about what my life could have been like if I had made a different choice.

At some point I know I need to figure out how to want and love the husband and life I have, but I’m not there yet. I know he loves me and he’s trying so hard. Talking about this to him would not be productive.

Lead image from Meridian Magazine.
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