Emily Peterson lost her husband, Nathan, only two months after his diagnosis with an aggressive form of brain cancer. She was left with six children to raise and a family business to run.
Emily shared her story on a recent episode of LDS Living’s All In podcast. We believe her insights on grief will help others faithfully persevere as they navigate their own heartbreak.
1. Place Your Faith in Jesus Christ, Not in an Outcome
Before Nathan’s passing, Emily was exercising faith in a miracle—that an experimental treatment would heal Nathan. But she recalls that Nathan’s faith ran deeper than that.
“He had us at every single prayer always say we didn’t want our wills [to be done but instead] whatever the Lord would want and what would help us draw closer to the Savior and closer as a family,” she says.
Emily admits that she and her children have had to dig deep through their grief to realize that having faith doesn’t mean having faith in a desired outcome; it means having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and in His ability to heal our hearts.
“As we’ve tried to have faith in those things, then we’re able to face the challenges,” she says. “I believe that’s when we are able to see the little miracles.”
And Nathan believed this was the ultimate purpose of their pain. While awaiting his diagnosis, he told Emily and their children, “If we come out of this with greater faith in Jesus Christ and closer as a family, it will be worth it in the end.”
2. Don’t Ask “Why”
As a single mother and CEO of a company, Emily sometimes wonders how she’s supposed to manage everything on her own, and she finds herself asking, “Why?”
But this is something Nathan told her to never do.
“I have to do what Nathan asked,” she says, “[Which is to ask,] ‘What can we learn?’”
As Emily has pivoted from asking “Why?” to asking “What?”, she has seen her children’s testimonies and belief in the Savior grow deeper.
“I can’t imagine being a mother and facing this without the gospel of Jesus Christ,” she says. “It has been everything to me in knowing how to handle the challenges that [we’ve] faced and the sadness of missing [Nathan] and not having him here with us.”
3. Call on Heavenly Help
A few months after Nathan’s passing, Emily’s oldest daughter finished her freshman year of college and returned home, overwhelmed with grief. Though she had received her mission call, she decided to postpone her departure as she felt she wasn’t in an emotional or mental state to serve.
“I felt like we had done everything,” Emily says. “We had gone to counseling, she was doing cold plunges, she was listening to podcasts, she was reading her scriptures, she was going to the temple, and she just couldn’t pull out of it.”
On her way to work one day, Emily tearfully prayed, addressing both Heavenly Father and Nathan on behalf of her daughter.
“I said, ‘You are her Heavenly Father. You are her earthly father, and I cannot do this. We have tried everything that we can, and we can’t do it. So, she is yours. I am turning her all over to you.”
Emily recalls that, from that day forward, her daughter experienced an immediate upward trajectory and was soon able to leave on her mission.
“That was one of many experiences that I’ve had where I know that earthly angels can help us, that our family from the other side can help us,” Emily says. “I can call on them. I can rely on them.”
Listen to the full episode on the All In podcast, which is available on all major streaming platforms.
For more perspectives on grief, check out the articles below:
▶ A widowed mom of 5 shares her simple steps to creating joy
▶ When we aren’t given a miracle: What one grieving mother is learning about trust in the Lord
▶ Elder Soares shares emotional story of losing his son, finding comfort in the gospel
