The How & Why Behind Surrendering Control in Your Marriage

by | Jul. 22, 2015

Mormon Life

MR says: In our marriages, we need to learn how to surrender control and be vulnerable so we can both become stronger together.

On a recent trip to Alabama, my mom gave me a book to read on the plane.

I was excited to see which one she chose for me. But as she handed over what looked like some kind of romance novel with a long-stemmed red rose pictured on the cover, I didn’t know whether to be disgusted or intrigued.

Then I read the title: “The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with a Man.”

Feminists, bear with me. . . .

Laura Doyle, author of “The Surrendered Wife,” . . . suggest[s] that women have developed the problem of perhaps feeling undermined by men and have since gone to the other extreme — always wanting to be completely in control, forcing things to be done “our way or the highway.”

“When I was choosing to control over allowing myself to be vulnerable, I was doing so at the expense of intimacy,” Doyle writes. “What I know now is that control and intimacy are opposites. If I want one, I can’t have the other. Without being vulnerable, I can’t have intimacy. Without intimacy, there can be no romance or emotional connection. When I am vulnerable with my husband, the intimacy, passion and devotion seem to flow naturally.”

Lead image from Deseret News.
Read the rest of this story at deseret.com
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