Paving the Path to Peace with Lisanne Murphy and Nassari Everett

Kathryn Davis 00:00

We asked our community, what do you need most right now, and 90% of you responded with peace. Those prayers have been answered in President Nelson's talk peacemakers needed and we are going to talk about how we can apply it into our lives. Hi, and welcome to magnify an LDS Living podcast where we cheer, inspire and embolden each other. As women and followers of Jesus Christ, we hope to use our influence to make a difference in the world. I'm your host, Kathryn Davis, a mom, a seminary teacher and a grilling enthusiast who loves God. President Nelson's conference address peacemakers needed felt like a landmark talk. And it resonated so much with our community here at magnify one of our driving goals is to come together to cultivate what we need to live differently. Over the next few months, we want to dig into peace. What is peace? How do we find it? How do we create it? How do we share it? How do we receive it? How do we feel it? And mostly, how can we get more of it? To discuss those questions and dig deeper into peace? I'm joined by Nassari Everett and Lisanne Murphy. I just have to say, I'm really excited that you're both here today.

Lisanne Murphy 01:16

it's gonna be a blast.

Nassari Everett 01:17

I'm excited too.

Kathryn Davis 01:19

and I'm excited for what we get to discuss one of my very favorite talks, but we'll get into that in just a minute. But before we do, I want to ask you guys some questions. So we can all get to know you guys a little bit better.

Lisanne Murphy 01:32

Bring it on? Yes. Okay.

Kathryn Davis 01:34

I want to know from both of you. If you had a full day to spend however you would like, what would that day look like for each of you.

Lisanne Murphy 01:45

For me, it would be good friends, good food and lots of movement.

Nassari Everett 01:50

Like for me it would be sleeping in as much as possible. And it just not doing anything at all just being fed someone, someone feeding me.

Kathryn Davis 02:02

So you don't have to do anything. It's just all brought to you.

Nassari Everett 02:05

I don't have to do anything. Yes, exactly. Love it.

Kathryn Davis 02:09

That's a good answer. I remember just begging like, please, I just don't want to get in the car. If I could have an ideal day, it would not be getting in the car to drive. anybody anywhere. Okay, so I know you both have lived and traveled to different places all over the world. So I want to know if you could choose one place to live for a year, where would it be?

Nassari Everett 02:33

Mexico City for me.

Kathryn Davis 02:35

Really, why?

Nassari Everett 02:36

Because it's like, it's like a hub. You know, you get exposed to the art, but you can like drive a little bit. And then you're walking, where people walked 500 years ago and pyramids, and then everything if I want to go to the coast, it's just either a flight or a bus drive. I don't know. I just love I love Mexico City.

Lisanne Murphy 03:01

So I spent three months in Europe last year. And it was an incredible experience. And I spent my first month in Spain. And I went there not necessarily for Spain, but for some friends that were there but in the process completely fell in love with the country. And I would have no problem living there. I would love to become fluent in Spanish. The food was incredible. The culture was great. The architecture was amazing. The weather was perfect. I mean, man being being on the Mediterranean was absolutely amazing. So I would I would probably choose Spain.

Kathryn Davis 03:32

You know, my little sister lived there for a semester and she loved it. She said Spain is her favorite place. So fine. Okay, so here's my last question, which might be hard. This to me is kind of like picking a favorite child. I don't know what is your favorite kind of music and why?

Lisanne Murphy 03:51

So this has changed for me a lot throughout my life. But I think right now I would have to choose like the genre of New Age spiritual. I spend a lot of time thinking, pondering, meditating, writing. And there's just something about this new age spiritual music that just brings you to like a center and bring the spirit, and really just helps. It helps helps me focus. And so for me would be any music that inspires my soul to be my true authentic self. And that kind of tends to be that category right now.

Kathryn Davis 04:29

What about you, Nassari?

Nassari Everett 04:30

I love that. I just don't know the name of this type of music that I like, but it's it almost feels like movie soundtracks. Like they they're just regular bands, but their music kind of takes you there. I don't know how to explain it. It's just there's highs and lows and I would say like movie soundtracks

Lisanne Murphy 04:50

How about you Kathryn?

