Humans love heroes. Whether we know them in real life, follow them online, or relate to their fictional stories, we’re naturally drawn to influential people.
There’s nothing wrong with being inspired by others. But the danger comes when we start turning to imperfect people to provide the perfect answers and redemption that only Christ can give. While mortal and fictional heroes may reflect glimmers of His light, they inevitably will fall short at times and disappoint or even hurt us.
Getting let down by others in a Church setting is especially hard—but it’s also the perfect opportunity to let Christ in. Rather than endangering our beliefs, these moments are actually opportunities to build our faith stronger.
The Way to a Firmer Foundation
When members, leaders, or people from Church history don’t live up to our hopes or expectations, we recognize our need for a perfect Savior even more. This clarity compels us to ground our testimonies on Christ, “the rock of our Redeemer.” From our experiences, we learn that we can’t survive on anyone else’s sandy foundation, no matter how resilient it appears.
As Elder Bruce C. Hafen once said, “Our encounters with reality and disappointment are in fact vital stages in the development of our maturity and understanding.”
Facing gaps between the real and the ideal is a painful process. A bishop’s approach might rub us the wrong way, a Relief Society president might overlook or exclude us, or a Sunday School teacher might bring polarizing political opinions into discussions.
But avoiding discomfort is incompatible with spiritual growth.
Friction Leads to Refinement
Wards are divinely designed to push us outside of our typical circles so we can learn from one another’s strengths and weaknesses. This friction, when paired with Christ’s grace, can refine our souls. In his book When Church Is Hard, author Tyler Johnson writes:
“Fully aware of each other’s shortcomings, we come together, day, week, and year in and out, trying to cobble together a community in Christ. As we do so, we seek grace in forgiving our fellow Saints, just as we seek their forgiveness in our own moments of weakness. In so doing, we together provide an enduring testament to the Church’s ability to leverage varying gifts to bless the body of Christ. Indeed, in one important sense, this devotion is a deep part of what makes the church ‘true and living.’”
We can see our fellow Saints for who they truly are—with all their flaws and quirks—and still choose to believe that Christ can use them for good.
This lesson extends beyond our congregations. If we come across an uncomfortable story from Church history or struggle with a Church leader’s words or actions, we can use those moments of dissonance to come closer to the Lord and ultimately strengthen our testimonies.
For example, Sariah from the Book of Mormon worried that her husband’s prophetic counsel may have endangered her sons after he dreamed that they should return to Jerusalem to get the brass plates. Gospel scholar Camille Fronk Olson suggests:
“I think, maybe for the first time, it wasn’t enough for Sariah to get confirmation from her prophet husband that they’re going to be okay. … [I think] she was praying in a way she had never prayed before, and she developed a relationship with her Father in Heaven that she had never had before. And when those boys return, it all comes together. We hear her voice, and she says, ‘Now I know of a surety that God has brought us here.’”
Thankfully, as we grapple with the messy middle, God has provided us with a perfect Hero. When people let us down in spiritual contexts, we can rely on our Savior, Jesus Christ. Presiding Bishop W. Christopher Waddell taught:
“In a world of heroes, with monuments and museums devoted to the exploits of mortal men and women, there is One who stands above all others. I testify that Jesus Christ is not only our hero; He is our Lord and King, the Savior and Redeemer of mankind.”
What You Expect from Yourself
While you should strive to do your best, expecting yourself to be nearly perfect is exhausting. There’s no way to escape the uncomfortable fact that you, too, will let others down, including yourself.
Accepting this truth is radically liberating. When you embrace your imperfections and acknowledge your mistakes with humility, you make room for repentance and Christ’s redeeming grace.
As Elder Gerrit W. Gong taught:
“Understanding the Savior’s freely given atoning love can free us from self-imposed, incorrect, and unrealistic expectations of what perfection is. Such understanding allows us to let go of fears that we are imperfect—fears that we make mistakes, fears that we are not good enough, fears that we are a failure compared to others, fears that we are not doing enough to merit His love.”
You Can Always Access His Grace
God doesn’t expect you to be perfect on your own, and nor should you. Self-imposed standards can undermine your efforts, creating unnecessary pain and paralysis. Most of all, they can isolate you from others, yourself, and the Savior.
So, allow yourself to be vulnerable and real about where you—and your heroes—fall short. The Savior’s grace is always available, especially when others let us down.
You may be surprised by just how often He extends His perfect love through imperfect people.
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