Jonathan Swinton

4 Communication Problems That Might Be Putting Your Marriage at Risk

By Jonathan Swinton

September 06, 2018 09:46 AM MDT

As a marriage counselor, people are frequently asking me to help them with their “communication issues.” But what exactly does that mean? To address communication problems with couples in counseling, I often point to the four dangerous patterns identified by Dr. John Gottman from the University of Washington after years of research.

4 Min Read

8 Questions About Social Media to Ask in Your Marriage

By Jonathan Swinton

November 17, 2017 04:57 PM MST

It was a typical day in my couples counseling practice. I listened to a heartbroken spouse tearfully share her pain regarding what her husband had done. She had just discovered he had been cheating on her for the past six months with one of his old high school girlfriends. “How did this happen?” I asked the husband. He began to cry as well. He didn’t understand how it happened. He mentioned making jokes with the woman on a social media site one day when he saw her post something humorous. From there he described a tale of secrecy that moved to full-blown sexual indiscretions. His wife found out because he left his phone on with one of her messages loaded.

4 Min Read

Sponsored: Seminars for Stronger Relationships This Weekend

By Jonathan Swinton

November 05, 2017 10:38 PM MST

Swinton & Associates Counseling is calling for final registrants to its Seminars for Stronger Relationships on November 11, 2017, at the Karen Gail Miller Conference Center in Sandy, Utah. Individuals and couples can still register at www.swintoncounseling.com.

1 Min Read

Sponsored: Seminars for Stronger Relationships to Help More Couples

By Jonathan Swinton

October 04, 2017 05:53 PM MDT

Swinton & Associates Counseling is pleased to announce that the Seminars for Stronger Relationships is expanding with a major event November 11, 2017, at the Karen Gail Miller Conference Center in Sandy, Utah.

2 Min Read

Do Your Children Act Entitled?

By Jonathan Swinton

December 11, 2012 05:05 AM MST

There has been a shift in culture and expectations among young people today. “What’s in it for me?” is now the constant refrain. Children are especially susceptible to this attitude, as they absorb it everywhere. They watch television where parents are disrespected by their kids. They see manipulative advertising convincing them to expect their parents to provide the newest best thing.

2 Min Read

Money and Marriage Problems

By Jonathan Swinton

July 10, 2012 04:06 AM MDT

People ask me all the time if fighting about money is one of the most common problems in a marriage. But surprisingly to many, I don’t believe money is the root cause of many marital problems. Financial disagreements, though common, are more accurately a symptom of upbringing and other underlying problems that exist in relationships. The money itself is not the real issue.

3 Min Read

Blending Families

By Jonathan Swinton

May 08, 2012 04:05 AM MDT

When we talk about families, we frequently think of a certain ideal; a family where both parents are there, the kids are all little angels, and life at home is like living in a musical titled When There’s Love at Home. There is certainly merit in striving for a close-knit, loving home. However, real-life family for many people is vastly different from the ideal.

3 Min Read

Is Parenting Getting in the Way of Your Marriage?

By Jonathan Swinton

April 24, 2012 04:05 AM MDT

One of the most common types of couples who seek help from me in couples counseling are new empty nesters. They often say something like, “Now that our kids are gone, we don’t know what to talk about” or “We are having difficulty getting used to being alone together so much.” If you are an empty nester, does this sound familiar? If not, do you want to make sure this doesn’t happen to your marriage?

2 Min Read

How to Avoid Criticism in Relationships

By Jonathan Swinton

February 14, 2012 05:05 AM MST

We live in a society where criticism has become the norm and respect a thing of the past. This is, in my professional opinion, one of the primary reasons families across the United States are deteriorating.

3 Min Read

Is Dating Really Necessary for Healthy Marriages?

By Jonathan Swinton

December 20, 2011 05:05 AM MST

Do you and your spouse go out on dates? If so, how frequently? If not, why? One of the most common things couples stop doing over time is regular dating. In counseling, I generally ask couples if they go out together. I am often met with a laugh, or some comment about how that stopped when they had kids. So, this begs the question: Is dating really necessary for healthy marriages?

4 Min Read

How To Show Your Spouse You're Thankful for Them

By Jonathan Swinton

November 22, 2011 02:51 PM MST

As we approach the beginning of the holiday season, I gear up for a busy time of couples counseling. There always seems to be an influx of couples coming to see me for counseling help after Thanksgiving and Christmas. These holidays can test family relationships, strain finances, and highlight the lengthy winter that lies ahead. However, couples can combat some of these tendencies and strengthen their relationships through the holidays. One of the best ways is to help your spouse realize how thankful you are for them.

2 Min Read

Sane Family Gatherings

By Jonathan Swinton

November 08, 2011 05:03 AM MST

Bringing all the family together can be extremely rewarding, but it can also test the relationships of all those who are present. Here are four tips that can help minimize the negative impact that family and family gatherings can have on your marriage.

3 Min Read

Defensiveness: A Marriage Communication Problem

By Jonathan Swinton

October 27, 2011 03:15 PM MDT

Do you ever get defensive when talking to your spouse? Does your spouse get defensive with you? Defensiveness is one of the most common negative communication patterns I see when I counsel couples. The problem is that defensiveness tends to be one of the key communication patterns leading to arguments.

3 Min Read

Could Mental Health Issues Be Hurting Your Marriage?

By Jonathan Swinton

September 21, 2011 04:05 AM MDT

Could mental health issues may be negatively influencing your marriage? Have you or your spouse ever been diagnosed with a mental health problem? If not, have you ever checked to see if you or your spouse have any symptoms?

4 Min Read

Can I Really Forgive and Forget?

By Jonathan Swinton

August 18, 2011 04:05 AM MDT

How do I forgive when it still hurts so much? How do I get back to how it was before he/she lost my trust? I want to move on, but how do I know if I am ready? How do I control all my thoughts that make me question if I can trust her/him again?

5 Min Read

Is Selfishness Poisoning Your Marriage?

By Jonathan Swinton

July 19, 2011 04:03 AM MDT

We live in an economy that survives by convincing us that what we have is not good enough and we deserve better. Advertisers constantly throw this idea in our faces. They need us to believe that we cannot live without whatever they are selling, or that our lives would be better with something new or different.

6 Min Read

What Should We Say to Help Struggling Loved Ones?

By Jonathan Swinton

June 15, 2011 08:37 PM MDT

Do you ever have a loved one express their struggles to you? Do you wonder what you should say to help them? It is important to know how to respond. After all, this is someone you care about. You want what is best for them, and they are counting on you for help. The key to responding appropriately can be quite simple. However, many of the common responses we give to our struggling loved ones may do more damage than good.

3 Min Read

14 Tips for Disciplining Children

By Jonathan Swinton

May 17, 2011 03:48 PM MDT

One of the most common issues parents ask me for help with in counseling is how to appropriately discipline their children. Kids can be a wonderful joy in the lives of parents, but they can also become stressors when their behavior starts to get out of control. I have compiled a list of helpful discipline strategies that can help parents improve the behavior of their children.

6 Min Read