Kathryn Davis 04:52

Like I said that seriously hard when it depends on what I'm doing. If I'm like, driving in my jeep I love country music. And then if I'm working out, sometimes I didn't need a little bit more upbeat. I listen to my kids playlists. And you know, and then I really love Christian rock, like, I love it. And I play that all day in seminary. So that's what I said. Like, it's hard for me to pick like them all for different reasons. Okay, you guys, I'm really excited that we get to talk about President Nelson's talk at this last conference, his talk titled peacemakers needed, and I don't know about you two, but I remember when he gave that talk, it felt monumental to me. And I just remember listening to it. And there are those moments in life where I have listened and I have felt inside like, this is a prophet's speaking. Like I really felt that he was speaking from God with this talk. Did it feel monumental to either one of you?

Nassari Everett 06:04

It did. For me, it was a moment where he was saying, Stop what you're doing. You need to reset. This is now your new focus. And I literally did that. I think I was like serving up cinnamon rolls or something, you know, when he came on. And I just thought, This is what we need right now. We all want to be heard. We're all hurting. I don't know. It felt like the Lord threw him was saying, I give you permission to be peacemakers.

Lisanne Murphy 06:33

And you know, the the verbiage that I told the people that I was watching with was actually, okay, well, that was a talk from the Prophet of the world. And he was very clear, like how he spoke, he was speaking on a global level, the message was applicable from how nations treat other nations. He was talking on a media entertainment level on cancel culture and how we treat each other and how we react to each other's choices. He was talking on a familial level, he was talking on an intimate friendship level, like it was this topic that can span every connection that exists on the planet. And for me, it was this was a prophet this this is the world's prophets speaking at this moment, it was clear to me that he's very in touch with the issues. Yeah, he's not just like this 98 year old guy who like, is isolated like he is demonstrated to me that he knows what is happening in the world. And he knows what we're struggling with in our individual circumstances.

Kathryn Davis 07:42

Right? It felt like he was speaking as the watchman on the tower in all different levels. So Lisanne, when you're talking personally, or maybe in your community? What was the main message for you?

Lisanne Murphy 08:00

Yeah, the the main message for me there were a number of messages. I think that the, the overarching message was, what is the status of your heart? Because to me the messages, the message that was conveyed, it was much more than be nice. It was much more than comment kind things on the internet. It was what is the state of your heart, which I think is deep principally, but it also to be completely honest, created some conflict, because I don't think there's any human on the planet that doesn't have some relationship that has tension. Right? Life is full of tension. And so I found myself wrestling and grappling with okay. This is a call to a prophet to figure out this tension. And how do I do that and honor the scriptures and the words of Christ and the directives of the Prophet, but still without sabotaging myself, or breaking down boundaries that have been created that are necessary. And so while it was inspiring it did, it created tension for me.

Kathryn Davis 09:18

So it sounds like it required a lot of introspection on your part?

Lisanne Murphy 09:22

For sure. Hundred percent.

Kathryn Davis 09:23

Nassari, I really liked how you said that you felt like you needed to stop what you were doing, literally at the moment making cinnamon rolls, but did you feel a need for anything else? Like why stop what you were doing?

Nassari Everett 09:37

Well, I think in our family, you know, our with our boys, there are so many moments where there is no peace. You know, someone took a toy someone's bugging someone or house is in a wreck whatever it is, right? So I stopped everything because that is what I have been needing and what I've been wanting. And in fact, when I knew that this is what we were going to be talking about, I was like, Okay, I am going to change myself in the next two weeks. And I am going to come on this podcast, like a new person with all the experience of living in a peaceful world. And I don't know how many times I have been tried.

Kathryn Davis 10:27

I wish it worked that way.

Nassari Everett 10:28

You know? I know. And, you know, anyway, so I needed to just stop and listen, and know that it is possible. But it will take some time. It's a it's a choice. Every day, I will wake up and remind myself, this is what I'm choosing. I'll do the best I can.

Kathryn Davis 10:50

Yeah, well, President Nelson said that, right? Like contention is a choice. And peace is a choice, and then called on us to choose to be peacemakers now and always. But I wonder you guys, I think this is a feeling maybe why this was so relevant for so many of us is that I think we're all craving peace. In today's world, all of us in whatever sphere we're in. It just seems that there's not a lot of peace, and there's so much more contention. And Nassari, I like how you said that this was something that was an answer for you. Was it a prayer that you knew you had in your heart about peace? Did you recognize that was a need? Or was it when he was speaking, that you thought, oh, maybe this is something that is an answer to prayer.

