The season of Primary programs is upon us! And no matter if or how your ward will be participating, one thing is for certain—Primary children provide some of the sweetest and sometimes funniest moments in singing time. Take it from the chorister who recently had to convince one of her Sunbeams that the song is “I Will Be Valiant,” not “I Will Be Violent.” What we sing is not always what they hear and can often result in laughter and (hopefully) some needed clarification!
Bring a smile to your ward Primary chorister’s face or just give yourself a good laugh with some of our favorite hilariously misheard lyrics!
“I Am a Child of God”
From “parents kind of dear” to “parents kind of weird,” “and so my knees are gray,” and “teach me all that I’m a stew,” the lyrics to this well-known Primary song get confused more than we realize! Here are a few more comical answers from our Instagram page:
“I am a child of God. At least He sent me here.” —missnick92
“My son used to sing, ‘Lead me. Guide me. Walk beside me. Help me find the WHALE.’” —emily.welker
“For the longest time I thought the 3rd verse of ‘I Am a Child of God’ was, ‘If I butler to do His will ...” I pictured someone doing His bidding, like bringing His will on a tray.” —Jacob Shamy
“Love One Another”
Maybe it’s because we don’t use the word “shall” as often as we used to, but dozens of people wondered as a child what on earth “Shalmeno” meant! (By this shall men know). But there are a few other hilarious misunderstanding of this same line:
“I used to think that ‘By this shall men know’ in ‘As I Have Loved You’ was ‘By this shall minnow.’ I wondered why we were singing about a fish.” —joannagullperez
“My sister used to sing ‘By this chow mein noodle’ in ‘Love One Another.’” —enlynneclement
“My niece used to sing ‘As I Have Loved You’ like this: ‘As I have loved you, love one another. This new commandment, love one another. But don't shoot the men though, these are my disciples.’" —heartyhomeheritage
“Give Said the Little Stream”
Multiple combinations of confused lyrics are summed up in this comment:
“‘Give Seth a little string ... Give oh, give.’” —nicholasawrites
“I Love to See the Temple”
Perhaps it’s no surprise to the Disney-loving Latter-day Saint population that several children sang that the temple is “a place for Sleeping Beauty” or a place of “secret beauty,” but there are a few more lines that have been humorously heard wrong over the years:
“‘For the temple is a house of golf’" —lisasandstrom9
“I'll prepare myself like Brigham Young. This is my secret duty.’” —climel95
“I Hope They Call Me on a Mission”
One of the classic Primary songs about missionary work, these two interpretations left us laughing at the mental images they create!
“‘I hope they call me ammunition, when I have grown a foot or two.’” —tonyamomof4
“‘I hope they call me on a mission, when I have grown a foot or two. I hope my dinner will be ready.‘” —mrs_geertsen
Even though it is one of the most popular action songs in Primary, it sounds like it might be time to make sure our kids know what an apricot tree is!
“‘Popcorn popping on the Leprechaun tree.’” —yarleyvarley
“My daughter sings ‘popcorn popping on the apricot tree’ like ‘popcorn popping on the apricorn tree.’" —sharonfet
“Book of Mormon Stories”
“Righteously” is a hard word to say, let alone understand while singing. No wonder multiple kids sing about being “given this land if they lived right to sleep”! Take a look at a few of our other favorite misinterpretations.
“As a young primary kid, I came home from Primary singing ‘Uncle Norman Stories.’ My mom was a new convert and didn’t know those weren’t the right words, so we sang it that way for awhile in our house.” —scottsmissin
“‘Book of Mormon stories that my teachers tell to me. All about the Lamanites from far across the street.’” —thetherapizer
“A line from ‘Book of Mormon Stories’ as, ‘Lamanites met others who were seeking Listerine’ instead of liberty.” —beckaru911
“The Church of Jesus Christ”
After reading these hilarious misinterpretations, you might want to double-check that your Primary kids know exactly where we are following God before we sing this song in our Primary program!
“I know who I am. I know God's plan. I'll follow him in vain." —teannrhoads
“His truth we will propane” —kristymills493
“I know who I am. I know God’s plan. I’ll follow Him in space.” —camibunk
“When I Am Baptized”
As a song that is often sung at baptisms, it’s no surprise that a few of its words have been mixed up by the cute little voices singing it!
“‘I like to through windows whenever there is rain.’” —lindsay.burge
“‘I know when I am baptized my lungs are washed away’ was what my 4-year-old daughter thought until she could read!” —dixonlorrie
“Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam”
The word “beam” seems to be the biggest and most humorous culprit in this go-to Primary song:
“‘Jesus wants me for a string bean’ instead of sunbeam” —Kurt N Tracey Schwartz
“‘A sun beep, a sun beep. Jesus wants me for a sun beep!’” —Deborah Sedgwick Stapley
Other Primary Songs
“‘In my pretty garden, the flowers are naughty.’” —stuphfromsteph (From “In the Leafy Treetops”)
“‘I’m all made of ninjas ’cause everything bends.’” —tamarajwebb (From “Hinges”)
“My brother used to sing, ‘Jesus once was a little child, a little child like me, and He was pure and weak and wild, as a little child should be!’” —gramastew55 (From “Jesus Once Was a Little Child”)
“In ‘Jesus Said Love Everyone,’ I used to sing the last line as ‘mothers will love you’” —achiehoney
“‘The rains came down and the flowers came up’” —tlaulusa (From “The Wise Man and the Foolish Man”)
“I used to sing ‘Once there was a snowman, snowman ... tall, tall, tall ... in the sunny mountains, mountains.’” —mackenzie__curtis (From “Once There Was a Snowman”)
“My daughter Jenny loved to sing the song ‘Genealogy’ all the time ... one day she said, ‘Now let’s sing “Mommyology”.’” —jenadoxey (This song is now “Family History—I Am Doing It”)
“‘The Fourth Article of Faith’ song: I used to think it said, ‘fourth, laying on a fence for the gift of the Holy Ghost’" —bridgetpaulsen
“My son sang when he was 6 years old: ‘The Holy Ghost descended as gently as a bug.’“ —tamalaman8r (From “When Jesus Christ Was Baptized”)
“‘Follow the prophet, don’t go with strangers’ instead of don’t go astray’” —eagerbaby (From “Follow the Prophet”)
“When I was in a Spanish-speaking ward, they translated ‘I see my mother kneeling...’ as ‘Veo a mí madre hincarse ...’ but a little girl in Primary said, "Veo a mi madre en cárcel ...’ which is, ‘I see my mother in jail ...’ LOL We had to help her pronounce her Spanish clearer ... she was young, so she just heard it wrong. Made me laugh really hard though.” —flordlc003 (From “Love Is Spoken Here”)
► You may also like: We asked, you answered: 20+ hilariously sweet and funny things kids prayed for
Find additional funny submissions that didn’t make it into this compilation or share your own funny misheard lyrics on LDS Living’s Instagram!