The weeks and months leading up to our first missionary leaving for two years were a flurry of excitement and plans. But one thing we didn’t anticipate was the impact on the children who would be left behind.
With the siblings’ oldest brother officially gone on a mission, the change in the household was palpable. We all missed our elder—a lot.
For some siblings, a departing elder or sister missionary feels akin to grieving a death. So, how can you help your kids adjust?
Here are some practical ideas.
1. Create a Missionary Bulletin Board
Set aside a space in your home for a picture of your missionary, a map of their area, and maybe even a countdown poster or chain. Print photos and letters and let siblings help update the board often. This visual reminder not only keeps your missionary “present” at home but also gives siblings a tangible way to track their sibling’s journey.
Since our youngest daughter doesn’t have a cell phone, she isn’t able to read the weekly emails like her older siblings do. So, I print off our missionary’s emails and put them in a binder. She loves reading them and often refers to them. She even chose the country of his mission as a school project and learned more about where her brother was serving.
2. Make Video Call Time Sacred
The timing of weekly video calls on preparation day will vary depending on the mission and time zone differences. But whenever the calls happen, try to make them a family event. Invite siblings to be present and encourage them to ask questions or share updates from home.
At our house, my husband and I usually talk to our elder in the early morning, and then our missionary calls back at the end of his p-day for one-on-one time with his brother. Because this younger brother is preparing for his own mission, that time has become especially meaningful.
3. Keep the Lore Alive
One of the sweetest things we’ve noticed at home is how often “missionary lore” comes up in conversation. Siblings will say, “Remember when he used to…?” or, “If he were here, he’d be doing this right now.”
Encourage that! Sharing memories, laughing over quirks, and even keeping some traditions alive—like a family inside joke or a favorite food they loved—helps siblings feel like their missionary is still part of the home.
4. Encourage Siblings to Write Weekly Emails
Your missionary isn’t the only one who benefits from writing emails. Siblings can send their own short updates or even send drawings if they prefer not to write.
They don’t have to be long—a few sentences about a basketball game, a silly thing the dog did, or a test at school. These little notes help siblings feel invested in the missionary’s journey and remind them that their own experiences matter, too. For older siblings, this practice can strengthen their testimonies and prepare them if they’re considering a mission of their own.
5. Involve Siblings in Care Packages
If you are able to send packages, encourage siblings to contribute. Younger kids can add a drawing or their favorite candy. Older siblings can choose something practical or funny to include.
Knowing they sent tokens of love across the miles helps siblings feel part of the ongoing support team. And seeing their missionary holding the items on video can warm their heart.
6. Feed Your Local Missionaries
For many years, our family has hosted local missionaries for dinner on a regular basis. And since having our own son on a mission, this practice has become even more special. We all feel more connected with our elder as we help the missionaries serving in our home ward.
Feeding the missionaries gives the whole family a unique opportunity to serve. Encourage your kids to help prepare the meal and be there when the missionaries come to eat. As they eat together, those elders or sisters can share mission experiences in real time. Our kids love it and learn a lot. In return, they are able to share details about their brother’s experiences on his mission.
7. Celebrate Short-Term Milestones
Two years or 18 months can feel endless, especially to younger siblings. Breaking it up into smaller milestones makes it more manageable. One idea is to celebrate short-term milestones (one month out, for example) with a favorite dessert. Or you could mark the missionary’s birthday with a family service project in their honor. Ask your children for ideas.
These small moments give siblings something to look forward to and help them feel connected to their brother or sister on a mission. Plus, your missionary will love seeing the photos and hearing about the experiences.
8. Encourage New Roles at Home
Sometimes, siblings feel the “hole” most when they’re suddenly without the older brother or sister who used to fill a role. Give younger siblings opportunities to step into new roles, perhaps helping with family scripture study, taking on a chore the missionary did, or being the one to start a family prayer.
Invite them to explore a new perspective. A loss can be an opportunity for growth. Plus, when the sibling returns from their mission and sees how much their younger sibling has grown in their absence, they’ll be all the more proud.
The Lord Sees Their Sacrifices
When a missionary leaves, it’s a big change for the whole family. Siblings might feel a mix of pride, sadness, and even a sense of loss. But with intentional connection, shared memories, and opportunities to participate in the work, they can feel strengthened and included in the missionary’s success.
Most of all, remind them that their feelings matter and that the Lord sees their sacrifice, too. After all, missions aren’t just about the missionary who leaves—they’re also about the family who loves them enough to let them go.
More articles for you:
▶ Heartwarming (and funny) welcome-home posters for missionaries
▶ How to study the scriptures like a missionary
▶ The best thing to do with your missionary as soon as they get home