Nassari Everett 11:42

No, it was definitely already. In my, in my heart. You know, we live in a world where we know what's going on through social media, or just the news, everything. And everything that is shared is always just something of how the world is suffering, whether it's like people of color, or countries, or religious groups that are suffering. And I just felt like I'm just surrounded by that, all of that and hearing all of it. And it just feel you feel kind of defeated, like I don't know how to show up in all of these different groups and help. That moment when President Nelson was speaking, the spirit for me was saying you need to concentrate in your home. Your home is where you are needed right now. Create that peace, that model of peace within. And then obviously, when I am out from my home, right and my children, that we may be able to influence those around us with that peace.

Kathryn Davis 12:46

Yes. So noticing your spheres of influence, and maybe focusing on the sphere that's needed right now. I want to know Lisanne? Was it an answer to your prayer?

Lisanne Murphy 12:56

For sure. I believe that for me how I interpreted it as that it was a call for every person to look inside themselves. First, peace has to come from within. I mean, Christ taught before He was crucified and John right. He says, Peace I give I give unto you not as the world giveth, give I unto you, let your heart not be troubled, neither let it be afraid. So I think Christ in that verse in John is teaching that peace comes from the heart and recognizing that, that he's basically also saying where a lack of peace comes from a lack of peace comes from being focused on our troubles, and being focused on fear. That is, as we tend to our hearts and we have faith, we find peace inside. Only then, can we reach outside. For me. I've learned a lot recently, that conflict is often us deferring our troubles externally to another source, to try to deflect personal responsibility.

Kathryn Davis 14:06

Tell me more about that.

Lisanne Murphy 14:07

Like it's very easy. Like if someone let's say, someone says something to us, that triggers us and makes us angry. It's very easy to say that person made me angry, that person stole like peace, when that's not true at all. All situations are neutral. We are the ones that assign value, positive or negative emotion to the situation. So if we find conflict with somebody, that's not their problem, it's not their responsibility, like that's us. We're the ones that created the issue. Were the ones that created the trouble, the fear, the lack of peace, and so it's our responsibility to deal with that. Not someone else, which is why I think that in the talk President Nelson says, Now most of you are probably thinking of somebody He else that needs this right now. And,

Kathryn Davis 15:03

and let's be honest, how many of us were thinking of other people who needed worse at that?

Lisanne Murphy 15:08

Of course,

Nassari Everett 15:10

absolutely.

Lisanne Murphy 15:11

And then he follows that line by saying like, he gives an invitation to look deeply inside again, saying, This is a you issue. This is not a them thing, whether the them no matter how offensive the them might be, no matter how socially inappropriate or politically inappropriate or whatever, by choosing to take offense by choosing to be in conflict, that is our problem. And he's saying it is your job to address those troubles that are in your heart.

Kathryn Davis 15:44

Which he says this, he says, I invite you to examine your discipleship within the context of the way you treat others, I bless you to make any adjustments that may be needed so that your behavior is ennobling, respectful, and representative of a true follower of Jesus Christ, as I went back and read that I just thought examine and make adjustments, which is, Lisanne, exactly what you're saying. I think this is such a great talk to talk about in theory, but he's asking us to not just talk about it in theory, right? He is challenging us to make adjustments. So in the last couple of weeks, have there been any adjustments that you have thought you could make in in your home Nassari, or Lisanne, in whatever sphere of influence you feel needs you the most to be a peacemaker?

Nassari Everett 16:36

So a lot of this happens in the mornings when we are getting ready to go to school, you know, we're all rushing, it's all of a sudden shoes don't fit. We've been doing this for so how many years and all of a sudden, nobody knows where that we that they have to go to school. It was even just this morning, one of our boys was playing with like a cup or something, and the other son grabbed it and was going to crush it or something like that. And so then they were like, Mom, he's doing this and da-da-da-da-da. And I And I'm driving to write, so I have to pay attention to remember, but I just say, Okay, we're taking turns. And I'm like, to my youngest. I'm like what happened. And then he tells me the other one interrupts all the things, but I just kind of stay as quiet as I can. If that makes sense. Like as calm. In my mind, I'm just thinking there's, there's only it's only a 10 minute drive. It's only a 10 minute drive, like I can do this. Because inside, I just want to say just be quiet, like stop fighting. It's not worth it. It's not important, right? It's just a cup. But then that's not the message that I'm sending. And it is very difficult, I need to share that this is something that I am working on. And I know that it's going to take me so long, you know, who knows how many years, but I also feel really good at the end. And I'm like, Okay, I didn't lose it. I didn't yell back and say stop.

Kathryn Davis 18:06

So in that one instance, did it make a difference? Or what changed? For you? And maybe for your children?

