Latter-day Saint Life

President Hinckley's Counsel to Single Saints: Just Because You Don't Happen to Be Married, It Doesn't Make You Different


At a single adult fireside in 1989, President Hinckley gave this counsel to the single saints of the Church, something that is crucial for all members to read, no matter their age, gender, or marital status.

Somehow we have put a badge on a very important group in the Church. It reads “Singles.” I wish we would not do that. You are individuals, men and women, sons and daughters of God, not a mass of “look-alikes” or “do-alikes.” Because you do not happen to be married does not make you essentially different from others. All of us are very much alike in appearance and emotional responses, in our capacity to think, to reason, to be miserable, to be happy, to love and be loved.
You are just as important as any others in the scheme of our Father in Heaven, and under His mercy no blessing to which you otherwise might be entitled will forever be withheld from you.
You are precious and important to Him. You are precious and important to the Church. You are precious and important to all of us.
While we are all very much alike, we are also different from one another. We have our individual problems and concerns. I know of no one in this world who is entirely without these, be he or she single or married. As a matter of fact, unfortunately and regrettably, there is much of misery and unhappiness in many, many homes where there are husbands and wives and children. A happy marriage is an ideal much to be sought after and worked for. None of us would deny that. All of us would wish for it and encourage it.
Your numbers include various categories—young men and women who have never married and who, possibly, are not yet ready for marriage. Some of you wish to serve missions first, and that is commendable. Your numbers include some who are older who have not married and who may not have that opportunity in this life. There are likewise those who have been married and who are now divorced, and also many who have been widowed.

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Get more incredible insights and encouraging counsel for singles from Sister Kristen Oaks!

In a Church that is focused on family, singles can feel somewhat discounted and discouraged. In the book A Single Voice, author Kristen Oaks addresses questions such as:

  • What is “the single best thing you can do” as a single person in the Church?
  • Are there ways to ease the transition from a singles ward to a home ward?
  • What are some specific ways to make single life happier and more fulfilling?

A Single Voiceaddresses these concerns and offers valuable insights, personal reflections (including the story of the author's courtship and marriage to Elder Oaks), and rich advice for living life to the fullest as a single member.


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