Latter-day Saint Life

Who Do I Choose—God or My Husband?


What a profound insight: "A simple yet powerful commandment [Jesus Christ] told His disciples, one that He repeated three times over, 'Love one another; as I have loved you' (John 13:34-35). I am so glad this commandment didn’t include disclaimers. Can you imagine, 'Love one another, except when someone does not believe or act as you do, then please disregard this commandment'? It sounds absurd when it’s in this context, but when life gets real and loved ones disagree on personal matters, this simple but powerful statement can get lost in translation."

I never thought I’d be in a mixed-faith marriage. We hadn’t even celebrated our first wedding anniversary before my husband told me he no longer identified with most of the teachings of the Church. I was hurt and confused. We both were. I had imagined this honeymoon stage playing out very differently. Rather than focusing on this new exciting thing called marriage, we were trying to compromise on theology, lifestyle, and what felt like our entire future.

Where do we go? How do we navigate this journey? Who do I choose?

"This isn’t fair.”

My husband’s beliefs changed, and as a result I’m the one who suffered the consequences. Or at least that’s what it felt like. It wasn’t until we started to become more open about his changes in beliefs with those around us that I realized I wasn’t the only one suffering. My husband was having a very hard time with this transition too. Though they might have had good intentions, he felt that people were more interested in fixing him and not so much in understanding him. While there are times to have faith-promoting conversations, there are also times, I believe, that are better served by just listening and trying to understand.

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