If fear is holding you back from making new friends in your ward, this message from Sister Kristen M. Yee can empower you to make the first move.
Just Go
Last conference, Sister Yee said,
“A young sister shared that she often feels nervous about ministering because she doesn’t know how others will respond. I asked how she works through that. She smiled and said, ‘I go—and it usually turns out much better than I thought.’ She exercises faith, and the Lord helps her.”
This perspective might sound too simple, but the principle behind it is really quite profound. How many times did ancient prophets and people in the scriptures have to proceed without a script, a plan, or a clear path forward? The answer is, almost always.
Before returning to Jerusalem to retrieve the plates from Laban, Nephi declared, “I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them.”
In the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord counsels new missionaries not to worry about tomorrow, then adds, “Neither take ye thought beforehand what ye shall say.”
And after Moses frets over his speaking abilities, the Lord similarly tells him, “Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.”
These scriptures make clear that God doesn’t require us to always know what we’re doing or what’s going to happen. This is what it means to have faith. If we have the courage to embrace a bit of awkwardness and extend kindness to a stranger, our efforts, words, and social skills will be consecrated. The most important part is simply going for it! We know you have it in you.
Ideas for Conversation Starters from the LDS Living Team
Go and ...
1. Give a compliment
“A couple Sundays ago, I almost left a meeting where I didn’t speak to a single person the entire time, but right as I got up to leave, a girl complimented my dress and it led to a little chat!” —Elle
2. Don't be afraid of awkwardness
“Sometimes I tell myself, ‘It just takes 3 seconds of being brave/being awkward’ … and you could make a new friend.” —Maddy
3. Focus on how you make them feel
“I think of a quote … that I saw as a teenager that never left my brain: ‘Focus less on what people think of you and more on how they feel when they are around you.’”
—Emily
4. Establish camaraderie
“Before asking get-to-know-you questions, I like to comment on a shared experience, like, ‘I love that hymn. I wish we sang it more often!’ or ‘The chapel is so cold today!’” —Maddie
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