Latter-day Saint Life

Questions to Ask While Dating Someone Struggling with Pornography (+ Questions They Should Ask, Too)


As scary as talking (or asking) about problems with pornography may be, not talking about it can lead to devastating problems later. Each individual pornography problem is unique and challenging, and you may not even know if it’s an issue or how to bring it up with the person you’re dating, so it’s important that you seek guidance from the Spirit. There’s no single solution for every situation, but in this article, we offer some suggestions for those of you who might be wondering:

  • How can I approach the subject of pornography with the person I am dating? And when is it appropriate to ask/tell?

  • How can I know if I should move forward in a relationship with someone who has a history of pornography use?

  • How can we work together to overcome pornography?

For Those Who Have Struggled or Are Struggling

If you have struggled with pornography in the past or if you are currently struggling, the thought of dating may bring you a sense of hopelessness or anxiety. But if you have a sincere desire to remove pornography from your life (or have already removed it), know that with your own efforts and help from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, a healthy, lasting relationship is possible for you. Consider the following questions as you pursue a relationship.

1. Do We Really Need to Talk about It?

A common question is, “Do I really need to share my history of pornography use with the person I’m dating, even if I’ve repented of it?” Or “Do I need to talk about current problems with pornography with the person I’m dating?” Generally, it does need to be discussed—at the right time and in a sensitive way. As you have this conversation, keep in mind a few important principles:

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