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What happens when an eternal marriage doesn't end up lasting for eternity? Like many children in the Church, Scott Sonnenberg grew up singing “I Love to See the Temple,” and “Families Can Be Together Forever.” That treasured ideal was shattered shortly after Scott returned home from his mission and his parents went through a divorce. He promised himself at the time that divorce would never ravage his own marriage—but, as he explains on this week’s podcast, that is exactly what happened. On this week's episode, Sonnenberg shares how he's navigated being a member of the Church when a forever family seems out of reach, and how the Atonement has given him hope through his trial.
This is something everyone should read. I love these thoughts: "You will find that each day, as the variables of your life change, what you are able to offer will change as well. Marry someone that understands that. . . . Marry someone that is willing to meet you not halfway but where you need them." "Life is about the time that you spend together. It's not about where it's spent."
Editorial note: This is a personal story of how two women came to join the Church. It's important to remember that every person's journey is different, and we acknowledge that gay members of the Church should find the solution that best works for their situation. This story was shared as part of a series called Splitting the Sky, a YouTube documentary series featuring stories of predominately LDS women.
So, what should you say to someone who is recently divorced? Here are a few do’s and don’ts to help you navigate some emotional landmines while still offering your heartfelt support.
I distinctly remember the feeling of walking into church that first Sunday after having filed for divorce. Holding tightly to my two-year-old’s hand, I headed into sacrament meeting to a row near the overflow section and prayed that no one would talk to me. Nothing had changed, and yet everything had. My husband and I had been separated for months, but I had never opened up to friends or ward members about my marital struggles.
In a divorce, the pointing fingers, the family-wide division that comes when members side with one person over the other, and the sheer hurt of it all can be overwhelming.
When we are confronted with a big decision in our lives—many times the first thing we do is pray for an answer. When we receive personal revelation or confirmation on the matter, we can move forward knowing Heavenly Father is supporting us.
You’ve been quite open about your Mormon faith — you’ve even drawn an adaptation of The Book of Mormon. Had you always been part of the faith, or did you arrive at it later as part of that existential search for meaning that you mentioned? Do your beliefs inform Frank? MA: That also was subconscious. My parents got divorced, which is extremely rare in the Mormon Church. I think there’s like a five-percent divorce rate for couples that have been married in the Mormon Temple —