Primary Kids Say the Darndest Things!

On our Facebook page, we asked readers to share their favorite “Primaryisms.” We couldn’t stop laughing at the silly things our readers used to say as kids or that their kids say now.

I Am a Child of God, and So . . .

“I am a child of God, and so my knees are great!”

“Has given me an earthly home, with parents kind of weird.”

“With parents kind of dear.”

All Creatures of Our God and King

“High on a mountain top, a badger chased a squirrel.”

“Has given me an earthly home, with parrots kind and dear.”

“We believe in being honest, true, chased by an elephant.”

From the Sealed Scriptures

My brother-in-law thought that in “Love One Another” there was this really cool “church word,” shalmenno (by this “shall men know”). He always wanted to know what shalmenno meant.

“God be with you till we meet again, by his councils guide uphold you. With his Shakespeares clearly fold you.”

My daughter Bree when she was four exclaimed one evening that she knew God’s first name—Henry—as in, “Dear Henry Father.”

A Primary child in a friend’s ward bore his testimony many years ago and said he knew Extra-Tough Benson was a prophet.

“Jesus came to John the bat-man.”

The Essentials of the Gospel

“I will go, I will do, the Lamanites’ commands.”

“I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know who I am. I know God’s plan. I’ll follow him in space.”

“Come, come, ye Saints, no toilet paper here.”

“I know who I am. I know God’s plan. I’ll follow Him in vain.”

“I’ll do what is right; I’ll follow his light. The truth is I complain!”

“Good tithings to you and all of your friends. Good tithings for Christmas, and a happy New Year.”

“For the temple is a house of God, a place for Sleeping Beauty.”

To Nourish and Strengthen

My daughter once demanded “acuporn cheese” on her popcorn. When I told her I had no idea what she meant she said, “You know, that stuff we sing about in Primary. ‘Popcorn popping and the acuporn cheese!’”

I once heard a story about a kid afraid to eat cherries because he thought the hymn “Dearest Children, God Is Near You” said “cherries hurt you, cherries hurt you” instead of “cherish virtue.”

“A sun bean, a sun bean, Jesus wants me for a sun bean.”

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