Nassari Everett 18:14

I don't know that really, truly made a difference? Or maybe it did I have, I should talk to them tonight and find out. But it did make a difference for me. Because my my goal is to have the spirit with me. And I want the spirit with me in my job. The fact that I'm that I work full time. And also, I'm a mother, right and a wife and I have callings at church. I can't afford to not have the Spirit with me. I need to have the Holy Ghost and Christ by my side in order to fulfill all of these different roles. If it means for me to just be quiet in 10 minutes, instead of giving in I hope that it's making a difference. But we have only started this recently. So I don't know. I hope so.

Kathryn Davis 19:09

Nassari, I love what you just said because it's like what Lisanne said earlier, it's changing the conditions of our hearts. Right?

Lisanne Murphy 19:17

Yeah, so something that I've recognized since Prophet gave the address was I've tried to recognize what mine or others tendencies are when we face conflict. It's an ancient psychological driver that's designed to keep us socially accepted and safe. And that's that when we face conflict, we seek for outside validation for our feelings to know that we're that we're not alone that we're not rejected. So like for example, so I am in one week from the time that we're recording this, I'm releasing a self published book. So I had a friend at church who was asking me about the book and he saw the title of it. And he's a good friend of mine. And he's been with me through some changes that have happened in my life in the last couple of years. And he was asking me, he said, Is your book about this particular situation? And I was like, No, it's it has some elements of things that I learned from that situation. But it's not about that situation. And he was like, Oh, good, because if it was about that situation, I was going to be like, Come on, Lisanne, like, you have to write a book about that? It was very, very judgy in that moment, and like, my gut reaction is like, I need to get social support that like, That guy's nuts. And like, really rude for saying that. So like, what do we do? Well, we come home, and we tell our family, or we call our friend, and we're like so and so said this about my book. Can you believe that? Like, how many times have we said that are like so and so did this to me? Can you believe that? Right. And what we're doing is we're garnering social support for our stance so that we don't feel as personally threatened when really all that does is by getting social support for that stance is it deeper ingrains the contention and the separation that exists between us and other people. And that's not what the Prophet was talking about. He was saying, we have to get rid of the separation, we need to be unified in love. And so in the last couple of weeks, what I've tried to do is if I encounter a trigger, instead of looking at it as an opportunity to get support for my stance, I'm looking at it as a mirror that's reflecting an area within myself that needs attention. That there's something that I'm insecure about. There's something inside of me that needs work, or validation, and it's not other people's job to make me feel good. It is my job to seek that within myself, and to connect with God, and make sure that I'm okay with him. And so when I've had things like that happen, like, for example, like just this past Sunday, two days ago, I didn't tell anybody that that happened. Of course, I stood within myself. And I was just like, even if it was about that situation, like what gives you the right to judge, like, if that's part of my process, then that's fine. Like, there's nothing wrong with that. But instead, I took it to Okay, Heavenly Father, I am choosing to take offense to the judgment that this friend gave me, help me release that judgment. My experience is my experience, my writing is my writing. I've noticed that I feel strengthened, I feel fortified in in the spirit in addressing that concern within myself and with my God, instead of addressing it with other people and trying to get support for contention, or the venom that that came from, from that trigger.

Kathryn Davis 22:56

President Nelson promises that the Lord will magnify your efforts beyond your loftiest imagination. And isn't that what we can experience that he will magnify our efforts, as I kind of reread this talk and so much stood out to me, but I just have been thinking about those small adjustments that I can make that seem feasible and attainable in my life. And there was something that President Nelson said at the end, the best is yet to come for those who spend their lives building others, and inviting us to treat others as disciples of Jesus Christ. And I just thought that's something I can focus on. That's tangible to me, is how I can build others, I see the value of that. And that is something that I have really tried over the last couple of weeks is just to build and build in situations where maybe I feel like I'm not agreeing or not being heard or not being valued. Instead of getting defensive, or my tendency Lisanne is to hide. I don't like conflict, I just like to ignore it can I build? and that is definitely I think, a small action that has helped me learn and helped me grow and honestly helped me learn about my Savior, Jesus Christ, because he is a God who builds. I just want to ask you, what have you learned about Jesus Christ as you've studied this talk?

