Indeed, as the popular catchphrase says, “porn kills love,” but let’s also remember that love kills porn. That doesn’t mean that our love for someone else can change their addiction or even their behavior. But love can motivate us—how we prepare, how we respond, how we listen—particularly with our children. If we are going to have any hope of eradicating this plague from the world, love must be both at the forefront and the foundation of all our efforts.
I wish to suggest three applications of love that I hope we will focus on, embrace, and enact. These three applications are tied to three phases of encounters with pornography our children may face.
First, we say “I love you” by truly protecting them. Second, we say “I still love you” by the way we respond to their exposure to pornography, whether intentional or not. And third, we say “I will always love you” by providing loving support for them as they work on healing if they’ve experienced compulsive use or addiction. In each phase, love is the key.
1. Protection: “I Love You”
Picture in your mind a child you love. When you tell this child, “I love you,” what does it mean? At its core, it means that we provide protection so that we can help those we love to become their best selves and face life’s challenges.