Nassari Everett 24:25

one of the things that came to my mind is that Jesus Christ really cares about what we are feeling. He cares, what are the things that we are struggling with? He knows that we want to be heard. I don't think that it's bad for us to speak up, right? If there's some kind of injustice, whether it is within our home, in our community within church, when we do that with Christ, then you have that support with him. And as we are correcting, there is also so much love and I love that Lissane said that he was speaking to To the world. He's preparing the entire world for his coming, and it starts within our heart. May I share a couple scriptures? Yeah. So in Alma, we learn of the, the people of Ammon, the Anti-Nephi-Lehites. Where they were living, all of a sudden, the Lamanites are now going to attack them and destroy them. They decide, they did not want to react to what was coming to them the way they used to do it. And it says, Thus we see that they buried their weapons of peace, or they buried the weapons of war for peace. And that really stood out to me, I never realized that it started with, they buried their weapons of peace, and then it says, or they buried the weapons of war for peace. We are all trying to achieve peace. But in that process, is it creating peace? Or is it creating more war? Their weapons, which they use to kill, for peace for their own, you know, community. Now they're realizing, no, it was a weapon of war. And now those need to be buried for the true peace, and the only peace that comes through Jesus Christ. So the Anti-Nephi-Lehites bury their weapons, and then they are praying, they are praying vocally in they're just ready, like, we're not fighting. We trust the Lord, whatever will will come, we know that if we die, we will be with him. And the Lamanites saw that, and many of them put their weapons down, and they believed. Anyway, so I that's been in my mind and in my heart, because like I said, we think we come in peace with our words, but are they are are they peace? Is it the peace that the Savior brings versus what the world promises?

Kathryn Davis 27:02

And that's something interesting to think about? What are your weapons of war that you need to lay aside? So Lisanne, what is something that you have learned about Jesus Christ as you've studied this talk?

Lisanne Murphy 27:14

Yeah, and love that question. And I think it's becoming even more nuanced through this conversation. Like, as I've been listening to what we've been discussing, I mean, you take that example of the Anti-Nephi-Lehi's burying their weapons of war. What I think is really interesting is that the very next generation literally picked up their weapons for peace. What?! Like, it's really interesting to consider that the conditions of peace in different times are different. So what is peace? You know, or you take even like the Savior's life himself, like he was coming to bring salvation to all mankind and spread messages of peace. But he created tons of conflict and contention by doing that. He uprooted the the Pharisees and the Sadducees, in the traditional religion, he was he was hugely threatening to the Romans. I mean, he was a messenger of peace, but in it, he brought a ton of conflict, which I think is important to recognize that peace isn't lack of contention, or fighting. So the question that I'm sitting here, even just asking myself at this moment is what is it exactly? And I think that, you know, if we, if we were to have a conversation with the Prophet and Savior, I don't want to put words in their mouth, but my guess is that they would say something about, again, going back to it is it is the state of your heart. Is what you're trying to do harming other people? Is it cantankerous in your soul? And it's corrupting your ability to love and to see others clearly? Or are you standing up for what's right? To me, it just shows the depth of the understanding that the Savior had about peace. I mean, the fact that he was crucified. And on the cross, He literally says, forgive them, for they know not what they do. He knew that it was a yes, like it was his mission to come and to die. But he also knew that it was his message of peace that killed him. But yet through that experience, he still he still had peace in his heart and was directing us to not create bitterness from the situation, which I think is very, it's just difficult. It's just a lot of nuances and put something simply, regardless of the tension and conflict that might be around me, like what is the orientation of my heart? Am I closing off? Or am I open? am I loving? Am I trying my very best to be unconditional? With those around me? I think the Savior demonstrated that incredibly well in his life and literally walked that path.

Kathryn Davis 30:02

And maybe that title of the Savior's, the Prince of Peace, we can look at and understand differently now, after studying this talk, and I just want to thank you both for diving into this talk with me from President Nelson and learning what it means for us and how really we can become more like Him and try and be His disciples. So thank you so much, both of you for joining us today.

Lisanne Murphy 30:29

Thank you so much for having us. Thank you.

Kathryn Davis 30:31

This week are small and simple challenge is a little bit unique. Like I said at the beginning, we are so excited to spend the next six months digging deep into peace. Each week we will be exploring a different attribute as it relates to peace in an effort to find and share more peace. And the best part, we're doing the whole study on our Instagram at magnify community. All you need to do is follow along and you'll have completed each study one week at a time head to magnify the good.com forward slash piece to get your free download, so you can follow along and enjoy some printable cards of our favorite quotes from the talk we discuss today. Stick them on your mirror in your journal or share them with a friend. We can't wait to pave the path to peace together.